The dead are often just as living to us as the living are, only we cannot get them to believe it. They can come to us, but till we die we cannot go to them. To be dead is to be unable to understand that one is alive.
 Samuel Butler, The Note-Books of Samuel Butler (1912). copy citation

Context

“To himself every one is an immortal: he may know that he is going to die, but he can never know that he is dead.
vi
If life is an illusion, then so is death—the greatest of all illusions. If life must not be taken too seriously—then so neither must death.
vii
The dead are often just as living to us as the living are, only we cannot get them to believe it. They can come to us, but till we die we cannot go to them. To be dead is to be unable to understand that one is alive. Dissolution
Death is the dissolving of a partnership, the partners to which survive and go elsewhere. It is the corruption or breaking up of that society which we have called Ourself. The corporation is at an end, both its soul and its body cease as a whole, but the immortal constituents do not cease and never will.” source