J. S. M. Tombs

“ THE PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE.
(The modern girl, according to a daily paper, is not to be won by love-making. She prefers a cheerful and amusing companion.)
Dear, of old I swore devotion
In the manner knights employed,
Wrote epistles with emotion
(Which I trust have been destroyed) ;
Now at last, a practised lover,
Boasting conquests not a few,
I am told to put a cover
On my sentiments for you.
Cupid's chat is out of fashion;
Sloppy words are never said;
Voices once a-throb with passion
Shake with merriment instead ”

“ Unless I turned completely deaf as well?
So, blind and deaf, I might perhaps recover
A partial peace of mind, but all in vain,
For memories pursue the luckless lover,
And only death can ease him of his pain. ”

“ And even milk hath flavour, too,
When sun-kissed milkmaids hand it you.
Beer, in a large resounding can
Befits a coarser type of man,
While some rejoice in spirit pure,
And others in a faked liqueur. ”