A. T. Quiller-Couch

“ Sam considered this for a while, and ended by drawing a folded scrap of paper from his trouser-pocket.
"I don't tell no more than can't be 'elped, missie. You just list'n to this."
He read:
Dear Brother 'Enery,—This comes opin' to find you well as it leaves me at Stratford. M. sends her love, an' you will be pleased to 'ear she grows beautifuller every day an' in character likewise. It do seem to me this world is a better place for containin' of her; an' a man ought to be 'appy, dear 'Enery, when you can call 'er mine——"
"That don't seem right to me some'ow," commented Tilda. ”

“ Why, I can do it in arf-a-minute, an' on my 'ead. You just listen. Madam, a 'orseman— No, wait a moment. Madam, a Norseman—" Tilda hesitated and came to a halt. "Would you mind sayin' it over again, Arthur Miles?" she asked politely.
"Madam, a horseman comes riding——"
"That 'll do. Madam, a—H—h—horseman— Is that better?"
"You needn't strain at it so," said the boy. "Why, you're quite red in the face!"
"Oh, yes, I need," said Tilda; "first-along, any'ow." She fell silent for a space. "That Mortimer," she conceded, "isn' quite the ass that 'e looks. This 'as got to take time, after all." ”

“ Then in came Mortimer an' sang a song with 'er—as well 'e might—about 'is true love 'avin' 'is 'eart an' 'is 'avin' 'ers, an' everyone clappin' an' stampin' an' ancorein' in the best of tempers. Well, an' what does the man do after an interval o' five minutes, but dress hisself up in black an' call 'er names for 'avin' married his uncle? This was too much for the back seats, an' some o' them told 'im to go 'ome an' boil 'is 'ead. ”

“ Your delivery will be immature, doubtless; but with some tuition from me——"
"If you try it on, I'll tell 'Ucks," the girl threatened, by this time desperate. "You're like all the actors—leastways you're like all that ever I met ”