Ashley Sterne

“ A bright idea occurred to me as I was waiting for the bath to fill.
"Joan," I cried, "don't you think I might open Johann to-night?" Joan, who had been trying to decide whether it would not be more advisable to have my sweater dyed a permanent shot-green and brown, demurred.
"I thought your anti-German conscience would not permit you to open Johann until after the war's over," she called back.
"My anti-German conscience has been severely wounded," I replied. "It hasn't sufficient strength to hold out much longer. In a few seconds it will surrender unconditionally."
"Be brave," urged Joan. ”

“ Owing to lack of education a famous novelist had confused his left hand with his right, with the result that when we were right-turned he had dealt me a terrific blow on the ear with the barrel of his rifle. ”