Catullus

“ It is not (may I so please Caecilius to whom I have now been handed over)
my fault, although it is said to be mine,
no one can speak of any wrongdoing by me:
but it is the judgement of people that the door does each deed,
who, whenever something is found out to have been done badly,
they all shout at me: Door, it is your fault. ”

“ Her husband did not touch her before,
he whose little dagger hung weaker than a soft beet,
and never raised itself to the middle of his tunic;
but his father is said to have violated the bed of that son,
and dishonored his wretched home,
either because his impious mind burned with a blind love,
or because his son was infertile with barren seed,
so something more vigorous had to be sought elsewhere,
which could loosen her virgin belt."
You tell of an outstanding parent with amazing dutifulness,
who himself has pissed in his own son's lap! ”

“ Moreover she added someone else, whom I do not want to mention
by name, in case he raises his red eyebrows.
He is a tall man, against whom was once brought a big lawsuit
by a fake childbirth from a lying belly. ”