Desiderius Erasmus

“ I thynke not fully so moche yf the asse stretch forth his eares, but go to it skyllis no matter of that, let it passe, he that bare Christ vpon his backe was called Christofer, and thou whiche bearest the gospell boke aboute with the shall for Poliphemus be called the gospeller or the gospell bearer.
Polip. Do not you counte it an holy thynge to cary aboute with a man the newe testament? ”

“ Howe many tymes ouer?
Poli. Onis, & I trowe it is often inoughe, for the gospell forbyddeth often repetynge of one thynge.
Canni. Can ye saye your pater noster through to an ende & haue youre mynde runnynge vpon nothynge elles in all that whyle?
Poli. By my trouthe and ye wyll beleue me I neuer yet assayed nor proued whether I coulde do it or no. But is it not sufficient to saye it with my mouthe?
Can. I can not tell whether it be or no. But I am sure god here vs not excepte we praye from the bothum of our harte. But tell me another thyng I wyll aske the. Doest thou not fast very often? ”

“ There is as they say neyther barrell better hearing, but that in my iudgement he is the falser knaue of the twayne whiche robbes a man that puttes his confidence and trust in hym.
Bea. yea but howe fewe men are there nowe adayes lyuynge whiche are contente to restore agayne that whiche they were put in truste to kepe, or yf they deluer it agayne it is 44so dymynysshed, gelded, nypped, and pynched, that it is not delyuered whollye, but some thinge cleues in theyr fyngers, that the prouerbe may haue place where the horse walloweth there lyeth some heares. ”

“ Boni. It is true there are many wolde take it euyll as you saye in dede.
Bea. And nowe it is commyn to that poynt that thoughe there are many vnthryftes and spêdals whiche consume theyr substaunce at the 40wyne and vpon harlottes, and yet so wyllynge to continewe openly that all the worlde wonders at them, yet they wyll be offended and take peper in the noose yf a man shulde call them ruffyans or baudy knaues.
Boni. Suche fellowes thynke they deserue prayse for the thynge, and yet for all that they can not abyde the name dewe to the thinge whiche they deserue. ”

“ Truely me thynke it is of no valure or lytle good worthe, onles a man haue the thynge itselfe whiche is sygnified by the name.
Beatus. Yea you maye well thynke your pleasure, but I am assured that the most part of all mortall men be of another mynde. ”

“ Reken quod he, naye ye maye reken fyve hundreth mennes names besyde these of sundrye faculties and occupacions whiche wyll promyse more by an ynch of a candle then they wyll performe by a whole pounde.
Boni. Why 43and ye call this lyenge all the worlde is full of suche lyenge.
Bea. Ye se also lykewyse that no man can abyde to be called thefe, and yet all men do not abhorre the thynge so greatly. ”

“ Yea yea but wolde god suche hasty fellowes dyd as well abhorre the thinge and hate lienge as well as to be called lyers, was it neuer thy chaunce to be dysceyued of any man whiche borowinge mony of the appoyntynge the a certayne daye to repaye the sayd money and so performyd not his appoyntment nor kept his day? ”

“ For one asse alone is able to beare thre hundreth suche bokes, and I thynke suche a great lubber as thou art were stronge inoughe to beare as great a burden, and yf thou had a hansome packesadle sette vpon thy backe. ”

“ It is a token of holynes in dede if it be done without hypocrysie, I meane if it be done without dissimulacion/and for 14that end, intent & purpose, that it shuld be done for.
Poliphe. What the deuyl & a morten tellest thou a man of warre of hypocrisie, away with hypocrisie to the monkes and the freers. ”

“ The fauoure that is shewed to men of warre, for by suche shyftes and thus they practyse before to be good men of warre that they 49maye be more redy & hansome to spoyle theyr enemyes when they shall encounter with thê. ”

“ Canni. I am no preest man, ther fore yf thou wylt be shryuen thou must seke a preest to whome thou maye be lawfully confessed.
Poliphe. I am wont styl to cõfesse my selfe to god, but I wyl confesse thus moche to the at this tyme I am not yet become a perfyte gospeller or an euangelical man, for I am but yet as it were one of ye cõmune people, ye knowe wel perde we gospellers haue iiii. gospels wrytten by the .iiii. euange26lystes, & suche gospellers as I am hunt busely, and chefely for .iiii. thynges that we may haue. ”

“ Unde. to prouyde dayntie fare for the bellie, that nothynge be lackynge to that parte of the body whiche nature hath placed vnder the belly, ye wote what I meane, and to obtayne and procure suche liuinge that we may lyue welthely and at pleasure without carke & care. And fynally that we maye do what we lyst without checke or controlment, yf we gospellars lacke none of all these thynges we crye and synge for ioye, amonge our ful cuppes Io Io we tryumphe and are wonderfull frolycke, we synge and make as mery as cup and can, and saye the gospell is a lyue agayne Chryst rayneth. ”

“ I graunte that, but althoughe to commyt adulterie be a more wycked synne then thefte yet for al that some men reioyse and shewe them selfe glad of that name, whiche wolde be redy by and by to drawe theyr swerdes and fyghte withe a man that wolde or durst call them theues. ”

“ Dothe not masons Brekelayers, Carpenters, Smy42thes, Goldsmithes, Taylours, disceyue and disapoynt vs after the lyke maner daylye promysynge to do youre worke suche a daye and suche a daye without any fayle, or further delaye, and yet for all that they parforme not theyr promesse althoughe it stande the neuer somoche vpon hande, or that thou shuldest take neuer so moche profyte by it. ”

“ And yet for all your 16sayenge all suche deacons are no saynttes that beare the gospell so in theyr myndes.
Cannius. But lest ye play the subtyle and capcious sophystryar with me I wyll tell you this one thynge before. No man can beare the gospell in his mynde but he must nedes loue it from the bothum of his harte, no man loueth it inwardly and from the bothû of his harte but he must nedes declare and expresse the gospell in his lyuinge, outwarde maners, & behauour. ”

“ And fynally to conclude howe wyse be they whiche for a lytle shorte transytorye pleasure of this lyfe deserue euerlastynge tormentes and punyshementes?
Boni. Euen reason forseth me to graunt that they are more then frãtyke and folyshe.
Bea. Yea 39but althoughe all the whole worlde be full of suche fooles, a man can scaselye fynde one whiche can abyde the name of a foole, and yet they deserue to be called so for asmoche as they hate not the thynge.
Boni. Suerly it is euen so as ye seye.
Bea. Ye knowe also howe the names of a lyar and a thefe are abhorred and hated of all men. ”

“ But what diligence I have enployed in the translaciõ hereof I referre it to the iudgement of the lerned sort, whiche cõferynge my translacion with the laten dyaloges, I dowte not wyl condone and pardone my boldnesse, in that that I chalenge the semblable lybertie whiche the translatours of this tyme iustlie chalenge. ”

“ Ah ha, nowe I wot wherabout ye be, belyke ye thîke that I lyue not accordynge to the gospell or as a good gospeller shulde do.
18Canni9. There is no man can dyssolue this questiõ better then thy selfe.
Poli. Call ye it dissoluynge? Naye and yf a thynge come to dyssoluynge gyue me a good sharpe axe in my hande and I trow I shall dyssolue it well inoughe.
Canni. What woldest thou do, I praye the, and yf a man shulde say to thy teth thou lyest falsely, or elles call the by thy ryght name knaue in englysshe. ”