Earl Derr Biggers

“ George tried to explain, but explainin' to angry women is like expostulate with a storm at sea. The names they called him was far better an' stronger than I'd heard from sea-captains who'd had profanity on their side from birth.
When we'd gone about three miles down the coast I took George aside.
"Your wife can't follow you here," I says, "an' I can't listen to this commotion much longer an' stay in my right mind. Why not stop an' put these women ashore in a boat. They can walk back to Grlmport before midnight,"
George said it was the best plan, an' he told the ladies so. ”

“ In a evil minute, urged on my my kindness o' heart an' a offer of a third what I get fer 'em, I agreed to come up here in the general's yacht an' sell 'em off fer him."
"Well, why don't you?" I says.
"Why don't I?" says George, with tears in his eyes. "That's it, why don't I? A thousand white elephants on board this yacht would be easier disposed of. A thousand diamond tiaras disaappearin' from the New York wharf wouldn't have caused more stir among the police. The government has taken charge o' the rifles, an' now they're lookin' fer the machines. They want everything. ”

“ We could get under way quicker if anything happened, he said, an' he was so afraid o' trouble that he went ashore an' hired a waterman to carry the ladies to an' from the yacht, not wantin' to use our own boat fer the purpose.
At one o'clock that afternoon wo set down to wait fer customers. George was a little nervous about the outcome o' the plan, so I cheers him up a bit.
"Think of it," I says, "in this deserted village there's over a thousand women, heart-sick an' hungerin' fer a bargain sale. Few, if any, have come into their lives. ”

“ Why not run up there fer one day, pass round bills in the mornin' invitin' all ladies to come on board in the afternoon an' view the machines we're almost givin' away, sell all we can, deliver 'em an' collect the money, an' then flit away before suspicion wakes? I'll go with you, George. ”

“ He said the machines was bought by a missionary society fer the heathen in Africa, but when they was delivered the heathen wouldn't have 'em, because they didn't like to sew, an' didn't wear clothes, anyhow.
[ Illustration: PUT UP THE SIGNBOARD WHERE THEY COULDN'T HELP BEIN' SEEN. ]
One o' the crew that was onct a sign-painter in San Francisco printed George's ads on ten big boards, an' the mornin' wo got to Grimport we took 'em ashore an' put 'em up where they couldn't help bein' seen. ”

“ The longest-living author of this work died in 1933, so this work is in the public domain in countries and areas where the copyright term is the author's life plus 89 years or less. This work may be in the public domain in countries and areas with longer native copyright terms that apply the rule of the shorter term to foreign works. ”