George Colman

“ Enter Quince, Snug, Bottom, Flute, Snowt, and Starveling.
QUINCE. Is all our company here?
Bot. You were best to call them generally, man by man, according to the scrip.
Quin. Here is the scrowl of every man's name, which is thought fit through all Athens to play in our interlude before the Duke and Dutchess, on his wedding day at night.
Bot. First, good Peter Quince, say what the play treats on; then read the names of the actors; and so grow on to a point.
Quin. Marry, our play is the most lamentable comedy, and most cruel death of Pyramus and Thisby. ”

“ Now, good Peter Quince, call forth your actors by the scrowl. Masters, spread yourselves.
Quin. Answer as I call you. Nick Bottom the weaver!
Bot. Ready: Name what part I am for, and proceed.
Quin. You, Nick Bottom, are set down for Pyramus.
Bot. What is Pyramus, a lover, or a tyrant?
Quin. A lover that kills himself most gallantly for love.
Bot. That will ask some tears in the true performing of it: If I do it let the audience look to their eyes; I will move storms; I will condole in some measure. To the rest; yet, my chief humour is for a tyrant ”

“ At the Duke's oak we meet.
Bot. But hold ye, hold ye, neighbours; are your voices in order, and your tunes ready? For if we miss our musical pitch, we shall be all 'sham'd and abandon'd.
Quin. Ay, ay! Nothing goes down so well as a little of your sol, fa, and long quaver; therefore let us be in our airs—and for better assurance I have got the pitch pipe.
Bot. Stand round, stand round! We'll rehearse our eplog—Clear up your pipes, and every man in his turn take up his stanza-verse—Are you all ready?
All. Ay, ay!—Sound the pitch-pipe, Peter Quince. ”

“ Quin. You can play no part but Pyramus, for Pyramus is a sweet fac'd man, a proper man as one shall see in a summer's day; a most lovely gentleman-like man: therefore you must needs play Pyramus.
Bot. Well, I will undertake it. What beard were I best to play it in?
Quin. Why what you will.
Bot. I will discharge it in either your straw-colour'd beard, your orange-tawny beard, your purple-in-grain beard, or your French-crown-colour'd beard, your perfect yellow. ”

“ Peter Quince.
Quin. What say'st thou, Bully Bottom?
Bot. There are things in this Comedy of Pyramus and Thisby, that will never please. First, Pyramus must draw a sword to kill himself, which the Ladies cannot abide. How answer you that?
Snout. By'rlaken, a parlous fear!
Starv. I believe we must leave the killing out, when all is done.
Bot. Not a whit; I have a device to make all well; write me a prologue, and let the prologue seem to say, we will do no harm with our swords, and that Pyramus is not kill'd indeed ”

“ Why then may you leave a casement of the great chamber window, where we play, open, and the moon may shine in at the casement.
Quin. Ay, or else one must come in with a bush of throns and a lanthern; and say he comes to disfigure or to present the person of moon-shine. Then there is another thing; we must have a wall in the great chamber, for Pyramus and Thisby (says the story) did talk through the chink of a wall.
Snug. You can never bring in a wall. What say you, Bottom?
Bot. Some man or other must present wall ”

“ Masters, you ought to consider with yourselves; to bring in, heaven shield us! a Lion among Ladies, is a most dreadful thing; for there is not a more fearful wildfowl than your Lion, living; and we ought to look to it.
Snout. Therefore another prologue must tell he is not a Lion. ”

“ Exit Oberon.
SCENE The Wood and Bower. Enter Queen of Fairies, Bottom; Fairies attending and the King behind them.
Queen. Come, sit thee down upon this flowery bed.
Say wilt thou hear some music sweet dove.
Bot. I have a reasonable good ear in music. ”