J. J. Bell

“ But at the time I didna perceive it, an' I jist said to her that takin' stoke was an invention of the d—evil yin, an'—"
"Every business man ought to take stock at least once a year," put in Miss Perk.
"That's true, ma'am, that's true. But it's a sair job when Providence has made ye a grocer. When Mistress Houston cam' into the shop I was gettin' dazed, an' I seemed to behold naethin' but lobsters an' vulgar fractions dancin' afore me. But in aboot twa meenits she had workit oot the calculation for me, an' I was masel' again! ”

“ I'm fur the beef. But ye best come roon an' gether up yer tins. Some of them's no' that bashed, an' ye'll maybe be able to pass them aff on some o' yer customers."
"Weel," said Mr. Ogilvy, as he came round from behind the counter, "I'll gi'e ye the twa for ninepence, an' I'll no' tak' a farden mair."
"I doot ye 're on the road to ruin," she observed, and proceeded to help him to collect the tins and set them together in an orderly pile. "A man never losses his temper wi'oot lossin' somethin' else," she remarked, sagely. ”

“ I never seen a man as vexed as David. An' he disna want to frichten her, either."
"That's terrible!" said Mr. Ogilvy, sympathetically. "She maun be made to tak' care o' hersel'. Does she no' understaun hoo weel her man's daein'? Ye sud tell her aboot the store. I wasna gaun to tell David, for he'll likely get the offeecial intimation the morn. But guid news is better nor meddicine, ye ken. Tell her, Mistress Wallace."
"I'll dae that. But Jess has a great notion in her young heid—I'll tell ye aboot it some day—an' she canna help strivin' fur it.... ”

“ Then the grocer drew himself up with a smile of satisfaction. "Thenk ye, ma'am, for tellin' me. It's jist as I suspected. Yer cook, puir buddy, wasna used to ma eggs. The freshness wud be strange to her. There's a great difference at ween an egg laid at a distance an' an egg laid locally, as it were. Wull I no' jist send ye hauf a dizzen, ma'am?"
"Not to-day, thank you," Miss Perk returned. ”

“ Ogilvy after a short pause, "eggs is things that nae human bein' can guarantee, an' I'm no' gaun to perjure masel' wi' sayin' that I never had the misfortune to sell a dootfu' yin; but I wud jist like to ask ye if yer cook is new to Kinlochan, ma'am." ”

“ Dobbie's houses?"
"No' bein' a soothsayer, as it were, ma'am, I wudna like to express masel' in sic a definite fashion," said Mr. Ogil- vy, fearing that possibly he was already expressing himself too freely. "But whatever they dae, it 'll be fair. Marmalade's no' the only guid thing that comes oot o' Paisley. An' so ye needna fash yersel' aboot David Houston an' his guid wife, ma'am, if ye 'll alloo me the leeberty o' sayin' it."
Miss Perk smiled the least bit unpleasantly. "You seem to have an extensive knowledge of what passes in the district, Mr. Ogilvy," she remarked. ”

“ I I dinna deserve to be peyed for them, onywey. Miss Perk was maybe no' as bad as I thocht she was, an' nae doot Mistress Wallace was richt aboot her. ... An' it's no' for Samuel Ogilvy to think evil o' onybody that's fond o' Jess Houston.... ”

“ It's a peety I weeghed them oot, but she aye liket to see her groceries weeghed. Oh, me! some leddies is ill to dae wi'!... But I'm gaun to ma tea on Friday nicht! That's whaur the siller linin' comes in! 'Deed, ay! ”