P. G. Wodehouse

“ But if you can, so much the better. Money is always useful.”
“I may be a fool in some ways——”
“You understate it, my dear Spennie.”
“But I'm not a cad.”
“You're getting quite rosy, Spennie. Wrath is good for the complexion.”
“And if you think you can bribe me to do your dirty work, you never made a bigger mistake in your life.”
“Yes, I did,” said Wesson, “when I thought you had some glimmerings of intelligence. But if it gives you any pleasure to behave like the juvenile lead in a melodrama, by all means do. Personally, I shouldn't have thought the game would be worth the candle. ”

“ In the seclusion of his bedroom, he sat down to smoke a last cigarette and think the thing over in all its aspects, He could see no way out of his difficulties. The thought had something of the dull persistency of a toothache. ”

“ Wesson lit a cigarette, and threw the match out of the window before replying.
“Look here, Spennie,” he said, “I want to marry Miss McEachern.”
Spennie was in no mood to listen to the love affairs of other men.
“Oh!” he said.
“Yes. And I want you to help me.”
“Help you?”
“You must have a certain amount of influence with her. She's your sister.”
“Stepsister.”
“Same thing.”
“Well, anyhow, it's no good coming to me. Nobody's likely to make Molly do a thing unless she wants to. I couldn't, if I tried for a year. ”