Payson Sibley Wild

“ The sky was ez black ez one o’ Bill’s blots
When over a letter he muddles;
An’ the win’ blow’d a blast, an’ the rain fell fast,
An’ the groun’ was a huddle o’ puddles.
Thet was yistiddy, pard; but terday, by Joel,
It’s Aprul excep’ fer the leaves;
They’re a copper an’ green with a pigeony sheen,
An’ a red like our Heryford beeves.
Mos’ potes will all spring suthin’ on ye ’bout russet,
An’ ox-blood, an’ fawn, an’ maroon;
But they never was here in the “yeller an’ sere”,
An’ reality aint in the’r toon. ”

“ A rabbit knows more ’bout terbacker ’n yew
Compared ter me.” “W’y, Bill, I never seen
Ye smoke,” I sez, “nor chaw, in all these years.”
“Wal, that don’t mean,” he sez, “’t I never did.
When I was a young feller, I begun
Ter smoke an’ chaw like all the other han’s,
Only I done it more ’n they did. I’d hev
Ter hev my chaw ez soon ez I was out
O’ bed, an’, ’cept at meals, I chawed all day
An’ part the night, an’ smoked the rest the time.
I’ve woke up many nights an’ lit a pipe.
Ez time went on I kep’ a-gittin’ wuss.
Laury, she said my mouth was like a sewer
When ’t wa’n’t a fact’ry chimbley ”

“ The’r soul’s the’r own, an’ Bill he’s that ’a’ way.
I never seen a feller thet could git
Away with sech a everlastin’ lot
O’ beatin’ round the bush an’ dodgin’ ’s Bill.
W’y, he aint sure o’ heaven or hell, or enny
O’ them things fokes knows mostly all about.
’F I ast ’im if they’s “cats” in Four Mile, “Wal,”
He’d say—an’ mebbe Laury’d jes’ be’n cleanin’
A mess he’d ketched thet day—“they git ’em thar,
So I’ve heerd tell, but I dunno’s they is,
An’ dunno as they is.” An’ when I ’low
It looks right smart like rain, Bill squints aroun’
An’ sez he shouldn’t wonder whether ’t did
Or not. ”

“ An’ give ’em fits, an’ then go ’long an’ plunk
His carcuss on some other one; an’ then
We’d git the hull dum show all over ’gin.
Wal, me an’ Bill was watchin’ on ’em quar’l
An’ slowly qui’tin’ down. ’T was one them nights—
Yew’ve saw ’em, co’se, ef yew was country raised—
A leetle tinge o’ red left in the west,
When yew kin still set out without a coat,
An’ yit yer sort o’ glad when yew come in
An’ find the lamp’s het up the room. Yew felt
Thet Fallish dreaminess thet ain’t like May’s,
When Nacher’s takin’ off ’er overalls,
But ain’t quite done with cleanin’ up the ruck. ”

“ I was drinkin’ in the glory on a day
Late in May,
Feelin’ dreamy an’ delishus, like a chick’n,
When she’s pick’n
Tiny pebbles out o’ gravel, or a-fluffin’
An’ a-puffin’
All her feathers in a sunny nest o’ dust ”

“ Tho’ she knowed well enough thet a Hunter’s Moon
Don’t never mean nuthin’ ’cept ’possum or coon.
I’ve heerd tell o’ moonlights on earth here an’ thar,
In Venice, an’ down in ol’ Rome’s Colyseum; [Pg 20]
But gim me the light of our lunary star
When dew turns ter di’monds in Frost’s jubileum;
When the ’simmons is ripe, an’ not a leaf stirs,
An’ the fiel’s is jes’ drownded in silvery blurs!
We was strollin’ ’long “Four Mile” when suddenly Jess
With a sharp, quick yelp shot off threw the bresh.
Jehosaphat, pard, I gotta confess
How a houn’ dawg’s tonguin’ will quicken the flesh! ”

“ But ’pears ter me it’s—what’s thet word? I seen
It t’other day an’ looked it up—O yes,
It’s atrofide.... We gotta train ri’ down
Ter razor-backs afore we’re enny good ....
We’re all tew pussy ’n’ prizey ’n’ prosp’rus like
Ter tech a wil’cat even with a fork....
’F a hoss hez won blue ribbons to a fair,
He prob’ly caint kick ha’f so long ’z a scrub [Pg 55]
Thet’s hard ez nails an’ workin’ ev’ry day....
An’ then agin I think we’re like “Ol’ Ben”;
Yew ’member him—ez gentle ez a kitten,
An’ big an’ fat, good-natured, easy goin’,
Tho’ onct ’n a while they’s fire in ’is eye. ”

“ I s’pose yew’ve noticed lots o’ fokes, when one
The fambly’s daid, sez funny things about
’Im—funny ’cos yew knowed the one diseased
Yerself, an’ seen right thru their line o’ talk.
I like ter weigh fokes on a human scale,
Daid or alive. It ain’t onkind ter size
’Em up fer what they was, onless they’s jes’
Plain or’n’ry trash, an’ then it ain’t wuth w’ile;
I’d ruther keep my mouth shet ’n’ let ’em go. [Pg 35]
But reely human fokes thet hez good p’ints
An’ bad all mixed tergether—like Seth was—
I cain’t see why we try ter make ’em out
Ez hevin’ be’n perfecshun; ’tain’t the trewth. ”

“ Hez here an’ thar got grounded,
An’ almos’ everything thet’s in it
Looks ’zac’ly like ’t was drownded.
Fokes yuseter say it’s jes’ thet crooked
Yew couldn’t cross the crick
’Thout findin’ yew was whar ye started—
But thet’s lay’n ’t on tew thick.
I wan’ ter tell ye tho’ they’s somepin’
’Bout this ’ere Skillet “river”
Right naow in Aprul time thet gives ye
A reel poetic shiver.
Them gums an’ water-oaks an’ hick’ries,
Thet grows along its aidges, [Pg 6]
Is jes’ alive with leafy swellin’s,
Fur Spring’s a-keep’n’ ’er plaidges! ”

“ Wal, he’d stew an’ sw’ar,
An’ kick the dawg, an’ onct he said he’s goin’
Ter quit an’ jes’ go off—but knowed he wouldn’t.
Almiry’d cry an’ Seth would cuss, an’ then
They’d shet the’r lips an’ never say a word
Fer mebbe quite a spell, when suthin’ funny
(It might ’a’ be’n most ennything) would up
An’ happen; Seth would snort, Almiry’d giggle,
An’ thet would end his moodin’. That ’ar way
O’ doin’ ’s a hull lot better, ’pears ter me,
Then fer a man ter never hev no chanct
Ter hev a mood, ’f ’e wants ter, ’n know ’t will prob’ly
Work out all right somehow. ”

“ Yew know I come
From down Mizzoura way. My Paw’s relidjun
Was votin’ demicratic ev’ry chanct
He got, an’ never nothin’ else. I reck’n
I kind o’ got thet feel myself, an’ no
Amount o’ reason ’pears ter knock it out.
I’ve heerd the argyments from A to Izzard,
An’ reely, I’ll admit I ain’t no use
Fer empty words an’ hifalutin’ guff
’Bout war prosperity, humanity,
An’ stuff like thet, an’ layin’ down like pups
When some one hollers loud an’ suddin like.
But when I think o’ Paw, an’ Colonel Sims,
An’ all them early days at Gravel Point—
Wal, I’m agin what I am for, that’s all! ”

“ We plug ter drink o’ life ez deep ’s we kin,
But what we git is mos’ly fizz.”
“I reck’n they want us up ’t the house,” I sez,
The hair a-risin’ from my neck,
F’r I’d saw thet stalk wave all its arms an’ nod,
An’ knowed Bill hed the dope correc.’
[Pg 75]
XXIV
The Labor Situation
“Don’t hardly seem fair,” said Bill with a hitch
Tew his gallus—the other was busted—
“Fer the papers an’ all, the public an’ sich”—
An’ I seen he was kind o’ disgusted—
“Ter praise up the workers ter home an’ not fitin’
An’ gittin’ all kinds o’ big pay,
An’ ’en strikin’ fer more—Whoa thar! ”

“ It seems ter be the human lot o’ man
Onct in a while ter hev a day
When ev’rything goes wrong, an’ nary plan
Works out at all in enny way.
It’s sure the stranges’ thing how succumstances
At times combines ter git yer goat;
When grinnin’ Fate jes’ mocks at ye, an’ dances
’Ter jangled fiddlin’ on one note.
Wal, thet’s how ’twas the time Bill hed ’is “risin’;” ”

“ Dast git up clost ter watch ’em fight it out....
Ol’ Ben was stannin’ kind o’ groggy when
I come ter git ’im, ’n’ ev’ry little while
He’d stop an’ paw an’ beller ’n’ lick ’is flank
Like he’d be’n hit right smart; but he was all
Right thar, ’n’ I hed ter laff.... They brung a pair
O’ hosses up an’ hauled the other beast
Somew’eres.... We never hed no better bull
Then Ben was after thet; he wouldn’t look
Fer trubble, an’ somehow ’r ’nother trubble seemed
Ter not be look’n’ fer him. It done ’im good,
We thought, an’ thet’s my idee ’bout this war.”
“But how ’bout Lon,” I sez, “ef war should come?” ”

“ Ter look whar Lon hed carved ’is ’nishuls on
A crib door slat.... It give me ’n awful thump
Inside ter see how sort o’ closter Bill
An’ Laury was; she hed ter lean on him, [Pg 78]
An’—God, I tell ye he was suthin’ wuth
A-leanin’ on, a human staff o’ oak.
Yew ’member them blue little lakes or ponds—
Most ev’r’y country deestric’ hez ’em—whar
Fokes sez they ain’t no bottom tew ’em ’t all,
Nobody never reeched it tho’ they’d tried
Fer years an’ years with ev’ry kind o’ line?
Wal, thet’s the way Bill’s eyes looked at ye then:
Great dep’s o’ shinin’ feelin’, purplish blue ”

“ Wal, I begun ter color up, until
I looked some ’ut like summer crook-necks dew
Dead-ripe in August. Appetite ’bout gone,
An’ nervous ez a new-broke colt hitched up
Ter plow. An’ still I chawed an’ smoked an’ chawed,
An’ couldn’t seem ter git enough. Black Twist
Ter me was like a peece o’ straw ter yew.
I scoured the kentry stores; the strongest brands
Would satisfy no more ’n molasses would.
O’ co’se yew understand I wa’n’t no slave
Ter thet thar weed; I only hed ter hev it,
That’s all. (They’s fokes ’at thinks they ain’t no diff’runce
Atween them two idees; we know they is.) ”

“ Yew know thet somp’n still kin spile thet crop.
’F a farmer wants ter gamble, he don’t hev
Ter speckerlate on ’Change; I should say not;
Jes’ let ’im farm it, plain an’ orn’ry farm it—
Thet’s all he’s gotta dew. I’ll bet ye’n less
’N a fortnit he’d be plum dead sure ’t ’is chances
Fer buy’n’ a kerosene kerridge playin’ faro
Was ten ter one agin the farmin’ game.
Naow jes’ consider what the farmer’s got
Ter fight; they’s tew much rain or not enough;
’F ’e ’s got a crick, ’t will overflow an’ drownd
’Is corn, or else ’t will be a ditch o’ dust ”

“ Fer them pigs was mean custumers, give ’em a chance,
An’ a boar with ’is tushes could rip up yer pants
A dum sight more quicker ’n a pirate crew,
An’ ’e’d take a hull lot o’ yer leg with it tew.
One time they’s a feller was huntin’ ’is pork
Somewhar over yender not fur from the Fork. ”

“ Yew’re like a tired enjin’, ’cos yer didn’t sleep right well,
But say—that breakfas’ waitin’ thar inside!
It’s wonderful what eatin’ will dew ter set ye right;
It’s one the things ’bout farmin’ ’t nothin’ beats;
Yew get all riled fer sweatin’ ’ithout a break in sight,
But—yew fergit it when it’s time fer eats.
Now toast an’ egg an’ coffee’s ’bout all the av’rage feller
Kin eat fer breakfas’ in a swelt’rin’ town;
But gosh all blinkin’ blazes, yew ain’t no clerk nor teller,
Yew gotta hev reel feed, an’ wash it down. [Pg 30]
So in yew go t’ the kitchen, a room o’ quite some size ”

“ An’ nigh screeched all the’r haids off ez they run
In ev’ry which way, ’n’ yew’d ’a’ tho’t the hull
Dum works was bust. But Bill he only grinned;
He knowed what ’Viny hed, fer he hed heerd
The pos’man’s car come chuggin’ up an’ stop
To our front gate. (Bill didn’t hev ter look,
Fer he kin sense by lis’nen’ ev’ry car
Thet goes by reg’lar—knows ’em by the’r rattle.)
“... D’ye notice, Laury, ’pears ter me like this
Envelop ’s be’n a-monkeyed with somehow ”

“ Sence ’sixty-nine, but sez he’s goin’ ter vote
Agin th’ administration ’cos he jes’
Caint stand fer no ameeba (mebbe yew
Know what thet is) fer president. An’ then
Thar’s Peleg Towle ’at runs the paper here—
Oak-ribbed republican sence I dunno—
He sez we’d orter be almity glad
We ain’t ter war, an’ he do’ want no ice-berg
A-settin’ on no Congress’ back door steps
A-try’n’ ter hatch no batch o’ tory laws! [Pg 42]
Wal, thar ye be; it’s julluk thet all ’round;
A feller’s looks don’t give away ’is vote. ”

“ Sich a foolish world fer sweatin’ an’ a-swinkin’,
An’ a-thinkin’
Thet a feller hez ter rustle an’ be snappy
Tew be happy.
’Twas a nawful loafy mornin’—tell ye thet—
An’ I set
Watchin’ ev’ry livin’ critter feel ’is oats. ”

“ Wal, boys, here we be.”
[Pg 37]
XII
The Katydid
Skeeters pest’rin’,
Bites a-fest’rin’,
Merc’ry ninety-four;
Feelin’ groggy,
Piller soggy,
Makes me tur’bel sore.
Rollin’, groanin’,
Tossin’, moanin’,
Hotter ’n eggs a-fryin’;
Houn’ dawg yellin’,
Jack-ass hellin’,
Little Willy cryin’.
Nerves a-tingle;
Ev’ry single
Nightish critter tootin’;
Hosses champin’,
Cattle stampin’,
Even stars a-shootin’!
Air is deader
Than a medder
Whar they’s be’n a fire
East all smoky,
Moon-rise poky—
Julluk out o’ mire. [Pg 38]
Night’s a horrer ”