Rudolf von Gottschall

“ A proud sensation of happiness overcame her; the dream of a peaceable existence, of ensured happiness, hovered before her mind, then her hand was pressed convulsively to her heart; painfully she felt the rift that extended through her whole life--that she always experienced, even although concealed from her lover and the world, but which, when it suddenly yawned, became an abyss which must swallow up all her felicity.
She could only listen absently to Beate's chatter, "I must say it is a true Palazzo Pitti, in which we, however, are the most beautiful pictures! ”

“ Giulia hid her face as she drew back.
"Yet do not believe that it is the same old love, as beneath Italy's orange and myrtle trees when you were my Madonna, when my heart beat for you, when I looked up to you as to a queen of heaven floating amid a bright halo. And even then, when you parted from me as from one unworthy who might not follow in the ascending paths of your life, even in the desolate existence that I led, still I always looked up as one looks up at a heavenly orb through a crevice in a grotto. ”

“ Olga has left us, you have remained true to me, you shall not suffer for it. Verily, I am not Blanden's inferior in courage, and yet that duel has given me much to think about. He offered up his life for his beloved one's good name. I cannot, I must not, look on and see them insult you. Blanden has often already said so. I would not believe it; to-day I see it with my own eyes. No, no, no! He was right, ten times right! I may sacrifice myself to my convictions, but not a girl who loves me! ”

“ Giulia possessed the lightheadedness of an actress; in glad emotions she forgot everything which at other times might depress her, she imbibed forgetfulness and courage with the sparkling froth of the champagne. Then, when her countenance brightened, a slight colour suffused it as she smiled and joked, and gave herself up to a genial actress' mood, which owes its birth to a rich treasury of recollections; then only her beauty, which until now had but inspired cold admiration, warmed all hearts, and Blanden was deemed fortunate to have won so beautiful a wife. ”

“ How melancholy to drive over these plains of ice, through the snow-laden pine forests, through these districts where sleepy Nature never seems to open her eyes, how terribly wearisome all the world here appears to one! And those passengers in mail coaches, those Polish Jews, those people from the small towns with their boxes, their baggage, their stupid faces! Thus it went on night and day, day and night. People have given themselves the trouble to find names for all these heaths, these towns through which one drives, and yet one looks like another, it is most immaterial what they are called! ”

“ I have friends to whom the Italian sing-song is objectionable, and who prefer a German drinking song to any aria. We will work for you, Fräulein Baute; a cavalier who makes so little of a rendezvous as this Herr von Blanden is rightly served when his night-light is blown out."
"What you say, dear Herr Doctor," said Lori, "is most objectionable in tone and manner, and really not calculated for a girl's ears. I will forget it. As to the rest, you have the right to think a singer as bad as you choose! You belong to the public, and the public is sovereign." ”

“ It was miserable, full of thoughts which grasp a world to be hurled to the ground by a piece of rattling metal, which pierces one in rapid flight, which even an old decayed tree stem can defy; it was too wretched to lie here bedded in the snow like any crow shot down from the grey wintry sky by the sportsman's gun, so that the wings of the mind hang down paralysed and dead for evermore, like the wings of the hideous bird which just now croaked so loudly for prey and food. ”

“ All nature shudders, as if renouncing every happiness.
But, no! One heart there is that beats anxiously for you; two eyes which already dedicate scalding tears to the dark possibility that menaces you; there, indeed, is life and happiness, and from these it is that you must part.
As is the case in all moments of most supreme tension, Blanden's mind saw such pictures and thoughts pass before him with a certain rigidity, and only awoke again as Kuhl pressed the pistols into his hand. ”

“ A craving for happiness has come over me, so intense as to strain every nerve in my bosom. A glance at the smiling horizon brightens our souls--and yet tears stand in our eyes. We weep with a prescience of happiness which nevertheless appears to be unattainable. I do not know why the pictures of my life crowd like feverish visions around me. I seem to hear the sound of bells in the days of my childhood; I see myself, dressed, go with the other children over high hills to the pilgrims' chapel ”

“ I was not alone here; was I in the power of an invisible enemy; or did a spectre persecute me?
"I put my hand out behind; I grasped the empty air; the hand had released my dress; I cried in a strong voice, so as to inspire myself with courage, 'Who is here?' But nothing replied, excepting one loud echo from the walls of the empty church.
"Nevertheless my heart is full of courage, and I said to myself, why this fear and alarm? What concerns you is that you have pledged your honour to save your friend; now see that you succeed whether you live or die, even if hell send its ghosts against you! ”

“ No, it was the storm which had risen, sweeping through the tops of the pines, and stirring up the waves of the northern water mirror.
Fancy often erects a bridge of dreams from one summit of life to another, and deep below in oblivion lie all its other paths.
Giulia was absorbed in a vision, in a self-delusion; the pictures of the past and present became mixed up, but the confusion was agonising; her hand trembled in Blanden's. ”

“ But, with a feeling of perfect helplessness and internal indignation, Giulia stood defenceless before the raging mob. With the rapidity of lightning the pictures of a whole life-time passed before her mind: she saw the joyful movement of a crowd of people coming exultantly towards her, as she had seen it in Florence, Barcelona, London and even here! What evil demon had metamorphosed the public into a rage-foaming monster! Yet over her career as an actress writhed one widespread shadow, as if beneath a scorching blast her laurel wreaths withered, her future was destroyed. ”

“ What a sensation of security behind the stout walls of this Castle; for decades, for a whole life-time, every struggle with its necessities was banished, a life belonging to itself, one not given up to the mob! And how one must learn to love every little spot of earth which, by the habit of long association and possession, has become a portion of ourselves! Without, the trees rustled, the eastern sky glanced in the reflection of the declining sun, and the evening star, the star of love, peeped forth in the vapour-like clouds that were tinged with a delicate red. ”

“ And Baluzzi pulled out a pistol.
"Beate sleeps in the second room," said Giulia, "she does not hear us! We will not excite ourselves--one calm word! An unhappy fate has brought us together, it should never have happened. Our paths led far asunder, but the indissoluble bond remains; it is cruel to tie up my soul with it, it is indissoluble there, indissoluble also for me here, because I dare not venture forth with this life-long lie, without forfeiting my future happiness. ”

“ Therefore will I, my lotus-flower, kiss the tears from your cheeks, as King Duschmanta kissed his regained beloved one."
"Then, I will belong only and wholly to you," cried Giulia, amid kisses and embraces, "and even the fame which I conquered shall fade away like visions in the air."
"I feel better every day," said Blanden, "I shall soon go to Kulmitten, and make all preparations for our marriage." ”

“ Kuhl sat in the stalls beside his Cäcilie, who now appeared to be inseparable from him, and near poet Schöner.
"Something is going on," said the Doctor to his younger friend, "people are not in a pleasant mood. Nothing can be so little counted upon as the public. And what is it really? It is only a shadow, a spectre, as little tangible as the old ocean god Proteus, and, if one would hold it fast, it assumes all colours and shapes. The public of to-day is no longer that of yesterday; the crowd which is afterwards dispersed through the streets, is no longer the same which is assembled here. ”

“ It would be too cheap a mode of regaining one's lost honour if it were only necessary to burn powder in the pan."
"We often long to punish an enemy," said Blanden, "and there is no other suitable method than that of standing before him with sword or pistol in one's hand. Hatred and enmity cannot be eradicated, and such silently nourished ill-will, such Platonic hatred, as people might term it, gnaws at one's vitals, just as does Platonic love. Every passion must obtain satisfaction, therefore the world has produced swords and pistols." ”

“ As in a dream, Blanden saw the colossal officer step before him. He hated the man until that moment, then he was seized as with pity for such a sensual life, and then, again, with a change of thought, quick as lightning, his mind flew to recollections of his school days, and he thought of Homer and the Bible, which tell so accurately how many feet of earth such a mighty man covered in his fall. ”

“ Rather than rest in your arms, rather than follow you and obey that vile control which your right and will exercise, rather would I fall crushed upon my knees before every one, confess the incredible, pray for mercy, and then seek and find death. You know me! I dare do much, I dare do what is unheard of! With bold hand I will rob myself of my own happiness. He who dares that is prepared for all! Beside the summit there is an abyss and no other path--least of all no other path in common with you!"
Giulia's wild determination made an impression upon Baluzzi ”

“ With a loud cry, Giulia sank into the sofa cushions.
"Well, then, I congratulate you upon the Polter-abend," [1] said Buschmann scornfully, as he turned upon his heels and left the room amid the clatter of his spurs.
"What have you done?" said Giulia, as she gazed at Blanden with large tearful eyes, her hand raised as if in protest, and sobbing with internal agitation.
"I will protect you against all the world," cried Blanden with, overwhelming emotion, "my Giulia, my betrothed!" ”

“ Giulia was intensely excited at her friend's intelligence, amid tears she squeezed Beate's hands. And yet she could not conquer an internal fear. Thus breaking into the sanctuary of the church seemed like an inexpiable act of sacrilege which rested upon her soul; and even if she believed in the newly-gained liberty she could not feel glad. Anxious forebodings of unknown possibilities that lay waiting in the air disturbed her confidence in unclouded happiness. What secrets oppressed her soul! How could she meet her beloved one's eye? ”

“ Did not smiling Euphrosyne cast roses into her lap, as the goddess stood beside victory upon her car of triumph, decking her with laurels? How many phenomena of theatrical fame do but shine through a dim vapour which the repute of their evil habits of life spreads around them, and it was not Blanden's intention to guide one of these beauties, weary of adventures, into a haven of refuge. ”

“ Cartridge upon cartridge blazed across; wounded and dying leaned against the tall stems of the beeches, and the down crashing branches decked these pale brows as if with a homely wreath of honour, upon which trickled the cold drops of death.
Already Blanden saw the smoking furnaces of the foundry before him; there a flash quivers through the cloud of vapour; in conical flight the birds of death swept through, on right and left, fell into the trees, here and there penetrated the earth, struck the companions by his side, and stretched Blanden himself on the ground. ”

“ The Chinese pavilion on the island in the lake, and the bridge leading to it shone in the gayest reflection of lights. In the hot-houses a splendid group of southern plants, laurels, and myrtles, under the feathery shelter of a pine, gleamed in the radiance of coloured lamps, but most beautiful of all was a red fir outside, decked with ribbons and flags, and when the guests came up to it they were magically illuminated with a flaming red light. Giulia squeezed Blanden's hand. ”

“ The heavy weight that lies in the consciousness of forbidden deeds, did not permit her to draw that free breath without which success loses its triumphant charms. And yet--she was resolved to seize the supremest bliss in life in spite of fate, to set the right of her passion above all the rights in the world. Was her happiness only transitory? She must do penance and succumb; at any rate, that which she now struggled for with such ardent longing would once have been her own.
Beate had not been back many days before Blanden's invitation to Kulmitten was received. ”

“ Cäcilie began to sob, and with clenched hands Kuhl sprang up from the table, as though he would call an opponent out to battle.
"You cannot protect me as Blanden protected his beloved, with a pistol in his hand: outlaw and excommunication hover over me, but such things cannot be touched; they only keep watch in the air, they are only written on countenances, in gestures--and not men accustomed to battle are they who carry out this excommunication; they are women and girls, the guardians of propriety who only pierce a heart with pins." ”