Holden

“ Holden sat silent on the couch thinking of the future, and his thoughts were not pleasant. The drawbacks of a double life are manifold. The Government, with singular care, had ordered him out of the station for a fortnight on special duty in the place of a man who was watching by the bedside of a sick wife. The verbal notification of the transfer had been edged by a cheerful remark that Holden ought to think himself lucky in being a bachelor and a free man. He came to break the news to Ameera. ”

“ It was, perhaps, this latent apprehension of his fitness to appear in the world—an apprehension, however, only dimly cognizable by himself—that induced Holden to seek the companionship of Pownal. With these feelings, and believing he might be of advantage to this strange man, for whom this new development awakened additional interest in his mind, Armstrong offered to be his companion, in the search for his son; but, to his surprise, his offer was hastily rejected.
"No," said Holden; "it befitteth not. Stay, to take care of Faith. ”

“ But doth a sparrow fall to the ground without His knowledge, and are not ye of more value than many sparrows, oh, ye of little faith? Shall not the sorrows of fathers move the heart of the universal Father?"
It is scarcely to be expected that the young man entirely understood the rhapsody of Holden, though familiar with his moods. ”

“ Holden found one helpless little hand that closed feebly on his finger. And the clutch ran through his body till it settled about his heart. Till then his sole thought had been for Ameera. He began to realise that there was some one else in the world, but he could not feel that it was a veritable son with a soul. ”

“ John Holden was lost. His mother’s faith that God would take care of her boy was rewarded, however, when it was discovered that John with his little fife was helping to drill the soldiers in Washington’s army.
MORE than a hundred years ago there lived, in the town of Shirley, Mass., a bright, well-grown lad named John Holden. His father was a farmer, and the little fellow trudged about the farm, clad in home-spun and home-made clothing, feeding calves, driving cows, and doing whatever his hands found to do “with all his might.” ”

“ As children instinctively know those who love them, so must Holden have originally had some idea of the feelings of Faith, and by it been drawn closer to her. Certainly, there was no one in whose society he took more pleasure, or whom he was more desirous to please.
At this stage of the conversation, the door opened, and Mr. Armstrong entered. He advanced to Holden, whose hand he took, and welcomed with much cordiality. It was no new thing for him to see the Recluse in his parlor. His daughter's partiality he well knew, of course ”

“ Was he afraid of a companionship that might drag him down and entangle him in the meshes of a predestined wretchedness? He is right, thought Armstrong. He sees the whirlpool into which, if once drawn, there is no escape from destruction.
Holden succeeded better in communicating a portion of his confidence to Pownal. In the morning of life, before experience has dimmed our sky with clouds, we readily perceive the sun of joy. The bright eyes of youth catch his rays on the mountain tops, before the drooping lids of age are raised from the ground. ”

“ Pownal felt some curiosity respecting the impression which would be made by the turmoil of a large city upon one who for so many years had excluded himself from the crowded haunts of men, and therefore watched his companion with no little interest; but Holden, as if he divined his thoughts, and was displeased at the discovery, or for some other unknown reason, betrayed no change of feeling, or conduct, but was as impassive and indifferent to all passing around him as if he were in his own hut. ”

“ For the young man was himself a nobleman of nature, who had inherited some of the romance of his father, and, indeed, in whom were slumbering, unconsciously to himself, many traits of character like those of the father, and which needed only opportunity to be developed.
The first words Holden uttered, after recovering from his emotion sufficiently to speak, were:
"Lord! now let thou thy servant depart, for mine eyes have seen thy salvation." ”

“ There was a slight, a very slight, an almost imperceptible tone of irony about the words, which did not escape the sensitive ear of Holden. He turned towards Bernard, and fastened his large eyes upon him, in silence, awhile, before he said:
"The secret of politeness is to be found in warmth and goodness of heart. Flame blazes not up from ice." The words, the tone, the look, conveyed his estimate of the character of the young man, and was not without influence on one, at least, of his auditors. ”

“ Those who have reached that stage in sweetness and love, who can change their winter into a gentle Indian summer, have come as victors through the ordeal of life. Lady Holden was a small, alert woman, with a kindly eye, and her expression as she glanced at him was a certificate of character to her husband. And yet, though I read a mutual love in their glances, I read also a mutual horror, and recognized in her face some reflection of that stealthy fear which I detected in his. ”

“ This was done with so much ceremony and deliberation that Holden, who was all anxiety to secure the rescue of his mate, Knute, and to redeem his promise to his master, Parabaway, became very impatient. But when a little breeze now began to blow, and the order came from the captain to brace up the yards, he could no longer control himself. It seemed incredible that a man should be left, or that no attention should be paid to his representations about the natives. ”

“ Then there came other men. First was a Professor Harold White from the State Board of Education who came to study both Holden and Holden's machinery and what it did. Next came a Dr. Persons who said very little but made diagrams and histograms and graphs which he studied. The third was a rather cheerful fellow called Jack Cowling who was more interested in James Holden's personal feelings than he was in the machine. He studied many subjects superficially and watched the behavior of young Holden as Holden himself studied subjects recommended by Professor White. ”

“ Why is my soul cast down, and why do I feel like one who stumbles towards a pit? Alas! my flesh quivers and my heart trembles at the thought of falling into His hands."
"It is prayer that opens heaven," said Holden. "If thou wilt, we will unite our hearts in supplication. Peradventure the Lord may send a blessing."
A mute assent was the reply from Armstrong; the three knelt down together, and Holden poured out a prayer, into which he concentrated his glowing feelings. He described themselves as covered all over with crimes, like a leprosy; as willful and determined rebels ”

“ But then she would envy me! It is not seemly for men to worship a woman.”
91. Holden laughed aloud at Ameera’s little spasm of jealousy.
92. “Is it not seemly? Why didst thou not turn me from worship of thee, then?”
93. “Thou a worshipper! And of me? My king, for all thy sweet words, well I know that I am thy servant and thy slave, and the dust under thy feet. And I would not have it otherwise. See!”
94. Before Holden could prevent her she stooped and touched his feet; recovering herself with a little laugh she hugged Tota close to [Pg 168] her bosom. ”

“ HOLDEN, LUTHER (1815–1905) , surgeon, born on 11 Dec. 1816, in his grand-father's house at Birmingham, was second son of the Rev. Henry Augustus Holden (1785–1870) , who married his cousin Mary Willetts, daughter of Hyla Holden of Wednesbury in Staffordshire. His father, on retiring from the army with the rank of lieutenant, matriculated at Worcester College, Oxford, in 1814 (B.A. 1817) , and held the curacies of Wolstanton in Shropshire and of Warmington near Banbury, where he took pupils, but on being left a small fortune gave up his curacy and lived at Brighton and afterwards in London. ”

“ The musings of this solitary man in a boat with a company who might all be but corpses, on a tropical sea, and not knowing where he was going, could not be but strange, and Mr. Holden is either as good a romancer as the Lakeside bard, or the "Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner" has been equaled by sober fact. The night seemed the longest he had ever spent, even in the South Seas, and it almost needed the assurance of the dawn streaking up at last in the east that he was not himself the dying or dead. ”

“ Holden, during the conversation, had been unable to keep his seat, but with the restlessness of his nature had been walking across the room, stopping occasionally before Armstrong. The last expression of feeling evidently affected him. The rapidity of his steps diminished; his motions became less abrupt; and presently he laid his hand upon the shoulder of Mr. Armstrong.
"Thy tale," he said, "is one of sorrow and suffering. Thou didst violate thy duty, and art punished. No wrong shall escape the avenger. ”

“ Armstrong looked at Holden, with an expression like fear.
"Who is equal to these things?" said he.
"I knew a man once," said the Enthusiast, thinking of the peril he had just escaped, and darkly shadowing forth its circumstances, "whom a ravening lion sought to destroy, and the heart of the man sunk within him, for, in view of the beast, he forgot that the Lord God omnipotent reigneth, but an angel whispered it in his ear, and strengthened him, and he defied the lion, and smote him, and killed the lion. ”

“ Kind hearts are more than coronets,
And simple faith than Norman blood.
TENNYSON. The news of the discovery of the relationship between Holden and Pownal had reached Hillsdale before their arrival, and the friends and acquaintances of both, comprising pretty much the whole village, hastened to present their congratulations. Many supposed now they had obtained a clue to the singularities of the Solitary, and expected that since he had recovered his son, he would resume the habits of ordinary life. But nothing seemed further from Holden's intention. ”

“ Although my twenty-five-mile walk ended at the tenth in a rocking-chair, yet those ten miles were beautiful and full of glory.
"It will certainly kill you!" wailed the martyr as I bade her good-bye. "Oh, will it kill her?" echoed the poor little Captain, and lifted up her voice in lamentation as I vanished from her sight and struck for the bluff road. The morning was so beautiful that I could imagine the world nothing but a big bunch of tulips standing within a crystal vase in the sun. The maples glistened like gold, and were flecked with ruby drops that burned and glowed like spilled wine. ”

“ Holden struck at him with his now useless pistol as he landed. The blow missed, and, losing his balance, he staggered and fell, past his foe, who quickly turned, raising his bar for a coup de grace which never landed. The familiar flash of a pistol once more illuminated the scene, the bar dropped from dead hands, and Holden scrambled to his feet.
A voice was speaking through his suit phone, and he recognized it as Erickson's. "I just came to, tumbled out of that hole in the pilot room, saw the flash of your pistol, and here I am." ”

“ The half back Holden glanced dubiously at the goal line, sixty yards away. Quarter bent over the heaving line of dripping figures. Pandemonium broke out behind them from the coaches, led by Prince and Blanding.
"Keep your feet, Holden! Hold your feet!"
"Low—lower than that!"
"Put him down—block your man out there!"
"You gained two yards," said Hector icily, dragging Holden to his feet. "Remember this, young man—four times two yards isn't a first down. You've got to make three yards or more every time you start. Signal! Hurry up." ”

“ Holden went to his bungalow and began to understand that he was not alone in the world, and also that he was afraid for the sake of another,—which is the most soul-satisfying fear known to man. ”

“ The rains did not come, and the earth turned to iron lest man [Pg 180] should escape death by hiding in her. The English sent their wives away to the hills and went about their work, coming forward as they were bidden to fill the gaps in the fighting-line. Holden, sick with fear of losing his chiefest treasure on earth, had done his best to persuade Ameera to go away with her mother to the Himalayas. ”

“ The first shock of a bullet is no more than a brisk pinch. The wrecked body does not send in its protest to the soul till ten or fifteen seconds later. Holden realised his pain slowly, exactly as he had realised his happiness, and with the same imperious necessity for hiding all traces of it. In the beginning he only felt that there had been a loss, and that Ameera needed comforting where she sat with her head on her knees shivering as Mian Mittu from [Pg 173] the housetop called: Tota! Tota! Tota! Later, all his world and the daily life of it rose up to hurt him. ”

“ Ken Holden, you see, wanted to be an adult lion among the little monkeys, and you informed him that he was still an infant drawing sustenance from parental sources.
TED. [Sensing MARTIN'S friendliness approaches him like a friendless dog.] You understand, don't you, how he provoked me?
MARTIN. Perfectly.
TED. [Sees sketch.] Why, that's me you're drawing!
MARTIN. Glad you recognized it. Some people don't recognize themselves in profile.
TED. It's a good profile. The face is good.--But why the uniform?
MARTIN. Clothes make the man. I wanted to see if a uniform would make a soldier. ”

“ A visitor from Boston was at the farmhouse, and the talk, as usual, ran on the prospect of war in the colonies. During a pause in the conversation, Mr. Holden asked John to play something on the fife. When he had played a stirring march or two, the stranger exclaimed, “Upon my word! But the boy has the soul of music in him! He will be ready for the British bulls and lions when it is necessary.”
John sat quite still for some time. But before he [104] went to bed he went to his father and said, “Father, if the British do come, shall I go to war with my fife?” ”