if I'm not fair to other people, I'm not worth being understood myself.
 George MacDonald, The Princess and the Goblin (1872). copy citation

Context

“We are all very anxious to be understood, and it is very hard not to be. But there is one thing much more necessary.'
'What is that, grandmother?'
'To understand other people.'
'Yes, grandmother. I must be fair—for if I'm not fair to other people, I'm not worth being understood myself. I see. So as Curdie can't help it, I will not be vexed with him, but just wait.'
'There's my own dear child,' said her grandmother, and pressed her close to her bosom.
'Why weren't you in your workroom when we came up, grandmother?'” source

Meaning and analysis

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