John Henry, My Microphonic Début
“ And now, when I hear the young fellows swanking and telling their adventures and expatiating upon the many thrills that this life affords, I sit back and watch the blue smoke curling out of my pipe, and in a vision I see myself once again coming safely out of that most awesome of all ordeals—my début before the microphone. ”
John Henry, Christmas is Coming!
“ I've noticed that I always begin to get better-looking towards Christmas.She'll come to me and say, "John Henry, I've seen worse-looking men than you, after all. When you've got your hat on and you don't get the light on your face, you aren't so bad, considering," and then she'll give me advice about letting my hair grow long at the sides, and I can brush it over the top and people won't notice it much, and she'll tell me to get some stuff and rub it in night and morning, because perhaps the roots are still there. ”
John Henry, The Prize I Didn't Win
“ Well, by the time I'd got my breath back, she'd decided we were going to the seaside, so I said: "What about 'Erbert?" ('Erbert's our dog. We're both very fond of dogs. 'Erberts' a very curious dog. He thinks he's a collie, but he isn't. I think he's a cross between a skunk, a bloodhound, and a rabbit. He's at his best when he's at full cry down our street. When you tread on his tail, he's said to be in full cry. If ever I get all dolled np in my tennis clothes, 'Erbert always leaves a permanent stain on my trousers by sniffing at me with his cold, damp, objectionable nose.) ”
