John Henry

“ I've noticed that I always begin to get better-looking towards Christmas.
She'll come to me and say, "John Henry, I've seen worse-looking men than you, after all. When you've got your hat on and you don't get the light on your face, you aren't so bad, considering," and then she'll give me advice about letting my hair grow long at the sides, and I can brush it over the top and people won't notice it much, and she'll tell me to get some stuff and rub it in night and morning, because perhaps the roots are still there. ”

“ So then I asked her, "Why not get him or Christmas-tree?" I said this sarcastic, but she didn't take it that way, and now I've got to get a Christmas-tree and play Father Christmas for 'Erbert.
She hasn't told me what she wants for Christmas yet, but she did say she's going to buy me a pair of nice new curtains for the front room. Ah, well! I'd buy her a pipe, but I daren't.
It's a funny thing. I always manage to get into a bother at Christmas. One of my very earliest memories is of hanging my stocking up and my brother filling it with a cheerful mixture of cinders and cold porridge. ”

“ And then there was another time, when I thought my stocking wasn't big enough, so I tied up my pyjamas and hung those up, and in the morning I found my mother had put all the silver in, with some polish and a cloth, and I had to clean it all for being greedy. ”