A. B. Courtney

“ A happy marriage is without doubt the ideal state of living, the end for which mankind has always striven, while an unhappy marriage is a veritable hell on earth. Examples of both of these states need not be given. We see them every day. To one who reads the daily papers regularly with particular note of the records of divorces, assaults of drunken or jealous husbands, the faithlessness of women and the elopements, the thought must present itself that there are more unhappy marriages than happy ones. ”

“ Do you really, married or unmarried, know the full meaning of the word marriage. It is something far more serious than a mere civil contract or religious ceremony. These are only the marks of outward show. There is a good deal behind these—a good deal that you ought to know, and of which, perchance, you are ignorant. The aim of this article is to give some practical advice to those who have already entered into the bonds of matrimony, and it will not, it is hoped, come amiss to those about to marry, but who have not yet taken the step that leads to misery or bliss. ”

“ Seek always to please each other; lavish not your love to-day; remember that marriage has a morrow, and again a morrow.” Another writer on the same subject wisely says: “The happiness of married life depends on a power of making small sacrifices with readiness and cheerfulness. Few persons are ever called upon to make great sacrifices or to confer great favors; but affection is kept alive, and happiness secured, by keeping up a constant warfare against little selfishness.”
Jealousy.
It is said that jealousy is an unmistakable sign of true love. ”

“ Purpose of Marriage.
Marriage ought to be consummated as the result of mutual love and esteem, and not for the purpose of simply gratifying the desires of our lower nature. This last consideration is, it must be acknowledged, a controlling one with a great many people, and marriages contracted in this manner are not generally, and cannot hope to be, happy ones. The sacredness of the marriage relation ought never to be violated. We must not forget that we are rational beings with a will to withstand the weaknesses of our animal natures. ”

“ Husband and wife ought to maintain entire confidence in each other, have no secrets each from the other; don’t quarrel; have forbearance for each other’s failings; you have neither of you married an angel. Remember, husband, that of every dollar you own, fifty cents belongs to your wife; she is an equal partner with you in the business of life; don’t compel her to become a mere household drudge, working for her board and clothes ”

“ Exercise is one of the best means of preserving health. Care must be taken, however, that the exercise be of a kind and amount suitable to the needs of each person. Recreation, or a change of occupation (but never idleness) , is sufficient exercise for some people. But there is little recreation in a game of chess, for [13] instance, in the case of a man employed in a counting-room all day. His exercise should be taken out of doors, and be such as to free the mind from the exactions of business. The wealthy idler will find health in industry of some kind. ”

“ A young woman ought to learn the duties and pleasures of housekeeping as soon after marriage as possible. If she boards out, she has little to occupy her time, and is apt to pass her days in reading silly novels, or to fall into that terrible habit of gossiping. She ought to find pleasure in working for her husband, and she can work for him best only in her own home, preparing his meals and by the performance of other wifely duties. ”

“ All but babies have too little sleep. Everybody ought to get at least eight hours’ sleep in a day. Insanity often results from want of sleep. Always sleep on the right side, never on the back. Always breathe through the nose when asleep or awake. Never have a fire in your sleeping-room, unless you are an invalid. The need of cleanliness, pure air, pure water, sunshine and a cheerful disposition, etc., are too well known to need insisting upon here. These are necessary for the preservation of health, and without health there can be no real happiness. ”

“ Jealousy, such as that which is said to [12] be an infallible sign of true love, is exhibited chiefly by silly young women, married and single, who have no serious grounds for suspicion against the object toward which their jealousy is directed. If you are of an incurably jealous disposition, never marry any one of the opposite sex who is good looking. This will only add fuel to the fires of your jealousy. Marry a homely person—the homelier the better—one who is not likely to receive undesirable attentions from the opposite sex after marriage. ”

“ A mother-in-law, however good her intention may be (and no doubt her intentions are always good) , is pretty sure to prove meddlesome and dictatorial to a greater or less degree, and end by being an element of discord in what ought to be a happy home. ”

“ Only the weakest are the most jealous. But the “green-eyed” monster has caused too much misery to treat the matter lightly. Where mutual love and respect and perfect confidence exist, and where the married parties are sensible, intellectual people, jealousy rarely exists. ”

“ Give her money enough to dress well, even if you have to make sacrifices to do so.
Treat her mother with becoming respect.
Marrying for a Home.
A good many women are foolish enough and dishonorable enough to marry merely for a home—foolish because they cannot expect such a marriage to result happily, and dishonorable because they have deceived the man they married. Love ought to be the basis of all marriages. ”

“ Walking is the best kind of exercise of all, and the most easily obtainable. Bicycle riding, too, is very good; so are all open-air games when not indulged in to excess. Dancing is an agreeable and healthy recreation for those engaged in sedentary pursuits. ”

“ A married man is more apt to labor for the good of all mankind, while a single man is apt to be more selfish in his aims and endeavors. The interests of a single man centre round himself, while those of a married man embrace his whole family, and in a larger degree the whole community. ”

“ As a mere boarder in somebody else’s home, she cannot do this. There are many drawbacks and perplexities about housekeeping, to be sure, but these ought to be met and contended with with a brave spirit. In the end, having conquered, it will be found that the pleasures far outweigh them. A woman ought to take pleasure in looking after the home nest, and ought not to [10] leave to some unsympathetic boarding-housekeeper the task of preparing the daily meals for her husband. ”

“ Many a man has done so and succeeded. Wisdom and foresight are possessed by women, as well as men.
Let your wife understand fully your business. Don’t let her think you are earning fifty dollars a week when you are earning only thirty dollars, or vice versa. ”

“ Still another writer says: “Married life appears to me a sort of philosophical discipline, training persons to honorable duties, worthy of the good and wise. Few unmarried people are affected as they ought to be toward the public good, and perceive what are really the most important objects in life.” ”

“ One of the worse cases of consumption has been known to have been cured by dancing, practised daily for many months. Horseback riding is also very good for consumptives. Swimming is one of the best kinds of exercise. ”

“ It is better, nevertheless, for the newly-married couple to live by themselves, if possible, and not be under the sway of a mother-in-law, or other relative, however kind and unselfish she or they may be. They ought to strike out for themselves. ”

“ Again, we hear the voice of an old man appearing to proceed from the roof of the building, the distant barking of a dog, etc., etc. These wonderful imitations are performed without the slightest movement of the lips, greatly to the astonishment of the audience. Would you not like to acquire this amusing and mystifying accomplishment? You can do so easily and readily by studying the directions contained in this book, which is the best and most complete instructor in the art of ventriloquism ever published. ”