Ambrose Bierce

“ The widow-queen of Portugal Had an audacious jester Who entered the confessional Disguised, and there confessed her. "Father," she said, "thine ear bend down -- My sins are more than scarlet: I love my fool -- blaspheming clown, And common, base-born varlet." "Daughter," the mimic priest replied, "That sin, indeed, is awful: The church's pardon is denied To love that is unlawful. "But since thy stubborn heart will be For him forever pleading, Thou'dst better make him, by decree, A man of birth and breeding." ”

“ Listings for J J is a consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel -- than which nothing could be more absurd. ”

“ Its original form, which has been but slightly modified, was that of the tail of a subdued dog, and it was not a letter but a character, standing for a Latin verb, 'jacere', "to throw," because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog's tail assumes that shape. ”