Anonymous

“ With some enchanting Valentine.
Thou breaker of the rules of sense;
A studied beau, a very fool:
To wit or wisdom no pretence,
But merely thou art Folly's tool!
Thou'lt ne'er be loved by woman-kind,
They won't to thee incline;
No one like you was e'er designed,
To be a Valentine.
Fling by your frippery, if you can,
And act and look just like a man.
I thought you honest and sincere,
But you're a hypocrite, I hear;
I thought you had delightful hair,
But 'tis a wig, as they declare. ”

“ Why, smarter bonnets we may meet,
Amongst the belles of Regent Street,
And smarter buy, with trimmings gay,
For four-and-nine-pence, any day;
But though you sport a bonnet blue,
And though that bonnet may be new,
And though in splendid dress you shine,
You shall not be my Valentine.
If in love he would fall, let the amorous swain
Behold you, when caught in a shower of rain;
Let him then see you striving your shape to display,
As through mud and through puddles you wriggle your way. ”

“ Where love afforded no relief;
Now pozing o'er those graceless charms,
That sear'd all lovers from your arms,
In lean and lanken garb array'd,
I leave thee, poor neglected maid.
You say you will not ease my pain,
You will not love requite;
You look upon me with disdain,
I know you can't see right.
My Valentine indeed declares,
She cannot bear my sight;
When she forgoes those foolish airs,
I'll say she then sees right.
Forgive me, pale Miss, if you think I am rude,
But I think that your manners declare you a prude ”

“ Who carries a whip and an eye-glass combined,
Like one who could ride and was almost purblind;
For the rest—but enough—I've this Valentine sent,
Supposing no other but you could be meant.
And so you think, because you vow,
That you're to be believed? ”

“ With your wig, and your gooseberry eyes, and your cap,
And your other et cæteras, too.
When loaded with ribbonds, and feathers, and gauze,
You look like a milliner’s pack
That's trimmed out for sale at a west country fair,
Or a block with a lump on its back.
Carmine and rouge have a most rapid sale,
On your face like red lead they shine,
Were I to wed you, I soon ruined should be,
So farewell, my sweet Valentine.
Feathers flowing, ribbons flying,
Bonnet small, and hair in braid.
Half the gentlemen are dying
To possess thy hand, fair maid ”

“ Valentine, and I'm in scribbling mood.
Pray, are you, sir, in love, or not? what's more, in love with me?
Pray, answer, for I'll frankly own I feel a love for thee.
Love has dropt in,—I know not how,—so, 'tis my heart's design
To choose you, sir, to be my beau, my constant Valentine.
What eyes, mouth, and nose! who d'ye think, would incline
To choose such an object for—Sweet Valentine.
From such a grim figure, I'm sure, any day,
I can't wonder Cupid is riding away.
E'en the donkey he rides appears frightened to see
An ugly old fellow, so much uglier than he. ”

“ But still in your noddle have got the colt's tooth;
But if of money you have but a nice clinking purse,
'Twill induce me to take you—tho' all for the worse.
If you are poor, I all thoughts must resign,
To take such an old girl for my Valentine. ”

“ A constant and fond Valentine.
In a newspaper lately this notice was seen,
Lost—A nondescript animal, something between
A man and a monkey—who mimics the beau,
And is dressed â la mode from the top to the toe;
Who although on his face not a hair ever grew,
Wears a beard, a moustache, and imperial too;
Who’s constantly smoking vile penny cheroots,
Wears Brougham trowsers and French leather boots;
A shirt pin, which no one who's seen it, denies
Is as large as the knob of a poker in size:
A huge cable chain down his bosom to match,
Which secures a pin-cushion in lieu of a watch ”

“ Whilst round thy eyes we see a lively red;
What though no diamond lustre deek your eyes,
Or the celestial blue that paints the skies—
Though black or hazel be not in them seen,
They wear, like pussy, a gay gooseberry green ”

“ And since a shirt is not the fashion,
With what I've sent you may now dash on;
A pair of stays that's nice and long,
Fully boned, and very strong;
A smelling bottle, nerves for bracing,
Lest you should faint with too tight lacing ”