Anonymous

“ H. Dear Mrs. Critical, you want me to fulfil the proverb, to love you so well, as to rub you down with an oaken towel, as my neighbours do; or like the Muscovite women, who don't think their husbands love them, unless they thrash them once or twice a week.
W. No more of your airs, if you love me. My meaning is to banish all jealousy from you : for was it so, you'd better put your horns in your pocket, than expose them; you may rest contented, and go to church with your neighbours, for it's more in fashion now-a-days, than you are aware of. Yet I afure you, husband, you are no cuckold. ”

“ H. Indeed my heart, I believe the first part of your story, but my head does ache a little as well as my heart; I dread the horns, I would not be a cuckold for all the world, to be pointed at by every one to have a skimington rode for me, and a thousand other reproaches which are unsufferable
W. Tush, foolishman, can I make you a cuckold of myself? and were it so, you ought to bear all afflictions with christian patience; the old proverb tells you, that all cuckolds go to heaven. The world as bad as is is, will say 'tis none of your fault, but your wife's. ”

“ Is not a man lord of the creation? and do not I toil and labour to subsist you and yours, and do not all hardships, law-suits dangers of war, and all other difficulties. fall to my share, if you abuse anyone, don't I suffer for it? may, if you get a bastard, must not I father it?' I work for you by day, and drudge for you by night, and yet you are not contented, without superiority over me. ”