Archibald Porteous

“ Said I, Lord forbid there were no Matter of it, and that God accepted of nothing but the Deed: Assure your self God accepts of our Endeavours, yea, of our weakest Endeavours: Remember ye not Mr. David Dickson's crying? God accepts the Will and Endeavour for the sorry Act it self. The thou cannot say thou lovest Christ, yet could thou fain love him? would thou fain Love sorrow, Grace or a broken Heart? Christ accepts of that for Love, Sorrow, Grace or a broken Heart. ”

“ Then, stirring as tho' she would have risen up, she said, Where is my Love gone? For seeing I have gotten a Blink of his fair and lovely Face, I cannot want him, or else I will burst.
I said, Wherefore gave he you this Blink, but to cheer you up till ye get more? Ye say, That ye cannot want him; he can as little want you, he is within a Cry, and no Crying he likes so well as Prayer: Therefore cry aloud and spare not, for if ye want him, Prayer will get you a Blink of him, yea many Blinks, till ye arrive at last at the full Enjoyment of him. ”

“ For the more slowly that Comfort comes in at first, the more surely it shall abound to you at last. Tho' ye cannot fay, The Lord hath pardoned me, yet let Hope comfort you and sustain you; Say, I hope the Lord will pardon me Then that Hope will draw you to Prayer, and set you at Defiance of Satan and your own Corruption, and will make you highly to esteem of Christ: And this will support you, and will, in end, bring you Comfort which the Lord grant for his own Name's Glory. ”

“ The Devil is a cruel and crafty Enemy, who meeting with a Soul that feels not Sin at all, flattered the Man with false Hopes, that all will be well enough, and that he will get Mercy, to the Man have no Right to it. But Satan, meeting with a Sinner troubled in Conscience and feeling Sin,and God's Wrath banging over his Head,therefore, Satan tell this Man a quite contrar Tale, That there is no Hope of Mercy for him, the Time or Day of Mercy is over and gone, God will not be gracious, his Sin is unpardonable, the Day of Grace is past, it is vain to seek for Mercy ”

“ No Man is crowned unless he drive as he ought, for tho' ye had never so many Enemies and Discontents in this World, yet one Glimpse of that Glory will make you to forget all your Griefs, as Paul fays, Rom. viii. 18. Said she, I have not only inbred Corruption to wrestle with, but also Satan's Temptations, which makes me to desire to be dissolved, and indeed I desire this, not for Fear of any Cross that can befal me in the World, but only that I may be freed from thir sinful Bands, and this corruptible Burden of Sin that presseth down my Soul. ”

“ Said I, Madam, ye know a new born Man child is a small Thing, yet he is a reasonable Creature, and a Man tho' he has not the Exercise of Reason to know this; Grace is as little as Reason in a new born Babe: Therefore if ye find your own Weakness, and belittle in your own Eyes, and if ye mourn because your Grace it so little, and would fain have it encreased, and if ye use the best Means that ye can to make it grow, then be assured ye have Grace. ”

“ Said I, Try the Object and End of your Desire, if both be Christ, or something else. The End of a true Desire in Christ, nothing will satisfy your Desire but the Enjoyment of him. Give a hungry Man never so much Gold, it will not satisfy him, if he get not Bread, so nothing will satisfy your Desire, if true, but that which ye desired; and, I am sure, this holds true in you; for tho' you should get all the World, it would not satisfy you, except you get Christ. Said she, I are not deny but I have a Desire, but it is not enough, desire him not so much, nor crave him so earnestly I should. ”

“ I fee that they who love Christ, love him nor for nought, but shall get as good as they brought, yea, ten Thousand Times better: I fee that Godliness it indeed great Gain, and brings unconceivable contentment, tho' some Folk in the World do think that they are yoked to a Bondage, when they are engaged unto Godliness, and that they will never get leave to be merry again but they are hugely deceived, and for mistaken ”

“ And yet I hope ye will not say that David was a Hypocrite: Have ye any more to say?
More (said she) I will never be able to reckon up what I have to say more: However, with Sorrow, I say that I have long made Defection from the Covenant of Grace, I have revolted and apostatised from God's Way, I have run, I know not, in how many Byways, even since I found some Good working in my Soul, and after I had with Forwardness, and for a long Space continued walking in the Paths of Holiness, I have again broken out and continued a long Time in my Wandrings, without any Care to return to God ”

“ For there is more true Joy and Peace even under the sad and dejected Countenance of the Godly, nor the Wicked have in their greatest Prosperity: I now see that God never wholly nor totally casts off such as he doth once take by the Hand; or, if he seemeth to call them off, it is only in their own Apprehension, and for the Tryal of their Grace, and in the same Instant of Time, hit Hand it under their Head to uphold and support them, tho' they do not perceive it. ”

“ But, seeing it is a hard and difficult Work to cure a troubled Soul, Satan opposing it with all his Might (for he would always have you looking to Sense, or else he would make you believe there is no Mercy for you) and seeing Satan's Policy is so great that none can rebuke these Storms and Waves, nor say to them, Peace, and ly still, that a great Calm may follow, but our Lord Jesus whom the Sea and Winds obey ”

“ And so she showed me a little Book, wherein the bad written a Catalogue of Mercies received, and of the particular Acts of God's Kindness to be in his Providences thro' her Life, But (said she) fee my Hypocrisy and Ingratitude: Are not very one of these Mercies, as a Ditty against me, these Mercies are as so many Judges to condemn me, who have been such a Backslider from my Lord, who has been so loving and merciful to me. ”

“ He is not parted, but every particular Soul gets all Christ, who is not impaired by another’s having him: Christ, who is the Son of Righteousness, is like the Sun in the Firmament, communicating its Light to many, and yet not impaired or lessened in its Glory and Splendor; each particular Person enjoys all the Light of the Sun, and yet leaves it wholly to another.
The Night following, Mary finding great Heat and Lightness in her Head, said, Madam, the Debate is now out of Question ”

“ I say then, A Person may have his Sin pardoned, and yet feel no Comfort for the present: Ye must first believe, and then afterwards feel: Ye know that Sense will deceive in judging of Colours or Quantity, how much more in spiritual Things? Believe first, and then pray, and ye shall have Feeling to your Comfort.
Said she, I had my self weary of Prayer, and ready to faint and give over.
Said I, So did David, Psal. lxix. 3. His Eyes failed, and he was weary with crying, and he cried still, Psal. lxix. 6. 13, 16. So do ye. ”

“ These Women came not to Church, till the Service was ended and over, and so were disappointed of Seat, judging it better to please their Lord, tho with Unease to their Bodies, than to do otherwise with wronging their Consciences; well knowing, that pleasing Christ and our selves cannot often be enjoyed together: And indeed there is no Comparison here, let worldly Men, who do not know Christ's Worth, think what they will. ”

“ Said I, This is also true, the more Grace a Man hath it shall be the better tryed, and he shall be sure of the more Temptations: We must not conclude we have little Grace, because we have many Temptations, but we must rather conclude the contrair. ”

“ I being then deceived of this Freedom, it makes me think I am but a Hypocrite, and that the Freedom I had at other Times has been only false Conceptions of Joy. Then presently I apprehending her to be in Trouble of Mind, and not daring to answer her till I had fought Wisdom and Strength from my Lord, and being conscious of my own Weakness, especially to quiet such a Storm as I saw was arising, there being no Storm so great as the Storm of a troubled Mind, and not any Storm requiring such Wisdom to calm it; I said to her. ”

“ For he will make you answer, and give an Account for your Refusal. Next, to that your so terrible Objection of Backsliding, let the Prophet Jeremiah's Answer satisfy you: For, to Israel that had played the Harlot with many Lovers, Jer.iii. 1. ”