Booth Tarkington

“ Mrs. Baxter managed and, having closed the door upon the laughing voices, asked, quickly—"What is it, Adelia? Have you seen Mr. William? Do you know why he doesn't come down?"
"Yes'm," said Adelia. "He gone mighty near out his head, Miz Baxter."
"What!"
"Yes'm. He come floppin' down the back stairs in his baf-robe li'l' while ago. He jes' gone up again. He 'ain't got no britches, Miz Baxter."
"No what?"
"No'm," said Adelia. "He 'ain't got no britches at all." ”

“ TIME DOES FLY
HE remembered now what he had been too hurried to remember earlier. He had worn these clothes on the previous Saturday, and, returning from a glorified walk with Miss Pratt, he had demonstrated a fact to which his near-demolition of the wafers, this afternoon, was additional testimony. This fact, roughly stated, is that a person of seventeen, in love, is liable to sit down anywhere. William had dreamily seated himself upon a tabouret in the library, without noticing that Jane had left her open paint-box there. Jane had just been painting sunsets ”

“ He has plenty!"
"No'm, he 'ain't," Adelia assured her. "An' he's carryin' on so I don't scarcely think he knows much what he's doin', Miz Baxter. He brung down some gray britches to the kitchen to see if I couldn' press an' clean 'em right quick: they was the ones Miss Jane, when she's paintin' all them sunsets, lef' her paint-box open, an' one them sunsets got on these here gray britches, Miz Baxter; an' hones'ly, Miz Baxter, he's fixed 'em in a condishum, tryin' to git that paint out, I don't believe it 'll be no use sendin' 'em to the cleaner. 'Clean 'em an' press 'em quick?' I says. ”