Catullus

“ I still should not want you to smile on all occasions:
for nothing is more silly than a silly smile.
Now you are a Celtiberian: in the land of Celtiberia,
whatever each man has urinated, with this he is accustomed
in the morning to rub his teeth and his red gums,
so that the more polished those teeth of yours are,
the more urine they proclaim you to have drunk. ”

“ nam rīsū ineptō rēs ineptior nūlla est. ”