Charles Dickens

“ It's amazing what places they used to put the guineas in, wrapped up in rags. Catch hold of that pile of wollumes, Wegg, or it'll bulge out and burst into the mud. Is there anyone about, to help?'
'There's a friend of mine, sir, that had the intention of spending the evening with me when I gave you up--much against my will--for the night.'
'Call him out,' cried Mr Boffin in a bustle; 'get him to bear a hand. Don't drop that one under your arm. It's Dancer. Him and his sister made pies of a dead sheep they found when they were out a walking. Where's your friend? Oh, here's your friend. ”

“ If you haven't the spirit of a mouse to defend your rights, I have. Let me go after him.'
As in his wildness he was making a strong struggle for it, Mr Venus deemed it expedient to lift him, throw him, and fall with him; well knowing that, once down, he would not he up again easily with his wooden leg. So they both rolled on the floor, and, as they did so, Mr Boffin shut the gate. ”

“ Mr Wegg again replied, with strict adherence to truth, that he didn't think he had ever had a similar sensation in his head, to anything like the same extent.
'Physic yourself to-morrow, Wegg,' said Mr Boffin, 'to be in order for next night. By-the-by, this neighbourhood is going to have a loss, Wegg.'
'A loss, sir?'
'Going to lose the Mounds.'
The friendly movers made such an obvious effort not to look at one another, that they might as well have stared at one another with all their might.
'Have you parted with them, Mr Boffin?' asked Silas.
'Yes; they're going. ”

“ This exclamation was elicited by his having turned the lantern off again, and on again, and being visible at the foot of the third mound.
'Why, he's going up it!' said Venus.
'Shovel and all!' said Wegg. ”

“ By these steps Mr Wegg arrived at a concluding instance of the human Magpie:
'"Many years ago, there lived at Cambridge a miserly old couple of the name of Jardine: they had two sons: the father was a perfect miser, and at his death one thousand guineas were discovered secreted in his bed. The two sons grew up as parsimonious as their sire. When about twenty years of age, they commenced business at Cambridge as drapers, and they continued there until their death. The establishment of the Messrs Jardine was the most dirty of all the shops in Cambridge. ”

“ With this view, he broke open his father's desk, where he found-- not his father's will which he sought after, but the will of his grandfather, which was then altogether forgotten in the family."'
'There!' said Mr Boffin. 'See what men put away and forget, or mean to destroy, and don't!' He then added in a slow tone, 'As-- ton--ish--ing!' And as he rolled his eyes all round the room, Wegg and Venus likewise rolled their eyes all round the room. And then Wegg, singly, fixed his eyes on Mr Boffin looking at the fire again ”

“ Mr Venus answered that he found it extremely interesting.
'Then come again,' said Mr Boffin, 'and hear some more. Come when you like; come the day after to-morrow, half an hour sooner. There's plenty more; there's no end to it.'
Mr Venus expressed his acknowledgments and accepted the invitation.
'It's wonderful what's been hid, at one time and another,' said Mr Boffin, ruminating; 'truly wonderful.'
'Meaning sir,' observed Wegg, with a propitiatory face to draw him out, and with another peg at his friend and brother, 'in the way of money?'
'Money,' said Mr Boffin. 'Ah! ”

“ For what says the Poet?
"And you needn't Mr Venus be your black bottle, For surely I'll be mine, And we'll take a glass with a slice of lemon in it to which you're partial, For auld lang syne."'
This flow of quotation and hospitality in Wegg indicated his observation of some little querulousness on the part of Venus.
'Why, as to the friendly move,' observed the last-named gentleman, rubbing his knees peevishly, 'one of my objections to it is, that it DON'T move.'
'Rome, brother,' returned Wegg: 'a city which (it may not be generally known) originated in twins and a wolf ”

“ The Roman Empire having worked out its destruction, Mr Boffin next appeared in a cab with Rollin's Ancient History, which valuable work being found to possess lethargic properties, broke down, at about the period when the whole of the army of Alexander the Macedonian (at that time about forty thousand strong) burst into tears simultaneously, on his being taken with a shivering fit after bathing. ”

“ Miss Dancer and her feminine graces. The Miser's Mansion. The finding of a treasure. The Story of the Mutton Pies. A Miser's Idea of Death. Bob, the Miser's cur. Griffiths and his Master. How to turn a penny. A substitute for a Fire. The Advantages of keeping a Snuff-box. The Miser dies without a Shirt. The Treasures of a Dunghill--"'
'Eh? What's that?' demanded Mr Boffin.
'"The Treasures," sir,' repeated Silas, reading very distinctly, '"of a Dunghill." ”

“ To her, another lady, apple- woman by trade, who had saved a fortune of ten thousand pounds and hidden it 'here and there, in cracks and corners, behind bricks and under the flooring.' To her, a French gentleman, who had crammed up his chimney, rather to the detriment of its drawing powers, 'a leather valise, containing twenty thousand francs, gold coins, and a large quantity of precious stones,' as discovered by a chimneysweep after his death. ”

“ Some were crammed into the crevices of the wall"';
(Here Mr Venus looked at the wall.)
'"Bundles were hid under the cushions and covers of the chairs"';
(Here Mr Venus looked under himself on the settle.)
'"Some were reposing snugly at the back of the drawers; and notes amounting to six hundred pounds were found neatly doubled up in the inside of an old teapot. In the stable the Captain found jugs full of old dollars and shillings. The chimney was not left unsearched, and paid very well for the trouble ”

“ It took many weeks to explore its whole contents; and Captain Holmes found it a very agreeable task to dive into the miser's secret hoards."'
(Here Mr Wegg repeated 'secret hoards', and pegged his comrade again.)
'"One of Mr Dancer's richest escretoires was found to be a dungheap in the cowhouse; a sum but little short of two thousand five hundred pounds was contained in this rich piece of manure ”