Ella Cheever Thayer

“ I will admit, Kate, that it has always been very hard to obtain money from your father; and now listen to reason. You are aware that we spend every cent of our income in order to keep up our style of living. The future of you two girls cannot be provided for by us, so there is but one thing for you to do,—to marry.
Kate. Are you sure that is the only thing?
Mrs. G. Why, what else is there—for a woman?
Kate. Many women are independent by the fruit of their own exertions. ”

“ Alice. A trade! How absurd! Would you marry a poor man for love?
Kate. Without an instant's hesitation, and I would never be a dependent burden on him! Oh! mother, can you not see how much of the misery in the world is caused by the way girls are educated, in helpless dependence, often obliged to sell themselves to the first man who offers, because they cannot support themselves? ”

“ Endicott, for instance.
Alice. It would never do to marry a poor man.
Mrs. G. Do! With your extravagant tastes it would be madness. I have no doubt Mr. Doughlass would make you a very good husband, and it is time you were thinking of settling in life now.
Alice. But Kate is older than I am.
Mrs. G. I fear poor Kate will surely be an old maid, in spite of all I can do. Alas! there has never been one in the family yet, and to think one of my daughters should be first to bear that stigma is terrible to contemplate.
Alice. Isn't it strange that she never tries to be attractive to gentlemen? ”

“ Ah, heavens! is there no truth in the world? Unhappy, indeed, must the woman be whose whole life is dependent on the truth or falsehood of a man. Oh, woman's heart! who can escape the suffering its tenderness brings? Strong-minded let me be, and deal with him as he deserves!
(Enter Dr. Endicott, C.)
Dr. E. (coming down R.) . I am happy to say your father and I have settled our little affair with mutual satisfaction; and now, Kate (going to her) , may I finish the sentence so rudely interrupted? May I dare to ask the one woman in the world for me, to share my life?
Kate (turning from him) . ”

“ Jennie. Here is Mr. Eugene's bouquet, and now where is Mr. Eugene? Not here, of course, and I must be running all over the house to find him. All a body has to do is to wait on him, that is what he thinks! For he is a lord of creation, he is! And he must have his buttonhole bouquet, and his hair parted in the middle, and his mustache waxed, and everybody must bow down and worship him! But after all, he isn't as bad as his father. Oh! isn't he just awful! Dear me, what a terrible thing it must be to think yourself so superior, all on account of your sex!
Jim (looking in, C.) . ”

“ Eugene give themselves! Over Miss Kate, too, who knows more than both of them put together.
Jim (gesticulating) . But, Jennie, a woman isn't supposed to know as much as a man. It isn't natural, you see! But a man likes them all the better for it, and he likes to be looked up to, you know.
Jen. (drawing herself up) . You don't say so! How sorry I am I can't make you happy in that way. But the fact is, I'd rather have a man who likes me for what I know and not for what I don't know! So (courtesying) I'll leave you to find a woman with less brains than you have—if you can. ”

“ Kate. Strange ideas! Is it so strange to long to be independent? Is it strange to shrink from being a burden on an already over-burdened father, or dependent upon the whims of some unloved husband? Is it strange to wish to exercise the talents and energy God has given you instead of allowing them to rust out in darkness? Does the fact of my being a woman make me content to drift along aimlessly, in a stream that leads nowhere? No! a thousand times, no!
(Enter Jennie, C.)
Jen. Dr. Endicott, miss.
Kate. Please ask him in.
Jen. Yes'm. (Aside.) He is a man what is a man. (Exit, C.)
Kate. ”

“ The boys nevaw think of having a champagne supper without Eugene, you know.
Kate. I am sorry if my brother is sought only for the purpose of gracing champagne suppers and disgracing himself.
Doug. Aw—weally, now, weally, aren't you a little too severe.
Alice (C.) . Of course she is. A young man must sow his wild oats.
Kate (L.) . But I believe a young lady is not allowed that privilege. What is wrong for one must be for the other?
Alice. You shock me, Kate.
Doug. Aw—weally now, 'pon my honor, that is such a strange wemark, Miss Grovenor; a lady is of course above such things. ”

“ But you cannot frighten me away, Miss Grovenor. It is just this free, untrammelled, independent woman we need in the world now.
Kate (C.) . I can feel now that I have one friend who knows and sympathizes with me.
Dr. E. (going towards her) . And who honors you above all women. Kate, may I add that this woman I have described is the woman I want at my fireside for my companion, friend, and my wife? There is one woman who is all I ask, one woman whom I love, but I dare not even hope for her favor. (Enter Eugene, C.) That woman, Kate, is— (Takes her hand.) ”

“ Do you think you can find Eugene?
Kate. I will try. (Aside.) They all discourage me, but I will not be daunted! (Exit, L. 2 E.)
Alice. You did not say a word about my dress, mother.
Mrs. G. But he is in such a bad humor! However, I will go now and see what can be done. Talk about earning money! I am sure I doubly earn every cent I get from Mr. Grovenor, and always have. (Exit, C.)
Alice. I believe father grows more stingy every day. Oh, dear! I suppose I shall have to marry that dreadful Mr. Doughlass. What a strange girl Kate is! ”

“ Oh, what an awful thing it is to be in love! And between me and the furniture, I do believe if a woman is the weaker sex, she always gets the best of a man somehow. (Exit, L. 2 E.)
(Enter Mrs. Grovenor and Alice, C.)
Mrs. G. (as she enters) . Well, no, my dear, Dr. Endicott is not a particularly good match. But Mr. Doughlass has an immense fortune, you know.
Alice (sits R. on sofa) . Yes, but Mr. Doughlass is such a bore, ma.
Mrs. G. (sitting, L.) . Ah, well, a bore is better than a tyrant, child.
Alice. But there must be some men who are neither. ”

“ Aw—you are looking as chawming as usual, Miss Grovenor.
Kate. I am very glad if you have been so fortunate as to discover the fact.
Doug. (aside) . That always does please them, to be sure.
(Enter Eugene, L. 2. E.)
Eug. (going to C.) Well, Kittie, here I am; now where is the governor, and what's the row? Ah, Harold, my boy, how are you? Where were you last night? Jolly old time the boys had. But champagne does make a fellow feel like the deuce the next day.
Kate (L.) . Is it worth while to drink it, then?
Eug. Oh! come now! don't preach. Confound it, a woman is always preaching. ”

“ Grovenor, L. U. E.)
Mr. G. (going to desk) . That will do, Jennie, that will do.
Jen. Very well, sir. (Aside.) What a scowl he has on him! I do believe I should be tempted to marry Jim, if it wasn't for the awful example before me. (Exit, L. U. E.)
Mr. G. (sitting at desk, R.) . Nothing but debts, debts. What a fool a man is to get married and saddle himself with an expensive family! Well, there is one consolation, my girls will be off my hands some time. Not a bad bargain will the man make who gets Kate. It's a pity, a great pity she isn't a boy. ”

“ Alice. Yes, it makes things too unequal, no doubt.
Doug. Aw—pwecisely. (Aside.) What the deuce does she mean? (Aloud.) Aw—if you are weady, my dear, we will bid the doctor good by.
Alice. Ah, yes. We will go. (Aside, as they go up.) I will teach him something about a woman's smartness after we are married. (Exit with Doughlass, C.)
Dr. E. (R., looking after them) . Poor foolish couple! I pity you both. She is marrying him for his money, and he her for her good looks. And good looks fade, and money is powerless to satisfy the cravings of the heart, and then, what? (Enter Jim, C.) Well, Jim? ”

“ The deuce you are!
Mr. G. Nothing but a steady hand will save me. While I am struggling with all my might—sick enough to be in bed—to pull through, you all, not content with being dead weights on my shoulders, run into extravagance and profligacy. (Takes bill from desk.) The bill for my daughter Alice's last ball dress is here, $500. Here are two of your champagne bills, $100. I tell you this must be stopped. Your debauchery must be stopped. You have not the strength of mind to go through profligacy and come out solvent; if you had Kate's brains you might, but you have not ”

“ Yes—aw—and some day I shall tell you just how chawming I do think you. You are so different from your sister, you know. Why—aw—but weally a fellow is quite afwaid of her.
Alice. Afraid? What, you afraid of a lady?
Doug. Well, not—not exactly afwaid, of course, but you see—aw—I never know what to say to her. We fellows do not like these—aw—strong-minded ladies, you know. We like these—aw—gentle, clinging, soft girls, that do not know so much, you know, of whom you, Miss Alice, are such a chawming type! ”

“ I do not believe you know exactly what you are talking about, but then a woman never does. Now, for instance, how long do you suppose it would take you to earn that dress you have on, at women's average wages? ”

“ Jim. Excuse me, sir, it's nothing but a little quarrel that Jennie and I were having. Nothing uncommon, sir. She is like all women, the better a man likes her the worse he gets treated.
Jen. Do not listen to him, please, doctor. It's all a bit of nonsense, anyway. If that last you said is true, Jim, all I have got to say is that it shows a great weakness in the sex. ”

“ Alice (aside) . It will not do to get angry with him yet. But if I marry him I'll let him know whether I have any brains or not! (Aloud.) Indeed, Mr. Doughlass? But really, I do not think Kate so very formidable. Ah! here she comes now. (Goes to R. C.)
Doug. I'm sorry—aw—to have our tête-à-tête interrupted, and I am sure I do not know what to say to her, nevaw do, you know!
(Enter Kate, L. 2 E., and bows to Doughlass coldly.)
Doug. (aside) . She looks at a fellow in a way that fweezes him all over. Aw—I'll flatter her. ”

“ And yet I do not know, I am not sure but what it would be nice to be independent.
(Enter Jennie, C.)
Jen. (coming down and handing card) . Are you at home, Miss Alice?
Alice (takes it and reads) . "Harold Doughlass." Yes (sighs) , I suppose so.
Jen. Yes'm. (Aside.) He is one of the superior sex, and he don't know so much as an idiot! (Exit, C.)
Alice. Now, were I independent, I should certainly have said I was engaged and could not see him. How shall I be able to endure him for a life time, when he bores me so for an hour?
(Enter Doughlass, eye-glass, cane, etc., C.)
Alice (rising) . ”

“ Dr. E. Kate, do I merit that strange tone of severity?
Kate. Sir, do you think you are worthy of such a woman as you have described?
Dr. E. No, Kate, no man is. But I would hope by her aid and the influence of her pure example to make myself more worthy day after day.
Kate. Your hypocrisy deceives me no longer, Dr. Endicott. The man I marry I must honor as well as love. I cannot honor you. Farewell. (Points to door, C.)
Tableau. Music. Dr. Endicott, R.; Kate, L.
ACT II. Scene.—Library in Mr. Grovenor's House. Desk, R., Books, etc. Jennie discovered arranging Books at Desk. ”

“ That's right, doctor, shake hands with her, but after that keep at a discreet distance, for she hates men, you know. Wants to vote and smoke cigars, and wear bloomers and all that sort of thing, you know. ”

“ Endicott, a true Man. Mr. Grovenor, the Head of his Family. Eugene, his Son, taking Life easy. Harold Doughlass, with more Money than Brains. Jim, a Coachman, much in Love. Kate Grovenor, who has a Mind of her own. Lizzie, a young Seamstress. Mrs. Grovenor, Mr. Grovenor's lesser half. Alice Grovenor, anxious for a rich Husband. Jennie, a Chambermaid who believes in Woman's Rights. ”

“ Alice (aside) . My ideas have been all wrong, but my fate is fixed now.
Jim (coming down L. with Jennie) . If you please, now, there is so much being said about getting married, I would like to mention that Jennie and I are going to get married, too.
Jen. On equal rights.
Dr. E. Equal rights to all.
Kate. And I wish to every woman in the land might come equal rights, independence, and last, but not least, love.
Music, curtain.
Alice, Doughlass, R. Kate, Dr. Endicott, R. C.; Mr. Grovenor in chair C.; Mrs. Grovenor at back of chair; Eugene, Lizzie, L. C. ”