Emma Dorothy Eliza Nevitte Southworth

“ Why have you not had the manhood to hang yourself?”
“Man, spare your reproaches! I am passing from earth, and if repentance and faith avail me, going to that other world, where I shall receive my dear one’s forgiveness. You may spare your reproaches, as indeed I do not know how, or by what right, you, of all men, dare to make them,” said Hereward, with more dignity than he had hitherto shown.
“I speak by the most sacred right that a man could have to speak,” solemnly replied Ancillon.
“What are you to Lilith, or what was Lilith to you? A man may not know all his wife’s relations. ”

“ I only come this morning with the sinner to call and pay my respects to the baroness and see you, honey, and then go back to the Hotel of Love. I never would have presumed to come and set down on you all without an invitation,” said Aunt Sophie, in a soft, slow, deprecating tone.
Lilith went and kissed her gently before replying:
“You did not come without an invitation, and a very pressing one. You cannot doubt how pleased Madame Von Bruyin is to see you, or how happy I am to have you here.”
“I know you are all awful good to me. I know that,” said Aunt Sophie. ”

“ I hope you will do well, honey. When are you going?”
“We sail in the Kron Prinz on the first of June.”
“So soon! Ah me! I shall never live to see you come back, dearie.”
“Oh, yes, you will, dear Aunt Sophie. Your good and useful life will be prolonged for many years yet.”
“Oh, how selfish I am! I ought not to think about myself, but about you. Dearie, I hope the lady you are going with will not be too hard on you. You are such a child! Is she real old and ugly?” anxiously inquired Aunt Sophie. ”

“ Dear Aunt Sophie: If I were in need, there is no one in this whole world to whom I should be so entirely willing to be indebted as to yourself. And if I were in want, it would be to you, first of all, to whom I should come for help, feeling sure of obtaining it. But, dear friend, I am not so poor in funds as I am supposed to be. I have enough to keep me for a year at least, even if I should get no work to do. ”

“ It was Lion, her faithful Newfoundland dog, who had followed her to the railway station, and from whom she had parted on that dreadful night of her banishment from her home, as she had supposed, forever.
Her joy at meeting her favorite was scarcely less than his own. She welcomed, caressed and talked to him.
“Loyal old Lion! We will never part again! Never again, dear old Lion! until death takes one or the other,” said Lilith, as at last she disengaged herself from him and went upstairs to her room, conducted by Hereward.
Here another surprise awaited her. ”

“ She had so mastered her pain and repressed her heart that she now felt sure Hereward’s young wife regarded Leda Von Bruyin’s love for him as the mere passing fancy of a wealthy woman of the world, soon to be forgotten in the change of travel or the whirl of society. She felt no jealousy of this despised and discarded wife, as she might have felt had Lilith been the beloved, honored and cherished companion of her husband; on the contrary, she felt pity, affection and sympathy for the poor, lonely and dependent child. ”

“ Ancillon was still living; he had not fallen a victim to any deadly fever of the South, or to the knife of any border ruffian of the West; he had not perished in any railroad collision or steamboat explosion; and these were the only perils which, in Lilith’s opinion, could end a life so young and sound as his was. He still lived, and in his adventurous or drifting life had drifted into the calm haven of Aunt Sophie’s home.
It was very curious that he should have done so, Lilith thought; but, then, experience shows us many curious coincidences in life. ”

“ Especially to a convalescent, coming for the first time out of his sick-room, must such a scene of summer glory have brought a delicious sense of new life in fresh and keen enjoyment, making him think that even of this material world it might be said, to some less favored people of some other planet: “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, nor hath it entered into the heart of man the things that God hath prepared for them that love Him.” ”

“ As day after day passed with the disappointment of the morning, and the wearying round of the afternoon, Lilith grew heart-sick and brain-sick over it all. The splendors of the preparations for the approaching wedding were in such dissonance to her anxious and despairing mood that, young and beautiful as she was, she began to take a strong distaste to finery, and to wish herself among the plain Methodists of Aunt Sophie’s humble boarding-house. ”

“ I am beginning to hate that man. Yes, and to hate myself for ever having imagined that I liked him.”
“Oh, Madame Von Bruyin!”
“It is true. The more I see of the world, the longer I live, the more experience I gain, the more heartily I dislike that man, and dislike myself for ever having fancied that I liked him,” exclaimed the baroness.
“I am very sorry you feel so,” said Lilith.
“Sorry! Sorry that I have ceased to be in love with your husband, Lilith? Well, you are an oddity!” ”

“ Wyvil—met his ears from all sides—her grace, her wit, her genius, her elegance, her accomplishments were the theme of the salon.
“Wyvil!” he said to himself—“Wyvil! the name is certainly not a common one! Who can she be, I wonder? An American, too! I must see this belle.”
The princess, still watching the approach of the stranger, turned to Lilith for an instant and said:
“My love, I wish you would speak to dear Aunt Sophie. There she sits, hiding behind you, quite neglected.” ”

“ It is no exaggeration to say that if it can be shown that the remains identified before the coroner’s jury as those of my wife, were in reality not hers, but of another person, I should be lifted from death and despair to life and hope. For look you, my friends, in all the long and dreary days and in all the long and sleepless nights, I say to myself, that whoever struck the fatal blow, I, and I only, am the original cause of Lilith’s death,” said Hereward. ”

“ Remorse is harder to bear than sorrow, and no doubt it is remorse for the wrongs he had done her, and not sorrow for the loss of the wife whom he never loved, that is breaking down his health. However, he will get over it in time,” said the lady, complacently.
“And—you expect—some day—to bestow on him—your hand in marriage?” slowly questioned Lilith.
“Yes, my dear; I mean to do him that justice—to give him that consolation. We are both so young yet. He is not thirty, I am but a little more than twenty years of age. ”

“ She is already beautiful, elegant and graceful by nature. She is cultivated, refined and accomplished by education; all she needs is intercourse with the highest European circles to give her the tone and manner of the most cultured society. And that she shall have. I will introduce her, not as my salaried companion—though she shall have her salary and much more than her salary—but as my own adopted sister. And when you see her again, Tudor Hereward, you will not be likely to despise her. ”

“ Lilith paused and reflected, and then she answered:
“I am not pledged to secrecy in this matter; yet, if you were not my husband, and if I were not fully resolved never to have a secret, either of my own or of any one else’s, from you, I should not tell you this; for women should not betray women, especially to the common enemy; but I know you are not vain, Tudor, and you are generous.” ”

“ She looked searchingly into Lilith’s face, and saw there the traces of emotion but recently overcome. She smiled softly, as she drew the girl’s arm within her own and whispered:
“We do not either of us look quite well, dear; but n’importe—the fault will be laid upon the sea! On land, all our feminine troubles, for which we do not wish to account, we explain by a headache. At sea, all grievances of soul or body may be put down to sea-sickness. Is a woman pale from vexation or disappointment? She is only sea-sick. ”

“ Tudor Hereward’s wife—dead! Madame, what reason have you for supposing so?” demanded Lilith, in a low but firm tone.
“I do not wonder that you are surprised and incredulous! It is so strange that the young wife, with perhaps seventy years of life before her, should have been cut off by accident so soon; but strange things do happen in this uncertain old world of ours! And, my dear, it is true—Tudor Hereward’s wife is dead.” ”

“ Will madame graciously excuse me?” inquired the polite Monsieur Le Grange, as he led Mrs. Downie to the little salon.
“Oh, yes, sir. Please go look after all that gold and silver and jewels at once. It is an awful temptation to leave in the way of servants—awful. And so many strange waiters in the house, too!” said Mrs. Downie, as she sank into a seat.
“Aunt Sophie,” said Lilith, approaching on the arm of Tudor, “this is Mr. Hereward, my husband. And this lady, sir, is Mrs. Downie, who has been so kind to me ever since I made her acquaintance.” ”

“ At length she almost offended Madame Von Bruyin by declining to go into company at all.
“They take me for ‘a widow indeed,’ madame, and it becomes very embarrassing,” she pleaded.
“Well, but, petite, we cannot explain; so what is to be done?” inquired the baroness, laughing at the absurdity of Lilith’s dilemma.
“I do not know, unless I avoid society. I might stay home when you go out, and keep my room when you have company here,” replied the girl.
“But I cannot consent to any such isolation on your part. It would not be good for your health of mind or body. Come, my dear, cheer up! ”

“ A reverse, a calamity, sudden and overwhelming as a thunderbolt or an earthquake, laid waste my life and destroyed all my happiness in an instant, ‘in the twinkling of an eye,’ and cast me alone upon the world. I came to New York to get away from a scene so full 108of miserable associations as my home had become, and seek a living here among strangers, all of whom have so charitably taken me on trust, when they might have put out the last spark of hope and life by unjust but reasonable suspicions,” said Lilith, as if she deeply felt the truth of every word she uttered. ”

“ And for all the secrets that I have kept from you, who was like a mother to me?” inquired Lilith, tenderly taking her old friend’s hand.
“Lor’, honey, what call have I got to forgive you? Forgive you for what? For keeping of your father’s and your husband’s secrets? Why, child, you hadn’t any right to tell other people’s secrets. I reckon you had none of your own; though most people do have some secrets. Lor’! everybody can’t tell everything in the world to everybody else, I reckon. ’Twouldn’t do, anyways. So don’t say no more about that, my dear.”
“You are very sweet, Aunt Sophie.” ”

“ Lilith strongly objected to being present—pleaded earnestly to be relieved from attending it.
“Dear madame, I feel as if, in my circumstances, I ought to live in strict retirement. I am not Mrs. Wyvil. I am not a widow. I am Tudor Hereward’s repudiated wife. When I find myself in a ball-room or in a drawing-room, surrounded by people who seem anxious to do me honor—I feel—oh, I feel just as if I were only a fraud, a humbug, an impostor, an adventuress. ”

“ She found a tall, beautiful woman, dressed in deep mourning, the black crape vail thrown back, revealing a fair face, with delicately blooming cheeks, large, soft, violet eyes, and rippling golden hair, just visible under the borders of her widow’s cap.
Gentle Aunt Sophie was won, despite herself, by the sweet, pensive smile with which the lady received her own rather cold greeting, when Lilith had introduced the parties to each other. ”

“ After reading that strange confession, Lilith sat in a trance of delight so rapt that in it she forgot every source of trouble to herself.
Now the guiltless was vindicated. Now the secret that had weighed her young life almost down to death might be told. Now the sorely persecuted yet withal light-hearted and joyous exile and wanderer might return to his own a free and justified man. ”

“ The car was now filled with passengers, and even the seat by her side was taken by a fat woman with an immense bundle in her lap, who crowded Lilith close against the side. She turned towards the window, drew her thick vail closer over her face, and wept silently but bitterly until once more overtasked nature yielded to weariness and to the smooth, swift, soothing motion of the train, and she slept; this time a dreamless sleep, that lasted until the train ran into the Baltimore station. ”

“ Oh, my angel mother in heaven, if you had been on earth you would never have let your child fall into such a trap. You would have taught her; you would have warned her. Oh, he ought to have been generous; he ought to have remembered that I had no mother; he ought to have let me alone!”
“What is the matter with you, dear child?” inquired the baroness, breaking in upon Lilith’s grievous reverie. “You are so absorbed and distressed that you must be in some great trouble, either for yourself or for some one else. Can I do anything for you?” ”

“ Wyvil is faint; will you give her the support of your arm to my boudoir? She will show you the way.”
Hereward bowed, drew his wife’s arm within his own, and led her from the salon by the shortest way indicated only by a gesture from Lilith.
They entered the elegant boudoir, with its walls of fluted white satin, and its furniture and draperies of white satin flowered with gold, and its innumerable treasures of beauty and of art; but they saw none of these things. They might have been in a West Virginia hut, for all consciousness they had of these splendors. ”

“ How much she was to be pitied!” cried Lilith, in a tone of sharp pain.
“As for my miserable self, the kind guardian of my peace and welfare saw that there had been no happy meeting between me and my lover. Again he won my secret from me. This time it was the secret of my disappointment and humiliation. Then taking my hand, he said to me:
“‘My dear, the world knows nothing of this. The world still believes us to be a betrothed pair. Let things go on as they were arranged. You know me. We will be married at the time appointed. ”

“ Why not have taken them all with you?”
“Never saw the day when we could afford that, my dear. But I will live in hopes to see the old world some time or other before I die. Well, dear, I only called to inquire after you, and to see whether Sophie Downie had done a good part by you——”
“She is the best friend I have in this world!” hastily and warmly interrupted Lilith—“except yourself, Mrs. Ponsonby,” she added, on reflection.
“And I don’t doubt that Madame Von Bruyin will be a much more valuable friend than either of us,” said Mrs. Ponsonby.
“No! no!” exclaimed Lilith. ”

“ How much good you will do!”
“If so, it will be through your hands, dear friend,” replied the baroness, rising to take leave.
Mrs. Downie, with the most old-fashioned, time-out-of-mind hospitality, would have pressed her to stay to dinner, to stay to tea, to spend the whole evening, but the baroness smiled, pleaded a pressure of engagements, and departed.
“She’s good! she’s mighty good. But, oh! what a sinner I am. For I’m so awful jealous of her, all the same. But I can’t help it, and it’s all because of you, honey,” said Aunt Sophie, as soon as she was left alone with Lilith. ”

“ Endure the homage of the world for a few days longer—only for a few days, petite, and then it will be over. Paris will be empty, and we ourselves will be inhaling the mountain air of Switzerland,” laughed the lady.
And Lilith, having no alternative, endured the tortures of her false position until the fashionable world had fled from town.
The baroness and her companion lingered a little behind the others, in order that Madame Von Bruyin might show Lilith all those places of interest which a new-comer must see, but which had hitherto been neglected for other and more social pastimes. ”