George Granville

“ Yes, perjur'd Bellamour, it is Angelica, the Credulous Angelica; whom you so basely, and so ungratefully have betray'd: And who in a disguise; unworthy her Quality, or the modesty of her Sex, has been a Witness to all your Perjuries. 'Tis that Angelica whose heart ye came hither to pierce. Behold that heart, and with a Resolution worthy the rest of your Treacheries, Pierce, Perfidious Man, Pierce it boldly: see 'tis unguarded for the blow. Alas! but a little longer, and it had broke with the weight of the injuries that opprest it. Why stand you mute? Where is your Courage fled? ”

“ Sir Toby. Your Piquette Friend will be here instantly, Madam, according to your direction: He is already so charm'd with your Ladyship, that if you are not merciful in time, his heart will break, quite break; poor thing, he is just at the point of death.
Lad. Dor. 'Tis much for a Lady's Honour to have a Lover die.
Sir Toby. True, Madam; but then let those die you don't care for: Tho' it may be for your Glory to triumph over some, yet for your Pleasure you shou'd be kind to others—And this is the prettiest loving little Rogue—Adzooks 'twere a thousand Pities to let him come to any harm. ”

“ What froward Fools are Men? Still they perplex us with ungrounded Jealousies, and affront us with vile Aspersions; yet know us at the same time, to be their Judges, and that by our Sentence 'tis, they Live or Die. No, Bellamour, after your Rude Behaviour to Day, never must you more expect the least appearance of Kindness from me; there is no trusting for a Husband, a Man who makes so unruly a Lover. ”

“ Ha, ha, ha, why Frederick—ha, ha, ha, what! Draw upon a Woman—upon your Mistress too—for shame—you a Man, ha ha.
Fred. Hey Day! Upon a Woman! Upon my Mistress! what the Devil is all this!
Cons. Love they say is blind, have Lovers too no Eyes? Is it possible, that you cannot discover Constantia thro' any Disguise?
Fred. Constantia!
Cons. Yes, dull Lover; where is now the Sympathy and the instinct, by which you Men are always so ready to find us out? one of us is Constantia. ”

“ Faith none at all: Our Inclinations are our Masters, and we wander but as our Stars lead us; if they are false Lights, and shew us out of the way, let them answer for't. It was my fortune to see Angelica, and to love her. ”

“ As these are a Prey to Age and Infirmities, so are those to every frivolous Interest and idle Temptation. Their Love is never so firm and well-establish'd, but it is sacrific'd every hour to their Folly, or their Pride.———
Lucin. Enough, enough, Mr. Bellamour,—if these are your Opinions of our Sex, how are you to be believ'd, when you say you love us? For how can any thing so deform'd, as you describe Women, be belov'd?
Bell. There is a secret Enchantment in your Persons, that bewitches us to our own Destruction.—Inconstant Lucinda, after so many obliging Encouragements! ”

“ Bellamour, that let the Person be never so lovely, or so much belov'd, as soon as she becomes your Wife; the Charm ends? Like enchanted Palaces that we approach with admiration, but in the instant when we think we are entring into Paradise, we find our selves in some dark Dungeon inhabited by Toads and Adders.
Sir J. Aery. Do not you know, Geddemme, that let a Person be never so much an Angel before Enjoyment, she is the Devil afterwards? ”

“ And why not, rather than marry a dull, fat Fool, with a great Estate, whose Faculties are all choak'd up with Flegm; a Lump, whose only sign of Life is sweating; we may melt his Grease, but not extract one wholesome Drop out of him.—No, give me a Man without a Fortune, rather than a Fortune without a Man. ”

“ I have this Comfort under Bellamour's Jealousy of these Fools whom I hate, that Philabell whom I Love, will be less suspected.
For tho' the slighted Rivals be Reveal'd,
The Man we Love, should be with Care Conceal'd. ”

“ I blush for the Follies of my Sex.
Sir Toby. Blushing do's infinitely become your Ladyship—Then there is the Secret of Secrets, the Never-failing Elixir of Love———
Lad. Dor. Hold, hold, Sir Toby—may it become my Modesty to hear it?
Sir Toby. Adzooks, I don't know what your Modesty may be; but if 'tis so troublesom, I can hold my Tongue.
Lad. Dor. No, no, speak; you're too well bred, to say any thing you shou'd not.
Sir Toby. Then this mighty Secret is Keeping. The Men naturally love receiving better than paying ”

“ But one who has already been guilty of so many weaknesses on your account, may be easily perswaded to another. Yes, Bellamour, I will forgive, but must be cautious ever how I trust you any more: we should take care how we confide a second time, having been once betray'd! ”

“ That's very foolish, Geddemme: Now, I never take any thing for an Affront. If a Man calls me Son of a Whore, Beged I always take it for a mark of familiarity and kindness. If any one kicks, or gives me a Box on the Ear, I take it all in good part. A very good Jest, i'faith, and i laugh till I hold my sides.
Vaun. Thou'rt i'th' right, Beged; for why the Devil shou'd I suppose any Man would affront a Man of my parts? ”

“ Your Lover is waiting for you at home; I find he cannot be very disagreeable to you, since you are so ready to quarrel for him.
Dia. For him! Really, Brother, if you think so, I will concern my self no more in this Affair; my Sisters might fall out for the Man, but I vow my Disorder proceeded from nothing but an inordinate desire to be the Instrument of your happiness.
Fred. Pray no more words—Go home, agree among your selves, and make me happy, by making Courtall so. ”

“ And Venus shall never starve while I can furnish her; you old Fellows always rail at Pleasures you are past. Nothing relishes when the Appetite is gone. For my part, I have quite another Idea of the Sex; at least, I will delay censuring till I have examin'd into Lucinda's Truth: If Lucinda has been false, I will then turn Railer like you, and conclude the worst of 'em all. ”

“ Bellamour, this is a part below the Character of a Man of Honour; neither am I so destitute of Friends, but you may be call'd to a severe Account for it.
Bell. I doubt not but you have Bully's at Command as well as Fools; cunning Devil! This Disguise is too affected; Thus Women always turn Accusers, when they want an Excuse. ”

“ As your Ladyship's Disappointments are a Lesson to the Ladies, not to trust too much to appearances, so may my Victory serve to inform Mankind, that whosoever has once entertain'd a real Passion, can never so entirely dispossess himself, but the Woman, if she Pleases may reclaim him. There is always left a Foundation to work upon ”

“ If Contracts might be made and broken, as Men change their Affections, Poor Women are like to be happy: Barbarous Ungrateful Creature, let me never see your Face again in my House—Oh! I can't endure him. ”

“ None are so Devout, I hope, as to renounce the Pleasures and Conventions of the World.
Sir Toby. No, ne'er trouble your self, the Saints themselves have failings; human Flesh is frail. So you lift up one hand to Heaven, you may lift up the Petticoat with t'other: Let their Heads be never so full of Devotion, the Devil is sure to be in their Tails. ”

“ O Aery, and when our Estates are gone, what will be left us?
Sir John Aery. Not a Man will keep us Company, for fear we should borrow Money of him.
Vaun. Not a Woman will suffer us, for they think all filthy Fellows that have not Estates. ”

“ He can Sing and Dance, Play on the Flute, and Fiddle, there's Woman's Vanity again: She never sees a soft Affected Ass, but she is pleased with the reflection of her own Follies, and admires her self in every Fop, that like a Glass shows her the Image of her own Mind. ”

“ Bellamour bows.—Exeunt Lady Dor., Sir Toby, and Ang.
Bell. Yes, Women are unintelligible to the most piercing and quick-sighted: Nothing is sincere in whatever they say or do: They are all Artifice and Disguise; resolving and altering without Sence or Reason; nothing is constant either in their Minds, or in their Bodies. ”

“ I shall find a time, Sir, to call you to an Account in another place.
Bell. What place you please, Sir.
Sir Toby. (to Bell.) I shall take an occasion, I shall Sir, Adzooks, to make you repent putting your Town Tricks upon Country Girls.
Luc. Mr. Bellmour, can't you compose your self enough to go in and Play a Pool with us.
Bell. I will wish you some Luck, Madam. May you be always Flatter'd, and always Loose; may you never think, you have a sure Game, but be disappointed by a better. ”

“ Marriage is therefore necessary to perfect the Felicities of Love; and I appeal to their Consciences, Men and Women, who follow unlawful Pleasures, if they have not at some times, uneasie moments: And whoever have any thing, at any time, to reproach their Consciences withal, cannot be said to be happy. ”

“ There is never a Dissembling ill-natur'd Woman of you all, but is vext at the loss of a Lover, tho' 'tis one she hates; all are necessary for your Vanity, and your Pride, though but some are pickt for your Pleasures. ”

“ The newest thing that I know of, is a Dictionary that's preparing for the Press, at the desire of a certain great Lady, to suit our Language to the Modesty of the fair Sex, and to castrate the immodest Syllables in such Words as begin and end obscenely. ”

“ This Town is a prying malicious place; as long as the Town do's not talk, our Honour is safe; and as long as our Honour is safe, there's no harm done: for 'tis a receiv'd Maxim among us Ladies, That 'tis the Talk, and not the Intrigue, that's the Crime.
Sir Toby. The way to keep the Town Civil, is to be openly Scandalous and Lewd. We never talk out of Aversion to the Guilty, but Spight to the Innocent; and care not to expose those who do Ill, but defame those who do Well. Believe me, the only way to gain an ill Reputation, is to live Chaste ”

“ Why don't you see as we walk along, how they stop and look back—Demme' Jack, says one, a pretty young Fellow—By Jove as good as a Wench—And then a Lady with a languishing Cast, ogles over her shoulder, and whispers her Companion—I vow, my Dear, a most agreeable Creature. ”

“ If you observe your Spark to be bold and undertaking, then indeed you may seem shy; but if he is timorous, and under any awe, you must do something to give him Courage, or you spoil all. Come, come, adzooks, the Women of this Age are not to be taught these Lessons. ”

“ Upon my Reputation, such a Man is not at all my Aversion.
Ang. Of all the Conquests I have made in this habit, that which pleases me best, is my Adventure with my Lady Dorimen. It is, you know, to her Neece Lucinda, that my faithless Bellamour is to be marry'd; wherefore if lean but get into her Ladyship's Family, and have some power over her Inclinations, I hope to find an Expedient to break off a Match, which, if concluded, undoes me. ”

“ Know then, my dear Angelica, that tho' in publick I have been an Enemy declar'd to Love, yet we have held a private Correspondence together. And what may seem yet more Bizarre, the Man in the World whom I have always us'd worst, is he whom I have lov'd best. I know what Dissemblers are Men, and am resolv'd to enquire thorowly into my Lover, before I discover my Inclinations. ”

“ I would have my Lover my Slave; a thing cast to please and obey me; like my Glove, to draw on or off as I think fitting; but then this Lover must not be jealous; that Chews too much like a Contention for the Mastery; every Look and Action is to be enquir'd into, and a strict account exacted of all that's done or said. No, give me the Lover that's free, who never pries into my Affairs, who has his Secrets, and lets me have mine ”

“ If his Friend has had a Third Day to his Satisfaction, it is all the end that the Author propos'd to himself: And if before the ordinary Age of Manhood, he shall be allow'd not to have been wholly Impotent, it is all the Commendation he expects. ”

“ Resentment has made more Cuckolds than Inconstancy: Women are naturally Fond and Faithful; but they are Revengeful, and of all Provocations, Neglect is the greatest.
Ang. It is not therefore to us, but to themselves, that they owe their Misfortunes. When we are injur'd, we are no longer our selves; Disdain and Resentment Oppress our Virtue, and in that moment, a slight Temptation shall prevail with those who had before refilled the strongest. ”

“ A new Play never wants Enemies. First, All your discontented Poets who have been ill-us'd themselves, are glad of a new Companion; then your Criticks that had not the Reading of the piece before Was given to the House, are sure to Censure severely, to be reveng'd for their neglected Judgments. And lastly, All your drest Beaux, who revenge upon the Innocent Play the injuries they receive from the Crowd, as the ruffling their Crevats, disordering their Perukes, and the Sweat that gets the ascendant of their Essence and Polville. ”