I. A. R. Wylie

“ When a man has to resort to his own visiting card to find out who he is one may be forgiven for supposing that this self-forgetfulness is something less than pure altruism. The man on the doorstep resigned himself to necessity and put his hand in his trouser pocket. ”

“ Look here, Inspector, that won't do. I'm not an animal."
"You said you was a lost dog," retorted the Constable, with grim delight in his own jest. "Well, anyhow, there's a Doctor Thingummy round the corner. I calls 'im Thingummy because 'e 'as a foreign name, and I don't 'old with foreign names. Not since that there war. I up'olds the Law myself, but wot I says is, 'When an Englishman sees a foreigner he ort ter bash 'im in the eye,' I don't care who he is—"
"Well, perhaps Dr. Thingummy only sounds foreign," the young man suggested. ”

“ Constable X. touched his helmet.
"Thank you, sir," he said with considerably more respect. "It's a case for the doctors—that's wot it is," he went on thoughtfully, "wot they calls a specialist. The duchess was queer in her upper storey—senile decay, as they called it."
"Good heavens, I'm not as old as that, am I?"
"'Tain't always age that does it," Constable X. returned, with a grave and significant shake of the head. "There's decays and decays. You've got 'em young—that's all."
"Suppose we find the doctor?" suggested the young man hastily.
"You're sitting on 'is doorstep." ”

“ For reasons of which we are at present ignorant you are hiding your identity in your subconscious mind. When we have discovered and removed the cause of your action you will, as you would inaccurately express it, recover your memory. ”

“ On such occasions the victim grows hot and feverish in the endeavour to locate the door and window; he cannot remember who he is, where he is or how he got there; he feels painfully lost and helpless. ”

“ That"—he wagged a long reproving finger in the young man's face—"that, sir, is where the scientific and the untrained mind differ. You are concerned with trivial personalities, I with large issues, with cause and effect and the relation of one phenomenon to another. You, frankly, consider your identity as the main consideration. To me it is not of the slightest importance. How long have you been in this state?"
"I don't know. The Constable here found me on a doorstep about half an hour ago." ”

“ But 'is wife she got on 'is nerves—she was always a hummin' tunes to 'erself, and the more he asked 'er not the more she did it. And one day, right in the middle of 'Annie Laurie,' he ups and 'its 'er over the 'ead with 'is beer-mug. Must 'ave caught 'er on 'er soft spot, for she never 'ummed again. But 'e swung for it, poor chap, though the jury did put in extenuating circumstances. No, sir, you believe me, you can't be sure of anyone in this life—least of all yourself. ”