James Edward Preston Muddock

“ But the feeling with which he kissed the hand of the maiden almost amounted to disgust. His own was small compared to it. Hers was a coarse and hairy hand. From the representations of Ytidrusba he had expected to see a young lady who might have justly laid claim to some beauty. But though Flin, with the gallantry and courtesy characteristic of him, does not say all he thought of the Princess, it is very clear that he was by no means very greatly impressed. In age she must have been close on sixty, though, as he had learnt, this was simply childhood in Esnesnon. ”

“ You will pardon me for contradicting that statement, madam, it is a gross untruth. I am proud to say that under the glorious stars and stripes the perfection of civilisation is reached. There the ladies are made love to by the gentlemen. ”

“ But when I remember that I am a grave and sober man of science, I can scarcely find words sufficiently strong to express my aversion for such unpardonable behaviour on the part of a lady occupying the high position that you do. ”

“ Flin replied. "I think, your Highness," he continued, "that after the frivolities I may venture to claim your serious attention to a little matter concerning myself, and in which I am desirous of soliciting your aid."
"Pray, my dear, command me," she answered. "I will fly to the ends of Esnesnon if you but command me."
"You are exceedingly kind," he said, "but I am not desirous of putting you to any such personal inconvenience."
"No inconvenience, love, if it would serve you," and again she tried to draw him towards her, but he held her at arm's length. ”

“ I am afraid that this is a very bad place for an unprotected young male who has any pretension to beauty. The ladies here are terrible creatures."
The Princess smiled, though Flin says that her smile was a "horse laugh." It is only charitable to believe that he made this assertion while smarting under some fancied wrong, for his well-known gallantry would scarcely have permitted him to be rude to one of the fair sex. ”

“ Do not be so absurdly funny, there's a darling. You really make my eyes water and my sides ache. Why, you are such an interesting little creature that all the maidens in our fair city will be fighting about you. ”

“ In fact, I may inform you that there the ladies are generally guarded and looked after, and that it would be considered the height of rudeness for a lady with any pretensions to good breeding to make the slightest advance to a gentlemen. ”