Jerome K. Jerome

“ John Robinson, son of a colonial merchant, a gentleman, as she must have seen, and a young man of easy means, but of a position not so very much superior to her own. The first intimation she received that her lover was none other than Lord C——, the future Earl of ——, was vouchsafed her during a painful interview with his lordship's mother.
"I never knew it, madam," asserted Mary, standing by the window of the drawing-room above the shop, "upon my word of honour, I never knew it."
"Perhaps not," answered her ladyship, coldly. "Would you have refused him if you had?" ”

“ The countess had sense enough to see that she was only losing ground by argument. She rose and replaced her cheque-book in her bag.
"I think, my good girl, you must be mad," she said; "if you will not allow me to do anything for you, there's an end to the matter. I did not come here to quarrel with you. My son knows his duty to me and to his family. You must take your own course and I must take mine."
"Very well, my lady," said Mary Sewell, holding the door open for her ladyship to pass out; "we shall see who wins." ”

“ I'm not wishing to speak disrespectfully of my betters, but I was in service before I came here, ma'am, as lady's maid, in a place where I saw much of what is called Society. I think I can be as good a lady as some I know, if not better."
The countess began to grow angry again. "And who do you think will receive you," she cried; "a girl who has served in a pastry-cook's shop?"
"Lady L—— came from behind the bar," Mary answered, "and that's not so much better. And the Duchess of C——, I have heard, was a ballet girl, but nobody seems to remember it. ”

“ The bride did not answer, but followed with "Susannah."
"Why, what a lot of names you must have, my dear!" exclaimed the countess. "When are you going to get to the ones we all know?"
"Ruth," continued the bride without answering.
Breeding is not always proof against strong emotion. The countess snatched Susannah Ruth Sewell stood before her, flushed and trembling, but looking none the less pretty because of that. At this point the crowd came in useful.
"I am sure your ladyship does not wish a scene," said Mary, speaking low. "The thing is done." ”

“ Nor is it possible to imagine the Earl of ——'s living as contentedly as he does with any partner of a less dominating turn of mind. He is one of those weak-headed, strong-limbed, good-natured, childish men, born to be guided in all matters, from the tying of a neck-cloth to the choice of a political party, by their women folk. Such men are in clover when their proprietor happens to be a good and sensible woman, but are to be pitied when they get into the hands of the selfish or the foolish. ”

“ Perhaps in that moment, Mary also wished that the title were at the bottom of the sea, and that her lover were only the plain Mr. John Robinson she had thought him. These big, stupid men are often very lovable in spite of, or because of, their weakness. They appeal to the mother side of a woman's heart, and that is the biggest side, in all good women.
Suddenly, however, the door opened. The countess appeared, and sentiment flew out. Lord C——, releasing Mary, sprang back, looking like a guilty school-boy. ”

“ Quite a treasure was Miss Hodskiss's new maid. "A clean, wholesome girl," said of her Contractor Hodskiss, who cultivated affability towards the lower orders; "knows her place, and talks sense. You keep that girl, Clemmy."
"Do you think she knows enough?" hazarded the maternal Hodskiss.
"Quite sufficient for any decent woman," retorted the contractor, "When Clemmy wants painting and stuffing, it will be time enough for Her to think about getting one of your 'Ach Himmels' or 'Mon Dieus.'"
"I like the girl myself, immensely," agreed Clementina's mother ”

“ But Mary was a very practical young woman, and there are difficulties in the way of handling a lover, who, however ready he may be to do your bidding so long as your eyes are upon him, is liable to be turned from his purpose so soon as another influence is substituted for your own. His lordship suggested an immediate secret marriage, but you cannot run out into the street, knock up a clergyman, and get married on the spot, and Mary knew that the moment she was gone his lordship's will would revert to his mother's keeping. ”

“ It was the only sound she had been able to hear.
"It's deuced awkward," explained his lordship, "when you're—well, when you are anybody, you know. You can't do as you like. Things are expected of you, and there's such a lot to be considered."
Mary rose and clasped her pretty dimpled hands, from which she had drawn her gloves, behind his neck. ”

“ I shall be a good wife to him, and he shall never regret it. You might find him a richer wife, a better educated wife, but you will never find him a wife who will be more devoted to him and to his interests. ”

“ Then her ladyship began to talk reason, as people do when it is too late. She pointed out to the girl the difference of social position, and explained to her the miseries that come from marrying out of one's station. But the girl by this time had got over her surprise, and perhaps had begun to reflect that in any case, a countess-ship was worth fighting for. The best of women are influenced by such considerations. ”

“ As very young men, they too often fall victims to bad-tempered chorus girls or to middle-aged matrons of the class from which Pope judged all womankind. They make capital husbands when well managed; treated badly, they say little, but set to work, after the manner of a dissatisfied cat, to find a kinder mistress, generally succeeding. The Earl of —— adored his wife, and deemed himself the most fortunate of husbands, and a better testimonial than such no wife should hope for. ”

“ Hodskiss. Quite as remarkable was the new-born desire of Lord C—— towards Miss Clementina Hodskiss. Mary's name was never mentioned, and the suggestion of immediate marriage was listened to without remonstrance. Wiser folk would have puzzled their brains, but both her ladyship and ex-contractor Hodskiss were accustomed to find all things yield to their wishes. The countess saw visions of a rehabilitated estate, and Clementina's father dreamed of a peerage, secured by the influence of aristocratic connections. ”

“ I don't believe she has ever had a day's illness in her life. She will be physicking this parish when my bodies are rattling in my coffin, and she will be laying down the laws of literature long after your statue has become a familiar ornament of Westminster Abbey. ”

“ I continued. "She could hardly have gone back to Aunt Jane's and changed her things."
The doctor has no mind for minutiæ. "I cannot tell you about all that," he replied. "I think I mentioned that Mary was a practical girl. Possibly she had thought of these details."
"And did the countess take the matter quietly?" I asked. I like a tidy story, where everybody is put into his or her proper place at the end. Your modern romancer leaves half his characters lying about just anyhow. ”

“ The remark, I admit, sounds weak when written down; the most natural remarks always do.
"It's a fact," said the doctor, "though she does not suggest the shop-girl, does she? But then I have known countesses, descended in a direct line from William the Conqueror, who did, so things balance one another. Mary, Countess of ——, was, thirty years ago, Mary Sewell, daughter of a Taunton linen-draper. The business, profitable enough as country businesses go, was inadequate for the needs of the Sewell family, consisting,as I believe it did, of seven boys and eight girls. ”

“ But no matter at what cunning hour her ladyship might call, the "treasure" always happened for some reason or other to be abroad.
"Your girl seems to be always out when I come," laughed the countess. "One would fancy there was some reason for it."
"It does seem odd," agreed Clementina, with a slight flush.
Miss Hodskiss herself showed rather than spoke her appreciation of the girl. She seemed unable to move or think without her. Not even from the interviews with Lord C—— was the maid always absent.
The marriage it was settled should be by licence. Mrs. ”