Jerome K. Jerome

“ I do wish they'd think of something new.
"'Oh, I never mind how they talk,' said a fourth. 'If a man dances well he may be a fool for all I care.'
"'He generally is.' slipped in a thin girl, rather spitefully
"'I go to a ball to dance,' continued the previous speaker, not noticing the interruption. 'All I ask of a partner is that he shall hold me firmly, take me round steadily, and not get tired before I do.'
"'A clockwork figure would be the thing for you,' said the girl who had interrupted. ”

“ Come, speak up for yourself, my boy. "The old gentleman twisted one of the buttons at the back of his coat, and immediately Fritz opened his mouth, and in thin tones that appeared to proceed from the back of his head, remarked suddenly, 'May I have the pleasure?' and then shut his mouth again with a snap. ”

“ Doctor Follen gave a ball in honour of the event. Old Geibel and his daughter Olga were among the guests.
"During the afternoon of the next day some three or four of Olga's bosom friends, who had also been present at the ball, dropped in to have a chat about it. They naturally fell to discussing the men, and to criticizing their dancing. Geibel was in the room, but he appeared to be absorbed in his newspaper, and the girls took no notice of him.
"'There seem to be fewer men who can dance at every ball you go to,' said one of the girls. ”

“ Geibel laughed and nodded, and the two worked their way quietly towards the door.
"'This is the young people's house tonight,' said Wenzel, so soon as they were outside; 'you and I will have a quiet pipe and a glass of hock, over in the counting house.'
"Meanwhile the dancing grew more fast and furious. Little Annette loosened the screw regulating her partner's rate of progress, and the figure flew round with her swifter arid swifter. Couple after couple dropped but exhausted, but they only went the faster, till at length they remained dancing alone. ”

“ He had contrived a mechanical donkey that would trot for two hours by means of stored electricity, and trot, too, much faster than the live article, and with less need for exertion on the part of the driver; a bird that would shoot up into the air, fly around and around in a circle, and drop to earth at the exact spot from where it started; a skeleton that, supported by an upright iron bar, would dance a hornpipe; a life-size lady doll that could play the fiddle ”

“ Two or three men acting in concert might have lifted it bodily off the floor, or have jammed it into a corner. But few human heads are capable of remaining cool under excitement. Those who are not present think how stupid must have been those who were ”

“ But that was only a detail.
"'He walks a little stiffly,' (old Geibel took his arm and walked him forward a few steps. He certainly did walk stiffly) , 'but then, walking is not his forte. He is essentially a dancing man. I have only been able to teach him the waltz as yet, but at that he is faultless. Come, which of you ladies may I introduce him to as a partner? He keeps perfect time; he never gets tired; he won't kick you or tread on your dress; he will hold you as firmly as you like, and go as quickly or as slowly as you please; he never gets giddy ”