Leo Tolstoy

“ Like the thief, I was nailed, as it were by some invisible power, to this life of suffering and evil; and the same dreadful darkness of death that awaited the thief, after his useless suffering and enduring of the evils of life, awaited me.
In all this I was like the thief, but there was this difference between us: he was dying, and I still lived. The thief could believe that his salvation would be realized beyond the grave, but I could not; because, putting aside the life beyond the grave, I had yet to live on earth. I did not, however, understand life. ”

“ I have lived fifty five years, thirty five of them (save the first fourteen or fifteen) as a nihilist, a real nihilist -- not a socialist or a revolutionary, as the word is habitually understood, but as a man without any belief.
Five years ago I was converted to the teaching of Christ -- and suddenly my life turned around. I didn't want what I used to want, and began to want what I never wanted. What seemed to be good began to seem base, and what seemed base began to seem good. ”

“ Five years ago I began to believe in the doctrine of Christ, and in consequence a great change has been wrought in me. I now no longer care for the things that I had prized, and I have begun to desire things concerning which I had formerly been indifferent. Like a man who, going out on business, on his way suddenly becomes convinced of the futility of that business and turns back ”