M. R. James

“ THE CAT, WAG, SLIM AND OTHERS
I got out my precious casket. I sat by the window and watched. The moon shone out, the lid of the box loosened in due course, and I touched my forehead with the ointment. But neither at once nor for some little time after did I notice any fresh power coming to me.
With the moon, up came also the little town, and no sooner were the doors of the houses level with the grass than the boys were out of them and running in some numbers towards my window; in fact, some slipped out of their own windows, not waiting for the doors to be available. Wag was the first. ”

“ However, if the maid had not seen her, the cat had, and murmured a good deal to herself, and was in a rather nervous state. [68] She sat, with her ears turned different ways, on the window-sill, looking out, and twitching her back uncomfortably, like an old lady who feels a draught. ”

“ At first I did not see them, for they were not hopping about on the lawn; but as I stared at the hedge of the garden, and at that of the field, I became [89] aware that these were full of life. On almost every twig that could hold a bird in shelter—not on the top of the hedges—a bird was sitting, quite still, and they were all looking towards the window, as if they were expecting something to happen there. Occasionally one would flutter its wings a little and turn its head towards its neighbour ”

“ Yet, between the orb of the moon and my box, there was some obstruction. High up in [148] the sky was a dancing film, thick enough to cast a shadow on the area of the window; and ever, as the moon rode higher in the heavens, this obstruction became more solid. It seemed gradually to get its bearings and settle into the place where it would shut off the light from the box most completely. I began to guess. It was the bat-ball; neither more nor less than a dense cloud of bats, gradually forming itself into a solid ball, and coming lower, and nearer to my window. ”

“ WAG AT HOME
There was no scrambling up to the window-sill this time. My visitors shot in like so many arrows, and “brought up” on their hands on the tablecloth, or lit on their feet on the top rail of a chair-back or on my shoulder, as the fancy took them. It would be tedious to go through all the congratulations and thanks which I offered, and indeed received, for it was important to them that the Jars should not get into wrong hands.
“Father says,” said Wag, who was sitting on a book, as usual—“Oh, what fun it is to be able to fly again!” ”

“ When I was at supper that evening, the cat came in, as she usually did, to see what was going. I had always been accustomed to think that cats talk when they mew, dogs when they bark, and so on. It is not so at all. Their talking is almost all done (except when they are in a great state of mind) in a tone which you cannot possibly hear without help. Mewing is for the most part only shouting without saying any words. Purring is, as we often say, singing.
Well, this cat was an ordinary nice creature, tabby, and in she came, and sat watching me while I had soup. ”

“ Lunch, the afternoon, tea, all passed by, and I was completely undisturbed. “They must be saving up for the bat-ball,” I thought. “What in the world can it be?”
As candle-time came on, and the moon began to make herself felt, I took up my old position at the window, with the garden squirt at hand and two full jugs of water on the floor—plenty more to be got from the bathroom if wanted. The leaden box of the Five Jars was in the right place for the moonbeams to fall on it.... ”

“ Luckily Wag was soon convinced that I was not in earnest, and he recovered his spirits directly.
“All right,” he said, nodding at me; “did I hear you say you didn't like earwigs? That's worth remembering, Slim.”
This reduced me at once; I tried to point out that he had begun it, and that it would be a mean revenge, and very hard on the earwigs, if he filled my room with them, for I should be obliged to kill all I could.
“Why,” he said, “they needn't be real earwigs; my own tickle every bit as much as real ones.” ”

“ It was a knight on horseback, in plate-armour, and the armour looked as if it had really seen service. The horse was a massive white beast, rather of the cart-horse type, but not so “hairy in the hoof”; the background was a wood, chiefly of oak-trees; [165] but the undergrowth was wonderfully painted. I felt that if I looked into it I should see every blade of grass and every bramble-leaf.
“Ready?” said Wag, and reached over and moved one of the knobs. The knight shook his rein, and the horse began to move at a foot-pace.
“Well, but he can't hear anything, Wag,” said his father. ”

“ I charged the squirt and let fly, and again, and again, as quick as I could fill it. The water spread a bit before it reached the ball, but [149] not too much to spoil the effect; and the effect was almost alarming. Some hundreds of bats all shrieking out at once, and shrieking with rage and fear (not merely from the excitement of chasing flies, as they generally do) . Dozens of them dropping away, with wings too soaked to fly, some on to the grass, where they hopped and fluttered and rolled in ecstasies of passion, some into bushes, one or two plumb on to the path, where they lay motionless ”

“ They all clambered down either me or the chairs or the tablecloth. Slim lingered a moment to say, “You'll look out, won't you?” and then followed the rest on to the window-sill, where, taking the time from Captain Wag, they all stood [132] in a row, bowed with their caps off, straightened up again, each sang one note, which combined into a wonderful chord, faced round and disappeared. I followed them to the window and saw the inhabitants of the house separating and going to their homes with the young ones capering round them. ”

“ You know how sometimes—but very, very seldom—you see something in a dream which you are quite sure is real. So it was with me this time. I did not dream any story or see any people; I only dreamt of a plant. ”

“ After thinking how best to greet it, I went back to the oak, stood in front of it and said (of course baring my head) :
“Oak, I humbly desire your good leave to gather the green plant which grows between your roots. If an acorn falls into this my right hand” (which I held out) “I will count it that you answer yes—and give you thanks.” The acorn fell straight into the palm of my hand. I said, “I thank you, Oak: good growth to you. I will lay this your acorn in the place whence I gather the plant.” ”

“ We all drew in our breath.
“Don't be frightened, dear,” said Mrs. Wag to the youngest girl, who had given a sort of jump. “He's quite safe this time.”
I must say it did not look like it. The beast that had leapt on to the saddle was tearing with its claws, drawing back its head and driving it forward again with horrid [168] force against the visor, and was at such close quarters that the knight could not possibly either draw or use his sword. It was a horrible beast, too; evidently a young dragon. As it sat on the saddle-bow, its head was just about on a level with the knight's. ”

“ It hardly made so much noise as the stream: the pool was deeper. But I thought it must say something, and I put my head down as close as I could to the surface of the water. If I am not mistaken (and as things turned out I am sure I was right) the words were: Gather gather, pick pick, or quick quick.
Now I had not been thinking about the plant for a little time; but, as you may suppose, this brought it back to my mind and I got up and began to look about at the roots of the old oaks which grew just round the spring. ”

“ I put in a word: “I don't mind his being here.”
“I dare say not; that's not the point,” said Wag. “Are you coming down?”
“No,” said Wisp, “not for you.” But his tone was rather blustering than brave.
“Very well, don't then,” said Wag; and I expected him to run up and pull Wisp down by the legs, but he didn't do that. He took something out of the breast of his tunic, put it in his mouth, lay down on his stomach, and, with his eyes on Wisp, [126] puffed out his cheeks. Two or three seconds passed, during which I felt Wisp shifting about on his perch, and breathing quickly. ”

“ I watched one heat. The earwigs seemed to me neither very speedy nor very intelligent, and all except one were apt [116] to stop in mid-course and engage in personal encounters with each other.
I was beginning to wonder how long this would go on, when Wag woke up. Like most of us, he was not willing to allow that he had been asleep.
“I thought I'd just lie down a bit,” he said, “and then I didn't want to bustle your cat, so I stopped there. And now I want to know—Slim, I say, what was it you were asking me?” ”

“ THE SMALL PEOPLE
You will have made sure that the next jar I meant to try was the one for the tongue, in hopes that it would help me to speak to some of the creatures. Though I looked forward to the experiment very much, and felt somewhat restless until I had made it, I did get a good deal of amusement out of what I saw and heard the next day. The small people were not to be seen—at least not in the morning. No, I am wrong: I found a bunch of three of them—young ones—asleep in a hollow tree. ”

“ I managed, without altering my position too much, to keep my eye on the window-sill, and, sure enough, in a second or two a small round head came into sight. I went on with my game. At first I could see that the watcher was ready to duck down at the slightest provocation, but as I took no sort of notice, he gained confidence, leant his elbows on the sill, and then actually pulled himself up and sat down on it. He bent over and whispered to the others below, and it was not long before I saw a [72] whole row of heads filling up the window-sill from end to end. ”

“ Then he put the jar and the spoon back, laid the lid on the box and put it back in the chest. After that he went to the window and stood there looking out, and seemed to be very much amused with what he saw. That was all.
“Hints for me,” I remember thinking. “Perhaps it will be best not to touch the box before the moon is up to-night, and always with washed hands.” ”

“ As I strolled up the road I pondered over the message which Wag's father had been so good as to send me. “If they're about the house, give them horseshoes; if there's a bat-ball, squirt at it. I think there's a squirt in the tool-house.” All very well, no doubt. I had one horseshoe, but that was not much, and I could explore the tool-house and borrow the garden squirt. But more horseshoes?
[143] At that moment I heard a squeak and a rustle in the hedge, and could not help poking my stick into it to see what had made the noise. The stick clinked against something with its iron ferrule. ”

“ The next thing he did was to push up his visor, look upward, mutter something I could not well hear, and cross himself; after which he said aloud, “Where man finds one of a brood, he may look for more,” mounted, turned his horse's head and galloped off the way he had come.
We had not followed him far through the wood when—
“Bother!” said Wag, “there's the bell”; and he reached over and slid back the knobs in the frame, and the knight stopped.
[170] I was full of questions, but there was no time to put them. Good-nights had to be said quickly, and Father Wag saw me out of the front door. ”

“ Disgusting! A good scratch all down your horrible fat cheek is what you want, and I know some cats that would give it you. No more notion how to behave than a cockroach.”
About this time I rang the bell and the [47] fish was taken away. The cat went too, circling round the maid with trusting and childlike glances, and I heard her saying in the former tone:
“Well, I daresay after all there are some kind hearts in the world, some that can feel for a poor weary creature, and know what a deal of strength and nourishment even the least bit of fish can give——” And I lost the rest. ”

“ In a theatre, you know, if you saw a knight riding through a forest, the effect would be managed by making the scenery slide backwards past him; and in a cinema it could all be shortened up by increasing the pace or leaving out part of the film. ”

“ Slim lingered. I raised my eyebrows and pointed at Wag. Slim nodded.
“The fact is,” he said in a low voice, “he got us into rather a row yesterday and we're all stopped flying for three nights.”
“Oh,” said I. “I see: you must tell him I am very sorry for being so stupid. May I ask who stopped you?”
“Oh, just the old man, not the owls.”
“You do go to the owls for something, then?” I asked, trying to appear intelligent. ”

“ Maid: “No, nor the gentleman don't want none of your stuff neither; and how do you know there's a gentleman here at all I should like to know? What? Don't mean no offence? I dare say. That's more than I know. Well, that's the last word I've got to say.”
In a minute more there was a knock at my door, and at the same time a step on [91] the gravel path under my window, and a loud hiss from the cat. As I said “Come in” to the knock, I hastily looked out of the window, but saw nothing. It was the maid who had knocked. ”

“ And so I did; first, however, concealing the suit-case in my bedroom—not that I supposed hiding it would be of much use—and piling upon it poker, tongs, knife, horseshoe, and anything else I could find which I thought would keep off trespassers. I had, by the way, to explain to the maid that a bird had flown against the window and broken it, and when she said “Stupid, tiresome little things they are,” I am afraid I did not contradict her.
I went out by way of the garden and crossed the field, near the middle of which stands a large old oak. ”