Mrs. Molesworth

“ An hour or two later Gertrude Englewood was bidding her young guest good-night.
“And oh, Maisie!” she exclaimed, “how did you get on with Despard? Is he not delightful?”
Miss Fforde smiled quietly. They were standing in her room, for she was to spend a night or two with her friend.
“I—to tell you the truth, I would much rather not speak about him,” she said. “He is very good looking, and—well, not stupid, I dare say. But I am not used to men, you know, Gertrude—not to men of the day, at least, of which I suppose he is a type. I cannot say that I care to see more of them. ”

“ In a sort of dream I went in to dinner; in a sort of dream I went through that wonderful evening. They were as unlike as sisters could well be, except for the hair: unlike, and yet alike; for, if there is one woman in this world as good and true as my Bronzie, it is her sister Bessie. ”

“ I repeated peevishly, looking out, nevertheless, in expectation of seeing some childish head of ordinary fair hair at the spot my sister indicated. But I started violently—yes, it was Bronzie again; the self-same hair, at least. And the girl was standing, with her back to us, at the door of the first-class refreshment room, as Isabel had said. I felt as if I were dreaming; my brain was in a whirl. I sat down in my place for a moment to recover myself.
“I wonder,” said my sister, “if her face is as lovely as her hair? She is sure to turn round directly. ”

“ Where in Heaven’s name has Gertrude Englewood unearthed her from? Upon my soul, it is the very last time she will see me at her dances!”
And somehow his discomfiture was not decreased by a glance, and almost involuntary glance, at Miss Fforde as they began to dance. She was certainly not striking in appearance; she was middle-sized, barely that indeed; her dress was now, he began to perceive, plain with the plainness of intention, not of ignorance or economy. But yet, with it all—no, he could not honestly feel that he was right; she did not look like “a nobody.” ”

“ She taunted me with my insolence at the first—good God! what an instrument of torture a woman’s tongue can be! There is only one thing to do—to stop Gertrude’s ever telling of that letter.”
“Oh, Despard!” exclaimed Mrs Selby, and her eyes filled with tears. “What a horrid girl she must be! And I thought she looked so sweet and nice. She seemed so sorry when her cousin told me about you. Tell me, was that after? Oh, yes, of course, it must have been. Despard, I believe she was already repenting her cruelty.”
“Hush, Madeline,” said Mr Norreys sternly. ”

“ The worst of it is, that when he becomes a reasonable being, as he does now and then, he can be so nice—interesting even—and I forget whom I am talking to. But not for long! No, indeed—‘Mrs Englewood’s dowdy protégée,’ the ‘bread-and-butter miss,’ for whom the tenth waltz was too much condescension, hasn’t such a bad memory. And when I had looked forward to my first dance so, and fancied the world was a good and kind place! Oh!” and she clenched her hands as the hot mortification, the scathing désillusionnement, of that evening recurred to her in its full force. ”

“ For that Madeline had already written to Mrs Englewood he felt little doubt.
“Women are always in such a desperate hurry,” he said to himself, which, all things considered, was surely most unreasonable. Nor could he have denied that it was so, for even as he made the reflection he began to calculate in how many, or how few rather, days they might look for an answer, and to speculate on the chances of Mrs Englewood’s being acquainted with Maisie’s present whereabouts.
“Maisie,” he called her to himself, though he had somehow shrunk from telling the name to his sister. ”

“ If he had heard what Maisie Fforde was thinking to herself as she made her way quickly to her cousin!
“What a pity!” she thought. “What a real pity that a man who must have had good material in him should have so sunk—to what I can’t help thinking vulgarity of feeling, if not of externals—to such contemptible self-conceit and affectations! I can understand, however, that he may have been a nice boy once, as Gertrude maintains. Poor Gertrude—how her hero has turned out! I must never let her know how impossible I find it to resist drawing him out—it surely is not wrong? ”

“ She did not understand Mrs Englewood’s view of the matter.
“It would be cruel,” Gertrude had said to herself, “to tell him how she blames herself, and how my showing her Mrs Selby’s letter had cleared him. It would only bring it all up again when he has doubtless begun to forget it.”
Nevertheless, Despard did not leave England without knowing how completely Lady Margaret had retracted her cruel words, and how bitterly she regretted them.
Time passes quickly, we are told, when we are hard at work. And doubtless this is true while the time in question is the present. ”

“ I have asked her since if she thought me mad: she says not; but I feel as if I must have seemed so. For still I could not speak, though certain words seemed dancing like happy fairies across my brain. “Bronzie, my Bronzie! found at last. Bronzie!”
And in another instant good little Bessie Greatrex was in the room, busy introducing me to her sister, “Miss Grey,” and explaining that she had not been sure of Imogen’s arriving in time for dinner—had I heard the wheels just as we went up to dress? ”

“ Despard’s brows contracted. Mrs Selby thought it was from the pain in his head, but it was more than that. A vision rose before him of a sweet flushed girlish face, with gentle pleasure and appeal in the eyes—and of Gertrude’s voice, “If you don’t dance, will you talk to her? Anything to please her a little, you know.”
“I think Gertrude did all she could. I believe she is a perfectly loyal and faithful friend,” he said; “but for heaven’s sake, Maddie, let us drop it for ever. I will write this evening to Gertrude myself, and that will be the last act in the drama.” ”

“ Bronzie was walking away in an opposite direction, though slowly. She was with two ladies; as usual, it was only the hair and figure I saw—no glimpse of the face was possible; yet I knew it was she. Nor, of course, would the sight of a face I never had seen have helped to identify her.
“By Jove!” I exclaimed aloud, unconscious that my sister was close behind me; “by Jove! how she has grown!”
“Who?” Isabel exclaimed; “whom are you speaking of? Is there some one there we know?” and in another instant she too was craning her neck out of the window. ”

“ The man felt strangely moved and humbled.
“If I could hope ever to win her,” he thought, “I feel as if I had it in me to be a better man—I am not all selfish and worldly, Maisie—surely not? But what has made her judge me so cruelly? It is awful to remember what she said, and to imagine what sort of an opinion she must have of me to have been able to say it. For—no, that was not my contemptible conceit—” and his face flushed. “She was beginning to care for me. She is too generous to have remembered vindictively my insolence, for insolence it was, at the first. ”

“ In your place, my dear Gertrude!” and an expressive raising of the eyebrows said the rest.
“But, Harry,” she would mildly expostulate, “you forget. I knew him when he was—”
“So high—at Whipmore. Oh, yes; I know all about it. Well, well, take your way of it; it doesn’t hurt me if you invite people who don’t want to come.”
“But who always do come, you must allow,” she would reply triumphantly.
“And think themselves mighty condescending for doing so,” Mr Englewood put in.
“You don’t do Despard justice. It’s always the way with men, I suppose.” ”

“ I am very glad, delighted, Despard, that you are discontented and dissatisfied; I knew it would come sooner or later.”
Mr Norreys looked rather embarrassed.
“Maddie,” he began again, “you haven’t quite understood me. I didn’t finish my sentence. I was going on to say that at least I had done no harm to anyone else; if no one’s any better through me, at least no one’s the worse for my selfishness—oh, yes, don’t interrupt,” he went on. “I know what you’d like to say—‘No man liveth to himself,’ the high-flown sort of thing. ”

“ And just now there was a brightness, an expectancy in the eyes which was by no means their constant expression. For, lashes notwithstanding, Miss Fforde’s blue eyes could look cold enough when she chose.
“Good eyes,” thought Despard. But just as he allowed the words to shape themselves in his brain, he noticed that over the girl’s clear, pale face a glow of colour was quickly spreading.
“Good gracious!” he ejaculated mentally, “she is blushing! What a bread-and-butter miss she must be—to blush because a man’s introduced to her. And I am to draw her out! It is really too bad of Mrs Englewood;” ”

“ And you know, as you are so fond of work now, you will have lots to do. All manner of things for poor people that I want to manage, and don’t know how—and all our own—I won’t say ‘my’ any more—tenants to look after—and—and—”
”‘That girl in black’ herself to take care of, and make as happy as all my love and my strength, and my life’s devotion can,” said Despard. “Maisie, my darling; God grant that you may never regret your generosity and goodness.” ”

“ Two days later came the afternoon of Lady Valence’s garden-party. It was one of the garden parties to which “everybody” went—Despard Norreys for one, as a matter of course. He had got more gratification and less annoyance out of his second meeting with Miss Fforde; for he flattered himself he knew how to manage her now—“that little girl in black, who thinks herself so wonderfully wise, forsooth!” ”

“ But he made no attempt to do more than bow quietly.
“You are very—cold, grim—no, I don’t know what to call it, Maisie, dear,” said the lady, her cousin and present chaperone, as they drove away, “in your manner to men; and that man in particular—Despard Norreys. It is not often he is so civil to any girl.”
“I detest all men—all young men,” replied Maisie irritably.
“But, my dear, you should be commonly civil. And he had been giving himself, for him, unusual trouble to entertain you.”
“Can he know about her? Oh, no, it is impossible,” she added to herself.
Miss Fforde closed her lips firmly. ”

“ And this particular year Mrs Englewood had smiled to herself at this point of the discussion.
“One can make plans even though one hasn’t daughters,” she reflected. “If Harry would let me ask him to dinner now—but I know there’s no chance of that. And, after all, a good deal may be done at an evening party. I should like to do Despard a good turn, and give him a start before any other. If I could give him a hint! But then there’s my promise to her father,—and Despard is sure to be sensitive on those points. ”

“ His face clouded over still more.
“And that’s the best even you can say of me?” he asked.
Mrs Selby hardly let him finish.
“No, no. I am blaming myself more than you,” she said quickly. “You are much—much better than you know, Despard. You are not selfish really. Think of what you have done for others; how consistently you have given up those evenings to that night school.”
“One a week—what’s that? And there’s no credit in doing a thing one likes. I enjoy those evenings, and it’s more than I can say for the average of my days.”
But his face cleared a very little as he spoke. ”

“ What has disappointed you?”
“I am not suited for anything but a quiet country life—that is all,” said Miss Fforde.
“But, then, Maisie, afterwards, you know, you will have to come to town and have a house of your own and all that sort of thing. It is necessary for you to see something of the world to prepare you for—”
“Afterwards isn’t now, Cousin Agnes. And I am doing my best, as papa wished,” said the girl weariedly. “Do let us talk of something else. Really sometimes I do wish I were any one but myself.”
“Maisie,” said her cousin reproachfully, “you know, dear, that isn’t right. ”

“ Besides, she said herself that she had been getting to like and trust me as a friend. Till to-day—has the change in her all come from what I said to-day? No girl can despise a man for the fact of his caring for her—what can it be? Good heavens, I feel as if I should go mad!”
And he wished that the pain in his head, which had somewhat subsided, would get worse again, if only it would stop his thinking.
But just then came the sound of wheels. In another moment Mrs Selby’s pony-carriage was in sight. Despard got off his stile, and walked slowly down the road to meet her. ”

“ In her place nine girls out of ten would have done so, and without troubling themselves to hide their indignation. But Maisie Fforde was not one of those nine. She rose quietly from her seat and took his arm.
“Yes,” she said, “it is our dance.”
Something in her voice, or tone, made him glance at her with a shade more attention than he had hitherto condescended to bestow on “Mrs Englewood’s protégée” She was looking straight before her; her features, which he now discovered to be delicate in outline, and almost faultlessly regular in their proportions, wore an expression of perfect composure ”

“ But Despard was honestly in love after all, as many better and many worse men have been before him, and will be again. And love of the best kind, which on the whole his was, is clairvoyant—he was not wrong about Maisie’s real sweetness.
“I do care for her, as deeply, as thoroughly as ever a man cared for a woman. But I don’t want to marry; it’s against all my plans and ideas. I didn’t want to fall in love either, for that matter. ”