Murray F. Yaco

“ Banner said. He got up from the chair, ran his hands compulsively through his recently short-cropped red hair, hung up the phone and shoved the orders into his co-pilot’s hands.
Harcraft read them over three times, then sank into the chair just vacated by Banner. Finally—while Banner poured them both a drink—he managed to blurt, “Potato fertilizer and tractor fuel—Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no!”
“Oh, yes, yes, yes,” Banner said bitterly. “We are heroes of the spaceways; yes, indeed. We train for ten years. Acquire great skill in the art of the patrol. ”

“ One thousand sleds, in tandem, were in proper orbit two hundred miles above Sedor II. Their orders provided for a landing on the planet and a short ship-leave, at the discretion of the ship’s pilot to refresh personnel.
Banner and Harcraft decided against landing. All necessary contact, now that they were out of hyperdrive, could be accomplished with the ship’s radio. Short planetfalls were, psychologically, more trouble than they were worth, often destroying the hard-earned, delicate space orientation which was their only defense against the abysmal boredom. ”

“ The orders always state that the ‘passenger’ will accompany pilot and co-pilot throughout the entire trip, will obey orders, yet is equal in rank to the ship’s commanding officer. The Bean Brain has no duties aboard. This seems to make sense, at least, since Bean Brains aren’t trained for anything and can’t do anything.”
“Item two,” said Banner, taking his eyes off the ceiling and pointing a finger at Arnold. “I have, or had, two good friends—both patrol captains—who had the honor of taxiing Bean Brains around the universe. One never came back. ”

“ Under what circumstances can a person as obviously intelligent as Arnold manage not to become a highly specialized member of society? And last, what kind of person can be so revoltingly unspecialized as to know, with fanatical certainty, that the main ingredient of a good potato fertilizer is ammonium nitrate ”

“ When he was through, both Banner and Harcraft turned him down flat. “Not a chance,” said Banner. It would take a week to set the thing up, and then it wouldn’t work. Our best chance is a long one, but maybe we’ll make it. We’re four weeks away from any fleet contact, but it’s the only sensible course of action.”
“That makes it a total of eight weeks, with four weeks to get back here. That’s two months,” said Arnold. ”

“ O.K. While our little friend has been lying on his bunk ruining his beady eyes on the micro-viewer, I’ve been asking myself significant questions. Question number one: What kind of person does it take to survive the inactivity and boredom of three, four, maybe six months in a space can like this? Answer: It takes a highly trained and conditioned person such as yours truly or yourself. ”

“ What kind of person can be so unspecialized and at the same time so miserably competent?”
“I give up. Do you really know the answer?”
“I know this. I know that whoever he is, it makes good sense to send somebody like him along with two overspecialized robots like us. Look at us. ”