Nicholas Udall

“ A mischiefe take his tokens, and him and thee too.
But what prate I with fooles? haue I nought else to doo?
Come in with me Sym Suresby to take some repast.
Sim Sure. I must ere I drinke by your leaue, goe in all hast,
To a place or two, with earnest letters of his.
C. Custance. Then come drink here with me.
Sim Sure. I thank you.
C. Custance. Do not misse
You shall haue a token to your maister with you.
Sym Sure. No tokens this time gramercies, God be with you. Exeat.
C. Custance. Surely this fellowe misdeemeth some yll in me.
Which thing but God helpe, will go neere to spill me. ”

“ Sir I pray you, what lorde or great gentleman is this?
Maister Ralph Roister Doister dame say I, ywis.
O Lorde (sayth she than) what a goodly man it is,
Woulde Christ I had such a husbande as he is.
O Lorde (say some) that the sight of his face we lacke:
It is inough for you (say I) to see his backe.
His face is for ladies of high and noble parages.
With whome he hardly scapeth great mariages.
With muche more than this, and much otherwise. ”

“ C. Custance. No God be with you both, and seeke no more to me. Exeat.
R. Royster. Wough, she is gone for euer, I shall hir no more see.
M. Mery. What weepe? fye for shame, and blubber? for manhods sake,
Neuer lette your foe so muche pleasure of you take.
Rather play the mans parte, and doe loue refraine.
If she despise you een despise ye hir againe.
R. Royster. By gosse and for thy sake I defye hir in deede.
M. Mery. Yea and perchaunce that way ye shall much sooner speede,
For one madde propretie these women haue in fey,
When ye will, they will not: Will not ye, then will they. ”

“ Yet of himselfe hath he suche opinion,
That in all the worlde is not the like minion.
He thinketh eche woman to be brought in dotage
With the onely sight of his goodly personage:
Yet none that will haue hym: we do hym loute and flocke,
And make him among vs, our common sporting stocke,
And so would I now (ko she) saue onely bicause,
Better nay (ko I) I lust not medle with dawes.
Ye are happy (ko I) that ye are a woman,
This would cost you your life in case ye were a man.
R. Royster. Yea an hundred thousand pound should not saue hir life. ”

“ Yea, but I can not so put loue out of my minde.
Math. Mer. But is your loue tell me first, in any wise,
In the way of Mariage, or of Merchandise?
If it may otherwise than lawfull be founde,
Ye get none of my helpe for an hundred pounde.
R. Royster. No by my trouth I woulde haue hir to my Wife.
M. Mery. Then are ye a good man, and God saue your life,
And what or who is she, with whome ye are in loue?
R. Royster. A woman whome I knowe not by what meanes to moue.
M. Mery. Who is it?
R. Royster. A woman yond.
M. Mery. What is hir name?
R. Royster. Hir yonder.
M. Mery. Whom. ”

“ But I perceyue thou doste me throughly knowe.
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M. Mery. I marke your maners for myne owne learnyng I trowe,
But suche is your beautie, and suche are your actes,
Suche is your personage, and suche are your factes,
That all women faire and fowle, more and lesse,
That eye you, they lubbe you, they talke of you doubtlesse,
Your p [l] easant looke maketh them all merie,
Ye passe not by, but they laugh till they be werie,
Yea and money coulde I haue the truthe to tell,
Of many, to bryng you that way where they dwell.
R. Royster. Merygreeke for this thy reporting well of mee:
M. Mery. ”

“ I knowe she loueth me, but she dare not speake.
M. Mery. In deede meete it were some body should it breake.
R. Royster. She looked on me twentie tymes yesternight,
And laughed so.
M. Mery. That she coulde not sitte vpright,
R. Royster. No faith coulde she not.
M. Mery. No euen such a thing I cast.
R. Royster. But for wowyng thou knowest women are shamefast.
But and she knewe my minde, I knowe she would be glad,
And thinke it the best chaunce that euer she had.
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M. Mery. Too hir then like a man, and be bolde forth to starte,
Wowers neuer speede well, that haue a false harte. ”

“ But of certaine letters there were suche words spoken.
T. Trustie. He tolde me that too.
C. Custance. And of a ring and token.
That Suresby I spied, dyd more than halfe suspect,
That I my faith to Gawyn Goodlucke dyd reiect.
T. Trusty. But there was no such matter dame Custance in deede?
C. Custance. If euer my head thought it, God sende me yll speede.
Wherfore I beseech you, with me to be a witnesse,
That in all my lyfe I neuer intended thing lesse,
And what a brainsicke foole Ralph Roister Doister is,
Your selfe know well enough.
T. Trusty. Ye say full true ywis.
C. Custance. ”

“ C. Custance. In deede I haue of yours much gay things God saue all.
R. Royster. Speake gently vnto hir, and let hir take all.
M. Mery. Ye are to tender hearted: shall she make vs dawes?
Nay dame, I will be plaine with you in my friends cause.
R. Royster. Let all this passe sweete heart and accept my seruice.
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C. Custance. I will not be serued with a foole in no wise,
When I choose an husbande I hope to take a man.
M. Mery. And where will ye finde one which can doe that he can?
Now thys man towarde you being so kinde,
You not to make him an answere somewhat to his minde.
C. Custance. ”

“ C. Custance. The Lorde strengthen hir most excellent Maiestie,
Long to reigne ouer vs in all prosperitie.
T. Trusty. That hir godly proceedings the faith to defende,
He may stablishe and maintaine through to the ende.
M. Mery. God graunt hir as she doth, the Gospell to protect,
Learning and vertue to aduaunce, and vice to correct.
R. Royster. God graunt hir louyng subiects both the minde and grace,
Hir most godly procedyngs worthily to imbrace.
Harpax. Hir highnesse most worthy counsellers God prosper,
With honour and loue of all men to minister. ”

“ M. Mery. Good happe is not hastie: yet in space com [e] th grace,
To speake with Custance your selfe shoulde be very well,
What good therof may come, nor I, nor you can tell.
But now the matter standeth vpon your mariage,
Ye must now take vnto you a lustie courage.
Ye may not speake with a faint heart to Custance,
But with a lusty breast and countenance,
That she may knowe she hath to answere to a man.
R. Royster. Yes I can do that as well as any can.
M. Mery. Then bicause ye must Custance face to face wowe,
Let vs see how to behaue your selfe ye can doe. ”

“ Christian Custance haue I founde,
A Wydowe worthe a thousande pounde,
I mun be maried a sunday.
Custance is as sweete as honey,
Custance is as sweete as honey,
I hir lambe and she my coney,
I mun be maried a Sunday.
When we shall make our weddyng feast,
When we shall make oure weddyng feast,
There shall bee cheere for man and beast,
I mun be maried a Sunday.
I mun be maried a Sunday, etc.
The Psalmodie
Lacebo dilexi,
Maister Roister Doister wil streight go home and die,
Our Lorde Iesus Christ his soule haue mercie vpon:
Thus you see to day a man, to morrow Iohn. ”