Owen Oliver

“ For example, my niece—she keeps house for me—turns me round her little finger in hundreds of things. But when you come to the big point, friend, the head of the house is the head of the house. And the King is the King! ”

“ If you ask me, you'll both see the inside of one of His Majesty's prisons."
"It's all the hospitality he provides," the crone raved, "ain't it? It's fine to be a king! Lives on the people, sucks the life out of 'em. And a palace for him, and for them—His Majesty's prisons! ”

“ Well, he should be!"
"Ah," said the King, "perhaps you don't know many court officials, and prime ministers, and queens—especially queens!"
"Many queens," the padre asserted. "Every woman is a queen to one man, and in her heart she wishes him to be king of her, I think. But women are not very easy to understand."
"I have noticed that," the King observed. "Yes, yes. ... But about the question of one's lot in life. That is what you are driving at. Now, I was thinking that the finer the material, the greater the worry. A tramp has more happiness and more freedom than a king. ”

“ An interesting discussion followed, the King holding that personal chastisement of wives was undesirable, and, at any rate, in the case of wives of the present-day upper class, out of the question, and the tramp urging that these most of all required it, "being hardest to hold in," though he admitted difficulties in applying his principles in cases of wives who were large and stronger than their husbands.
"Of course," he said, "there's a difference between a big man and a little one. What I say is, act as big as you can, and sometimes you'll come out bigger than you'd expect." ”

“ They just look up to me because I'm a man that puts his foot down. That's how you've got to settle things. You never stand anywhere with your foot in the air. Plunk it down somewhere, and there you are! Doesn't matter where very often. You're standing!"
"Ah!" said the King. "Yes, but the trouble is to make other people stand in the same place." He thought of the question of the uniform and sighed. "Now, suppose you had three mothers with a child each, and ail three had to be pressed alike——"
"Why should they be?" the landlord wanted to know. ”

“ The tramp piloted the King to his rendezvous. The King persuaded the tramp to accept sundry portraits of himself (stamped on coins) , which the tramp did not recognise. They shook hands warmly on parting.
"A most interesting man, Verodala," the King pronounced, as they drove away. "A singularly interesting man, with almost knightly instincts. Particularly acute views on social questions. As a soldier you would appreciate his views upon the maintenance of discipline in domestic establishments. It appears that tramps are very strict with their wives." ”

“ Well, if you mean it for a civil question, mister, a tramp is a chap that never does no work and never won't, and takes whatever he can lay hands on; and if you come across one, mind as he don't take them beautiful clothes of yourn! ”

“ I wonder whether the lower orders ever turn somersaults in later life? It would be interesting to know that, and how they live and look at things—possibly even instructive. The steam-engine came from watching a kettle. I was never allowed in the kitchen, or I might have invented something. ... Yes, I must mix with the people. In these old things I shall pass for one of themselves—say, a tramp! ”

“ He did not notice that the bull remained on his own side, but pushed through a prickly hedge, and ran on and on, till at last, in a little lane, he sank exhausted, panting loudly. A big rough man came out from behind a bush and dragged him through a hedge and behind a haystack, and carried him into a sort of burrow which he had made in it, and covered the opening with hay. ”