P. G. Wodehouse

“ My companion had vanished.
'Guard,' said I, as I handed him my ticket, 'where's the gentleman who travelled up with me?'
'Gentleman, sir? I haven't seen nobody.'
'Not a man in tweeds with red hair? I mean, in tweeds and owning red hair.'
'No, sir. You've been alone in the carriage all the way up. ”

“ Fact, I assure you. Why, think for a minute. Could a man capable of describing a fight as that fight is described, also be capable of stopping it just as the man the reader has backed all through is winning? It would be brutal. Positively brutal, sir!'
'Then, how do you explain it?'
'A year ago I could not have told you. Now I can. For five years I have been unravelling the mystery by the aid of that one clue. Listen. When Mr Hughes had finished part one, he threw down his pen and started to Wales for a holiday. ”

“ 'You see,' went on my companion, 'the difficulty about Tom Brown's Schooldays is this. It is obvious that part one and part two were written by different people. You admit that, I suppose?'
'I always thought Mr Hughes wrote the whole book.'
'Dear me, not really? ”