P. G. Wodehouse

“ Steve breathed a sigh of relief.
"Right, squire; we will," he said. "But I guess we had best leave a letter for Mamie, so's she won't be wondering where you've got to."
"Will Mamie be cross?"
"Not on your life. She'll be tickled to death."
He scribbled a few lines on a piece of paper and left them on the cot, from which William Bannister had now scrambled.
"Can you dress yourself?" asked Steve.
"Oh, yes." It was an accomplishment of which the White Hope was extremely proud. ”

“ Childhood is a readily adaptable time of life, and William Bannister, after a few days of blank astonishment, varied by open mutiny, had accepted the change in his surroundings and daily existence with admirable philosophy. ”

“ She's a prune, and what she says don't go. Do you want to know what a germ or a microbe—it's the same thing—really is? It's a fellow that has the best time you can think of. They've been fooling you, kid. They saw you were easy, so they handed it to you on a plate. I'm the guy that can put you wise about microbes."
"Tell me."
"Sure. Well, a microbe is a kid that just runs wild out in the country. He don't have to hang around in a white-tiled nursery and eat sterilized junk and go to bed when they tell him to. ”

“ A germ hates light, preferring to do his scoundrelly work when it is so black that you can't see your hand in front of your face and the darkness presses down on you like a blanket. Occasionally a fear would cross his mind that the night-light might go out ”

“ It makes it sort of hard for a guy to keep up what you might call a flow of talk. Still, you should worry. Why, don't you remember where you used to live before you came to this joint? Big, dusty sort of place, where you and me used to play around on the floor?"
The White Hope nodded.
"Well, wouldn't you like to do that again?"
"Yes."
"And be a regular microbe?"
"Yes."
Steve looked at his watch.
"Well, that's lucky," he said. "It happens to be exactly the right time for starting out to be one. That's curious, ain't it?"
"Yes."
"I've got a pal—friend, you know——"
"Is he a germ?" ”

“ He owns a garage. Place where automobiles live, you know. I asked him to bring out a car and wait around near by, because I might be taking a pal of mine—that's you—for a ride into the country to-night. ”