Philip Curtiss

“ The beautiful old tradition, however, was not entirely lost sight of in my case for, although not a burglar or even a thief, I did finally become a detective, a noble profession which calls for many of the same qualities, and, as I acquired a wife at the same time that I obtained a profession, my family has, at last, become entirely reconciled to what it was, at first inclined to regard as a lowering of the old home standards. ”

“ As every pawnbroker will remember, the Clayton monocle was a jewel absolutely unique and practically priceless. In the first place, it was a monocle so large that it could never have been intended for any human eye, which gave rise to the tradition that it had been designed originally for one of the now extinct race of giants living in the foothills of the Himalayas not far from the Afghan border. ”

“ Fagin, I think, was his hero; and the days when a man might be trustee in a bank one moment and a full-fledged burglar the next cut him to the quick. In addition to this, the Bertillon system, to say nothing of burglar insurance and the bankers' association, had put practical obstacles in the way of a climbing young man which had not existed when he was a boy; so that, on the whole, he advised his sons to embrace some less remunerative but quieter profession. ”

“ Blackmore, to take them in order, had once been a physician, but having noted the startling relation between disease and crime had given up his practice and had established an entirely new school of detection. By his theory, crime was simply a nervous disease, like St. Vitus' dance or philanthropy, and he maintained that, for every crime committed by the human race, he could find a diseased nerve cell and eradicate it as thoroughly as he would a tumor. ”

“ It was not until he asked whether I needed any money that I showed him the monocle and explained that I could not give it back to him until the pawnbroker had had a chance to correct his records.
"Quite right," he added again, "it's best to have everything shipshape. I always did it when I was in the business myself."
So, that night, Helen and I eloped, and my profession was found; but, before we went, I attended the conference presided over by Blackmore, who, with his colleagues, was overwhelmed with amazement when I produced the jewel. ”

“ The Mystery of the Missing Monocle
By PHILIP CURTISS
I HAVE always thought it a beautiful thing for a son to embrace the profession of his father—of his grandfather, too, if possible—and thus continue through generations, an occupation which a family has once made notable. However, when father and I talked it over, he thought it best that I should not embrace his. Father was a burglar. ”

“ So, granting that it was one or the other, the question is: first, if it were somebody inside the house, is the jewel still here? Or, second, if it were somebody outside the house (a) How did they get in? and (b) How did they get out?"
I then gathered in a general way that he had attributed the theft to a hypothetical man whom he called X. By a consultation of time-tables for trains running into town during the hours when the theft was committed, he had decided that X lived in Trenton, or thereabouts, had come to town on the 11:43 and had left for New York on the 5:59. ”

“ The sergeant paused and bit off a chew of tobacco.
"No," he replied, "I can't say that there are, but you might try old man Kinney, who lives up in the white house beyond the tavern. He's been locked up for arson once or twice, but I don't know what he is doing now. I haven't heard."
I THANKED him, gave him a cigar, and then went out to look for old man Kinney. I found him to be a picturesque, nasal-voiced Yankee pottering around the yard with a short-handled rake. I told him what the sergeant had said, which rather pleased him. and then introduced myself. ”