Robert Ervin Howard

“ Venus leads with her right. The Sheik countered and let drive a swing which Venus ducked, and slammed him with a right-and-left. They clinched and Venus hammered the Sheik on the back of the neck until he fainted. ”

“ Of course they marry and live happy forever after.
“Well,” says I thoughtfully, crammin’ the book into the stove, “I’m out one and a half cartwheels and she’s a touchin’, inspirin’ romance but she ain’t authentic; she ain’t true to life. Not none. Now, me, I’ll write a book which is true to life. Th’ misguided public needs it. It’s me duty.” So here goes.
The Sheik Chapter 1 Scene: The desert.
A thunder of horse-hoofs! A medley of yells. Oriental yells! Venus Herring was in full flight across the desert. She looked back. A tall handsome Arab on a magnificent mule was pursuing her! ”

“ He slung her across his saddle and galloped away. She struggled and screeched.
“Sit still, you little idiot!” he shouted, banging her nose against the saddle horn.
Chapter 2 Scene: The Sheik’s tent.
“I am the Sheik Ahmed!” announced the Arab, throwing Venus into a corner.
“Amid what?” she asked faintly.
“Don’t get fresh with me kiddo,” he warned [...] the Sheik Ahmed ben Ahmed ben Whoopitup.
“I love you!” he continued, dragging her around the tent by the hair. “You shall be mine!” slamming her down on the floor and masterfully kicking her in the face. ”