Robert Sheckley

“ Cercy could see Darrig stiffen in his chair and bite his lip. Cercy moved the automatic to a position where he could draw it easily. "How did you find us?" he asked.
"We ambassadors-at-large are each assigned an unexplored section of space," the alien said. "We examine each star-system in that region for planets, and each planet for intelligent life. Intelligent life is rare in the Galaxy, you know." ”

“ Although the psychological torture hadn't bothered the Ambassador, it seemed to have backfired on Cercy and his men.
"Where in hell is Darrig?"
"Still working on that idea of his," Malley said, rubbing his stubbled chin. "Says he's just about got it."
"We'll work on the assumption that he can't produce," Cercy said. "Start thinking. For example, if the Ambassador can turn into anything, what is there he can't turn into?"
"Good question," Harrison grunted.
"It's the payoff question," Cercy said. "No use throwing a spear at a man who can turn into one." ”

“ Malley handed Cercy a sheaf of papers. "This is the final formulation, boiled down."
Cercy read it aloud: "The simplest defense against any and all weapons, is to become each particular weapon."
"Great," Harrison said. "What does it mean?"
"It means," Darrig explained, "that when we attack the Ambassador with fire, he turns into fire. Shoot at him, and he turns into a bullet—until the menace is gone, and then he changes back again." He took the papers out of Cercy's hand and riffled through them. ”

“ Cercy said.
"Exactly. My telling you won't make any difference, either. The pattern is always the same. An Ambassador lands and delivers his message to a high-spirited, wild young race like yours. There is frenzied resistance against him, spasmodic attempts to kill him. After all these fail, the people are usually quite crestfallen. When the colonization team arrives, their indoctrination goes along just that much faster." He paused, then said, "Most planets are more interested in the philosophy I have to offer. ”

“ Cercy asked.
"There is a sending mechanism that is part of our structure," the Ambassador answered. "It is triggered when we reach an inhabited planet. This signal is beamed continually into space, to an effective range of several thousand light-years. Follow-up crews are continually sweeping through the limits of the reception area of each Ambassador, listening for such messages. Detecting one, a colonizing team follows it to the planet." ”

“ Cercy went on. "He told us that the basic organizing force of the Universe usually stopped things like that. What does that mean to you?"
"The organizing force," Malley repeated slowly. "Didn't Darrig say that that was a new natural law?"
"He did. But think of the implications, as Darrig did. If an organizing principle is engaged in some work, there must be something that opposes it. ”

“ Malley cried.
"That's it. The Ambassador is capable of an infinite number of alterations and permutations. But something—the matrix—can't change, because then there would be nothing left. To destroy something as abstract as a pattern, we need a state in which no pattern is possible. A state of chaos."
The third disrupter was thrown into circuit. The graph looked as if a drunken caterpillar had been sketching on it.
"Those disrupters are Harrison's idea," Cercy said. "I told him I wanted an electrical current with absolutely no coherent pattern. The disrupters are an extension of radio jamming. ”

“ Darrig asked innocently.
"Don't you know?"
"We think so. You become what is attacking you. Is that right?"
"Certainly," the Ambassador said. "You see, I have no secrets from you."
"Is there anything we can give you," Cercy asked, "to get you to turn off that signal?"
"A bribe?"
"Sure," Cercy said. "Anything you—?"
"Nothing," the Ambassador replied.
"Look, be reasonable," Harrison said. "You don't want to cause a war, do you? Earth is united now. We're arming—"
"With what?"
"Atom bombs," Malley answered him. "Hydrogen bombs. We're—"
"Drop one on me," the Ambassador said. "It wouldn't kill me. ”

“ Haven't you ever heard the story of Metal Old Man? Well, he was a monster covered with black metal armor. He was met by Monster-Slayer, an Apache culture hero. Monster-Slayer, after many attempts, finally killed Metal Old Man. ”

“ Cercy snatched the book from Malley, looked up one item, and put it down.
"Great work," he said. "We're all set now. Finished, Harrison?"
"Just about." Harrison and ten helpers were screwing in the last parts. "Will you tell me what this is?"
"Me too," Malley put in.
"I don't mean to be secretive," Cercy said. "I'm just in a hurry. I'll explain as we go along." He stood up. "Okay, let's wake up the Ambassador."
hey watched the screen as a bolt of electricity leaped from the ceiling to the Ambassador's bed. Immediately, the Ambassador vanished. ”