Theodore Winthrop

“ Economy must be consulted. That crafty counsellor suggested that Plato’s helpers in the stable should be discharged, and he do three men’s work. He was allowed, however, Bilsby juvenissimus and another urchin from the Manor to “chore” for him. They were unpaid attachés. They did free service as stable-boys, for the honor and education of the thing, for the privilege of chewing straws among the horses, and for the luxury of a daily bellyful of pork and pudding, and a nightly bed in the loft. ”

“ They were both chewing straws, — a pair of dull sharps, like most young clodhoppers. They could tell a calf from a colt with supernatural keenness; but were of the class which gets itself well Peter-Funked before its manhood learns the time of day.
“Dey’s fat, ragged, and sassy as ary boys dis chile ever seed,” rejoined Plato.
“Bery weakly dey looks,” continued the conspirator. “Fallin’ away horrible! Neber see sich sickly boys ’n all my born days. Chestnuts is what dey wants. Worms is de trouble. Boys always gits worms onless dey eats suthin on to a bushel of chestnuts in de fall.” ”

“ She put sugar in her soup and salt in her pudding. She sowed allspice for peppercorns, and vice versa. She overdid the meat that should have been underdone. She roasted her goose until its skin was plate armor. She baked her piecrust hard as Westchester shale. Yesterday’s dinner was sublime; to-day’s would be ridiculous. Conspiracy upsets domestic economy, as it does political.
When Voltaire had deranged his wife with dark hints, he proceeded to perplex his son.
Plato was lord of the stables. These were times of war. ”