Thomas Andrew Lehrer

“ Take me back to dear old Dixie,
That's the only li'l ol' place for li'l ol' me.
Old times there are not forgotten,
Whuppin' slaves and sellin' cotton,
And waitin' for the Robert E. Lee
⁠ (It was never there on time) . ”

“ Yes, for paradise the Southland is my nominee.
Jes' give me a ham hock and a grit of hominy.
I wanna start relaxin'
Down in Birmingham or Jackson.
When we're havin' fun, why, no one interferes.
I wanna talk with southern gentlemen
And put my white sheet on again.
I ain't seen one good lynchin' in years.
The land of the boll weevil
Where the laws are medieval,
Is callin" me to come and nevermore roam.
I wanna go back to the Southland,
That "y'all" and "shet-ma-mouth" land.
Be it ever so decadent,
There's no place like home. ”