W. W. Jacobs

“ When he rose the steamer was twenty yards ahead.
"Go astarn!" yelled the mate.
"How can I go astarn when there's nobody at the engines?" shouted the skipper as he hung on to the wheel and brought the boat's head sharply around. "Git a line ready."
The mate, with a coil of rope in his hand, rushed to the side, but his benevolent efforts were frustrated by the engineer, who, seeing the boat's head making straight for him, saved his life by an opportune dive. The steamer rushed by. ”

“ What the thunder are you doing?"
"Picking up my engineer," replied the captain, as he steamed right across the other's bows and nearly ran down a sailing barge, the skipper of which, a Salvation Army man, was nobly fighting with his feelings.
"Why don't you stop?" he yelled.
" 'Cos I can't," wailed the skipper of the Bulldog, as he threaded his way between a huge steamer and a schooner, who, in avoiding him, were getting up a little collision on their own account.
"Ahoy, Bulldog, ahoy," called the mate, "stand by to pick us up. We've got him." ”

“ By this time the commotion in the river was frightful, and the captain's steering, as he went on his round again, something marvelous to behold. A strange lack of sympathy on the part of brother captains added to his troubles. Every craft he passed had something to say to him, busy as they were, and the remarks were as monotonous as they were insulting. ”