Zoë Blade

“ Rebecca scrunched her face up for a split second.
"I like you," pointed out Faye.
"Yeah, but not like like. Not like you like boys."
Faye made an effort to look away from Rebecca's soft cheeks and her perfect lips. "What's meant to be so good about boys, anyway?"
"They have their moments," said Rebecca. "Some of them do, anyway. Maybe not the ones in our class, but once they're a bit older, maybe."
"Sounds like a long wait." Faye kept her gaze on the floor.
"They just take a few more years to grow up, is all. ”

“ Rebecca took a bite out of her sandwich.
"It's not healthy to be so pushy, either." Faye forced herself to start eating her lunch; she wasn't feeling hungry.
"Sorry," said Rebecca. She took a sip of her drink. "It's just that it's not the same without you during swimming lessons. Who else am I going to tease?"
"I'm sure there must be someone," said Faye.
Rebecca looked up as she thought to herself. "How come you're not allowed to go swimming with us, anyway? Just because you haven't started puberty yet? I mean, Jenny's way behind everyone else too and she still goes swimming." ”

“ It was an age old condition, her parents had told her. In a funny sort of way, they'd said, she was lucky to have been born when she was. As recently as a few decades earlier, people with her medical issue had to work it out for themselves after decades and sometimes even lifetimes of mental anguish. Nowadays it was something your doctor told your parents at birth.
"I know you don't exactly like your body," said her father.
"I look like a freak," muttered Faye.
"That's not true," said her mother sharply. "You look just as lovely as any of your friends." ”

“ Eww, thought Faye as she opened her eyes and groped around for her Digitac player's stop button, overwhelmed by the two sets of images competing in her head. She pressed it just in time. Suddenly, the bright blue sky was replaced with the various posters of female rock stars that lined her bedroom's walls. The chattering of passers-by came to an abrupt end, and in its place she could hear the dull murmur of her parents' old fashioned flatscreen television downstairs. ”

“ Besides, she couldn't bear the thought of giving a complete stranger, someone who didn't even exist yet, all of her emotional baggage. The memories of trying to cope with her birth defect, of trying to make sense of it, and of being constantly bullied at school because of her differences... ”

“ The large hall smelled of cabbages, potatoes and baked beans, and everyone else was talking and eating and moving chairs so loudly that Faye could hardly hear herself think.
"Just ignore them," suggested Rebecca.
Faye didn't say anything. She opened her lunchbox and fished around in her deep blazer pockets for her medication. She teased a pill out of the bottle and washed it down with some orange squash from her Helen Fryer thermos flask.
"It's not healthy to have secrets, you know." Rebecca peered across at her, trying to make out the label on the bottle. ”

“ Her mother's voice became unusually soft and quiet. "You're going to have to make a choice."
"What kind of choice?" asked Faye, her eyes still fixed on the floor. She could feel them welling up already.
Her father piped up. "We can give you some other pills that will give your body the oestrogen it ought to be producing. They'll make you look more like your friends, you know, put some weight on your hips and..." ”