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George Carlin quotes

English (14)

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“Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.” George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty
“The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.” George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty
“Most people don't know what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.” George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked!” George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty
“You see, I've got this real moron thing I do, it's called 'thinking.' And I guess I'm not a very good American, because I like to form my own opinions; I don't just roll over when I'm told.” George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty
“Have you ever noticed that when you're drivin', anyone goin' slower than you is an idiot? And anyone goin' faster than you is a maniac?” George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty
“The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.” George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty
“Here's all you need to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?
“The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.” George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty
“People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.” George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty
“Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?” George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty
“If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase.” George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?
“I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.” George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty
“They say that rather than cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. They don't mention anything about cursing a lack of candles.” George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

Related topics

women thinking stupidity self men intelligence ignorance work music madness talking existence darkness humanity peace appearance light dancing driving others

Related sources

Napalm & Silly Putty (11)
When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? (3)