John Howard Payne and Washington Irving

“ Lady C. Ah, me! I fear, like many other of your flames, it will but end in smoke.—You talk of being desperately in love,—what proof have you ever given?
Roch. What proof? Am I not ready to give the greatest proof a man can offer—to lay down this sweet bachelor life, and commit matrimony for your sake?
Lady C. Well, this last, I must say, coming from a Rochester, is a most convincing proof. I have heard you out, listen now to me. (Rochester bows.) I will propose a bargain.—If, by your ascendancy over the king, you can disgust him with these nocturnal rambles, and bring him back to reason—
Roch. ”

“ Will young Love dwell.
Love's home's the heart alone,
That heart, too, all his own.
Else, Love, farewell!
(Enter Copp, pulling in Edward, who tries to hide his face.)
Copp. Come along, young man—don't be so bashful—you need n't mind us.
Edw. (aside) . Let me put on a steady face— (aloud) —You come to speak to his majesty?
Mary. Yes, Sir, we come— (apart) —Dear uncle, those features—how my heart beats!—Did you ever see such a resemblance, uncle?
Copp (looking at Edward) . Oddsfish! he is like, indeed!—But it can't be him!
Mary. I like Mr. Georgini's face better—it is more animated. ”

“ And I, my liege, (Bowing to Lady Clara) will mortify myself with matrimony, and hope to reform into a very rational and submissive husband. (Taking Lady Clara's hand.)
Chas. There yet remains a party to be disposed of. What say you, Captain Copp?—What say you, my Lord of Rochester? Must we not find a husband for our niece?
Copp. Fair and softly, your majesty—craving your majesty's pardon, I can't give up my right over my little girl. This lord is an uncle—I can't gainsay it; but he's a new-found uncle.—I have bred her, and fed her, and been her uncle all her life, haven't I, Mary? ”

“ Mary. Ah, my good uncle, you are always so careful of me.
Copp. And why not? What else have I in the whole world to care for, or to care for me? Thou art all that's left to me out of the family fleet—a poor slight little pinnace. I've seen the rest, one after another, go down; it shall go hard but I'll convoy thee safe into port.
Mary. I fear I give you a great deal of trouble, my dear uncle.
Copp. Thou'rt the very best lass in the whole kingdom, and I love thee as I loved my poor brother; that's because you're his very image. ”

“ Copp. Gingerbread finery! I would not change the bar-room of the Grand Admiral for the best of them. But what a bother to give a watch back to the right owner! Why, there's no finding the king in his own house.—Now, for my part, I always stand on the threshold, and if any one comes, there's my hand.—Tip us your bone, says I, and make yourself welcome.—That's what I call acting like a king of good fellows.
Mary. Oh, uncle, I have always heard say, that the king is very kind and affable; and, I dare say, when you hand him back his watch, he will behave with generosity. ”

“ Copp. What, Mary, my little blossom, what cheer? what cheer? Keep close, my little heart—why do you stir out of port? Here be cruisers abroad.
Mary. Who are those people, uncle, that make such a noise?
Copp. Two hearty blades—mad roysters—oons how they drink. I was obliged to part company, old cruiser as I am, or they would soon have had me on my beam ends.
Mary. Are they sailors, uncle?
Copp. To be sure they are: who else would fling about money as they do, and treat a whole bar-room? The tallest in particular is a very devil. ”

“ Mary. Hush, I entreat you—I will speak for you— (Takes his place, her eyes still modestly cast down.) My uncle has thought it his duty to inform your majesty, that two strangers came to his house last night, and after calling for a great deal of wine, were unable to pay, and went off, leaving a valuable watch in pledge, which has proved to belong to your majesty. (Rochester and Lady Clara in bye play express great delight at the manner of Mary.)
Copp. (Apart, rubbing his hands.) Oh! bless her! she talks like a book.
Mary. My uncle being an honest man, has brought the watch to your majesty. ”

“ Psha! I'm a foolish old fellow, and when I have got punch, and sensibility, and all that on board—Come, let's talk of something else.
Mary. My dear uncle—
Chas. I don't wonder at your loving her, I can't help feeling a kind of admiration for her myself— (offering to take her hand) .
Copp. Softly, shipmate, no grappling—admire at a distance as much as you please, but hands off. Come, my lads, a merry song—I love to sing when I drink. (Sings.)
In the time of the Rump,
As old Admiral Trump—
Mary. ”

“ Edward?
Edw. (confused) . My lord Rochester—
Roch. Silence, you rogue! I am no lord here, no Rochester. I am a seaman—my name Tom Taffrel. The king, my messmate, is Jack Mizen.
Edw. The king with you!— (aside) . I see it all—he's after Mary—ah! I am lost.
Roch. Don't be alarmed, friend Georgini; none but the most innocent motives have brought us here—
Edw. Innocent motives bring you and the king, at night, to a tavern in Wapping, where there is a beautiful girl? Ah! my lord, my lord—
Roch. ”

“ Is not thy appearance in a neighborhood a signal for all the worthy burghers to bar their windows and put their womankind under lock and key?—Art thou not, in melancholy truth, the most notorious seapegrace in the kingdom? ”

“ Copp. No, no, in a civil way, no, certainly; I can make allowance when a lad and a lass, and a bottle, come pretty near each other—odds fish—you say right, at your age, I was a rattler myself.—Come, Mary, no harm done. Come, lads, take your seats— (They seat themselves. Edward attempts to place himself by Mary.—Charles interferes, and takes the place.) Come, my girl, pour out the tea—I'll fill out the punch, and we'll have a time of it, i'faith—Come, I'll give you a jolly song to begin with— (Sings.) ”

“ Mary. Mercy on me! what will become of us?
Copp. (To Mary.) Let me alone—it's one of the king's mad frolics—but never you mind—I'll get you off— (Aloud.) Your majesty will not be angry with my little fool of a niece. The two strangers might be very worthy people—many a man has a gallows look, and is an honest fellow for all that.—The truth is, they were a brace of merry wags.—Besides, if I had known for certain, I would n't for the world—ha! ha!—because, d'ye see—honour bright—mum! (Turning to Mary.) Come, I think I've got you pretty well out of the scrape, hey? ”

“ This Copp seems a man of probity, suppose I avow myself to him? Um! will he credit me, and will he keep the matter secret? This sturdy veteran may be an old cruiser under the Commonwealth: if so, what have I not to apprehend? Alone—unarmed, at midnight (shaking his head) . Charles! Charles! wilt thou never learn wisdom? Yes; let me but get out of this scrape, and I renounce these rambling humours for ever. (A noise of unlocking the door.) Hark! some one comes.
(Enter Edward and Mary. Several Servants quaintly dressed, and armed, appear at the door.) ”

“ Copp. (apart) . My neighbour seems rather in a quandary.
Chas. (feeling more eagerly) . Some one has picked my pocket.
Copp. Avast there, friend—none but honest people frequent the Grand Admiral.— (Apart.) I begin to suspect this spark, who spends so freely, is without a stiver in his pocket.
Chas. All I know, is, that one of these honest people must have taken my purse.
Copp. Come, come, messmate—I am too old a cruiser to be taken in by so shallow a manoeuvre—I understand all this—your companion makes sail—you pretend to have been robbed—it's all a cursed privateering trick—clear as day. ”

“ Lady C. Ah! why does not your majesty take more care of yourself? You devote yourself too much to your people. This night-work will be too much for you.
Chas. Why, yes, if it were often as severe as last night.
Lady C. Indeed, your majesty must give up these midnight labours to your ministers.
Chas. (apart) . To my ministers, ha! ha! Egad! I should like to see old Clarendon and Ormond hob or nobbing with uncle Copp, struggling for kisses with Mary, and scouring the lanes of Wapping at full speed.— (aloud) . ”

“ Copp. A pretty sailor, truly—not know the name of his ship—a downright swindler—a barefaced impudent swindler—comes into my house, kicks up a bobbery, puts every thing in an uproar—treats all the guests—touzles my niece—and then wants to make off without paying.
Chas. (apart) . How shall I get out of this cursed scrape?—Oh, happy thought, my watch— (aloud) hearkee. Captain Copp—if I have n't money, may be this will do as well—what say you to my watch as pledge?
Copp (taking the watch) . ”

“ I wonder is it myself, or my niece, this chap has fallen in love with at first sight?
Chas. (apart to Rochester) . I am curious to know what charge they have against you.
Roch. (apart to Charles) . And so am I, and I'll make this old buccaneer speak plain, before we leave him.
Chas. You have misunderstood me, friend Copp. I am no defender of Rochester. I know him to be a sad fellow.
Copp. As destitute of feeling as a stock-fish.
Edw. He is a great genius, however.
Copp. He is an evil genius, I know.
Edw. He has a very clear head—
Copp. But a very black heart. ”

“ Mary. But, that's not the point, uncle.
Copp. Eh! true, very true, always keep to the point, like a good helmsman. First and foremost, then, you must know, my lord—when I say my lord, I mean your majesty. ”

“ The idea of "Captain Copp" constantly trying to sing a song, and never being able to complete it, was conceived by Irving to meet the English taste for broad fun. In the introduction by Payne in the edition of 1824 he refers to the literary friend to whom he is "indebted for invaluable touches."
The work of both authors had as a model, a French play, La Jeunesse de Henri V, by Alexandre Duval (1760-1838) , one of the leading dramatists of France at the time. ”

“ Hollo, Captain Copp, cries he every minute, another bottle to treat my brother tars.
Mary. By their swaggering about so, they must be very rich.
Copp. Pho, child, 't is n't the deepest laden ships that make the most rolling.
Mary. But they spend their money so freely.
Copp. A sure sign that it's running out. The longest cable must come to an end. He that pays out fastest, will soonest be brought up with a round turn. ”

“ Clari, or the Maid of Milan, an opera, derives its interest chiefly from the fact that it contains the song of "Home, Sweet Home." It was first played at Covent Garden, May 8, 1823, and at the Park Theatre, New York, November 12, 1823.
Charles the Second or The Merry Monarch was first played at the Theatre Royal, Covent Garden, London, May 27, 1824. It was acted at the Park Theatre, New York, October 25, 1824.
The comedy is of especial interest on account of Washington Irving's joint authorship in it. Irving collaborated more than once with Payne but insisted on his share being concealed. ”

“ But, thunder and lightning! what keeps the king so long?
Edw. I think I hear him. Step into that apartment—a lady will introduce you.
Copp. Ah! the same that I saw at the window;—very well. But, I say. Mister, don't keep me waiting. Just hint to the king, that I've no time to lose. Tell him, there's a launch at Wapping to-day—busy times at the Grand Admiral.
Mary. Let us retire, uncle. I dare say we shall be sent for in good time.
Copp. Very well, very well. But, do think of the Grand Admiral—all aback for want of me. If the king loses his watch again, the devil take me—Oh! ”

“ Mary. But they are such a couple of harebrains—
Copp. Oh! don't be afraid—they are rough, but good-natured—sailor-like: besides, am not I always within hail? One of them, I see, is heaving in sight already. Come with me, my girl, and help to prepare the punch and get the tea—you, my king of crotchets, will stay and receive our guests—make yourself at home.— (Sings as he goes.) "In the time of the Rump"—
(Exeunt Copp and Mary.) ”

“ Edw. (low to Mary) . Don't let him touch your hand, or you are lost.
Mary (drawing back) . He does not look so very ferocious, neither. Fie, sir, fie! what, steal the jewels of the crown?
Chas. Is it, then, known already?
Mary. Yes, indeed, all is known. My uncle took the watch to our neighbour, the jeweller, who knew it instantly. It belongs to his royal majesty himself.
Chas. Confusion!
Edw. (low to Mary) . You hear he confesses.— (Aloud.) Well, Captain Copp will be here presently with the magistrate. Here will be a fine piece of work. All Wapping is already in an uproar. ”

“ Copp. Guns and blunderbusses! this is running up an account with a vengeance (looking out of the window) . I see something in the offing; we may overhaul him yet. Come along, all hands to the chase! Get to your room, Mary, there's no knowing what might happen if this pirate should fall foul of you again. Come along—away with you all—divide at the street door—scour the three passages—I'll show him what it is to come in the way of an old cruiser!— (Bustle—Copp fires off his gun out of the window after Charles. Curtain falls.)
END OF ACT SECOND.
ACT THIRD.
Scene. ”

“ Chas. With all my heart. (Apart.) It's odd that he should leave me alone—my raillery has galled him.—Poor Rochester, (laughing,) how ill some people take a joke! (feeling in his pockets) . Five pounds ten, you say?
Copp. Just so—five pounds ten.
Chas. (searching in all his pockets) . Well! this is the oddest thing—I am certain I had my purse. ”