Katharine McDowell Rice

“ A. Oh, Miss Simpkins, please don’t, I did n’t mean anything, I might just as well have said what sister Rowena ain’t. Sister Rowena ’s never going to marry. She said people could do just as much good ’thout bein’ married, And she’s goin’ to the heathen some day and take me with her. Please don’t be mad at me, Miss Simpkins. Rowena says we must never let people stay mad at us. We must n’t let the little mad grow into a big mad, but we must take it right at the beginning and tell any one we ’re sorry, and ask them to forgive us. ”

“ Nothing sister Sarah did ever surprised me so much as this. To be sure, she married a rich man, but she allus said she was goin’ to, and so nobody was much surprised. But Roweny has allus said she was n't goin’ to marry anybody. She allus said she wanted to go as a missionary to the heathens, and I don’t see how she come to change her mind.
Mrs. R. Well, I guess it would change anybody’s mind to get a millionaire as easy as Roweny ’s got hers.
Mrs. D. There goes Miss Simpkins. I must tell her the news. [Motions frantically from window]
Enter Miss Simpkins, in great concern. ”

“ Well, I guess if Roweny’s children get thirty-three thousand apiece I need n’t worry over ‘em. Good-by, Mrs. Tubbs. Sorry to have you leave the neighborhood, but you ’ll find it nice up on Fifth Avenue. I was up there once. The streets is wider than these, and it's quite a different place. I’m told there ain’t the runnin’ from house to house that there is here at the Corner, and that people ain’t over-neighborly, and don't sometimes speak to people livin’ right on the same block ”

“ Children. Oh?!
Amelia. [Pertly] Was it from Aunt Sarah?
Mrs. R. No; it was from Roweny.
A. I did n’t know she had a telegrapht. I thought only Aunt Sarah had a telegrapht.
Mrs. R. [Impressively] Roweny will have everything your Aunt Sarah ever had.
A. [Whimpering] Has Aunt Sarah died?
Mrs. R. No, child, [Goes to Amelia] Stop crying. Nobody said your Aunt Sarah had died.
A. [Nods] You said Roweny was to have all her things.
Mrs. R. I said no such thing. Roweny will have as much as your Aunt Sarah ever had. Listen. Do you know what a millionaire is? ”

“ Raven now, and she might be offended if she come in and found you readin’ it. Mrs. Raven does all the readin’ for the house. You know Mrs. Raven? [Boy shakes hes head negatively] Well, you will when you see her, ’cause she allus dresses in black. ”

“ And some day I shall send for you, Amelia, as I promised. And Miss Simpkins, I think there is a fine opening for you there to teach sewing in one of the girls’ schools. In fact, there is work for all of us—even for my three dear step-children.
Mrs. R. What is your husband worth?
R. [Laughs] Worth his weight in gold,
Miss S. We got the impression you had married a man with lots of money.
R. Money? Well,hardly. The Board allows us a nice salary—all we shall need. [Mrs. Raven hands Rowena the telegram]
R. [Reads] “Have married a millionaire.” [Laughs merrily] A millionaire! ”

“ Three children, Return home Thursday next.”
Miss S. Well, I don’t envy her with three children to bring up. But I will say Rowena Tubbs will make a good step-mother.
Mrs. R. I’ve always said as how something good would come to Roweny Tubbs from her bein’ so faithful to Sunday meetin’.
Mrs. T. [On verge of tears] She allus went twice a day.
Mrs. R. She always went, whatever the weather and [Looks significantly at Miss Simpkins] whether she had a new hat or not. But here comes the children. They must hear the news, But it can be broke different to children. They never take anything hard. ”

“ What’s your answer, Amelia?
A. [Glibly] I don’t know yet. I have n’t counted up. It depends on where I put this dot. If I put it here [Makes large dot] , the answer is thirty-three cents; and if I put it here, it is three dollars and thirty-three cents; and if I put it here, it’s thirty-three dollars and thirty-three cents; and if I put it here, it ’s three hundred and thirty-three dollars and—
Mrs. R. Well, that ’s gettin’ more likely, ‘cause it don’t stand to reason that those children has got a millionaire for a father and only thirty-three cents apiece. ”