William Cookson

“ The French come on the stage in a quiet manner, as if nobody was watching; they join in the conversation, as if nobody was listening but the actors, and they move about as if they were in a room. They have much saluting and kissing of foreheads and both cheeks, which they do gracefully, and naturally too, for it is the daily custom among relations, and sometimes among friends when they meet even in the streets. ”

“ But I am running away from the French army. Not that I am afraid of it. Our men can do their duty as of old; and our officers, being better educated and drinking less, are probably not much inferior to, or less clear in the head than Wellington and his lieutenants. But if we are allowed to do so, we ought to rest contented under the stock of our old laurels. The fortune of war is a curious element in the chances of a campaign, and as we have everything to lose by a war, I would rather have any other nation for an enemy than the French. ”

“ But when Auguste crosses the stage, and follows her into the bed-room—knowing, as we all do, that he is capable of any mortal thing—I felt Marguerite’s heart thumping against my arm, and when I looked round the girl was as white as a sheet.
Two years are supposed to have elapsed, and in the last tableau Marie and Dubois (who, of course, was not killed by the jump from the window) appear in a drawing-room with the rest of the characters. She is dressed in a drab moire, with one deep flounce trimmed with crimson velvet. This is her eighth change during the piece—one more beautiful than another. ”

“ The thoughts of them make French blood to boil, French teeth to grind, and French hearts to beat with hopes of retaliation some day. They do not care the least about the other Allies having been twice to Paris, because the old Emperor sent armies, or went himself, to their capitals whenever he pleased. But a French army has not been to London yet. It is therefore the day-dream of the army and of all ranks of society, and its feasibility is never doubted for a moment. A war with England would be the most popular of all wars ”

“ Sometimes even with my cosmopolitan palate— (and the best of everything is good enough for me) ,—I did not quite like the dishes, and the meat was not always of the best quality— (English beef and mutton rather spoil a fellow for the Continent) ,—yet a dish was seldom put before me at a Restaurant that was not well cooked, and delicately seasoned.
If a man has a delicate palate and knows how to order a dinner; if he has a stomach perhaps a little on the wane; if he wishes to leave the table without the feeling of being loaded, but with an inclination to dance, he ought to live in Paris. ”

“ In London, the person with his right-hand to the wall is entitled to keep it, and even then he will get knocked about a good deal towards the City. In Paris the promenaders take the wall, or not, as it suits them; and yet, in the business parts of Paris, men seldom jostle each other, and when they do, both parties may be seen hurrying on, but bowing with hats off and muttering apologies long after they have passed each other. And in a theatre, or other public place, men not only are as courteous to females as in a drawing-room, but extend the same urbanity to each other. ”

“ Young France is learning English with a French accent which gives our language a peculiar cadence; but the generation just beginning to pass away, to which Blot belongs, thought French enough to pass a man through the whole world.
It may be taken as a rule that a man never learns the language of a nation that learns his, and vice versâ—man never works when another will work for him. Everybody learns French, and a Frenchman seldom, if over, speaks any language but his own. Nobody learns Russ, and the Russians are the best linguists in the world. ”

“ There is a general impression among alarmists, military as well as civil, that the Emperor of the French has only to succeed in landing an army on our coast, and then to march in one column straight to London. But there are certain rules of war, which, though they may be modified by circumstances, have been the same in all ages; and no general, let alone a French general, who always thinks as much of his own fame as of the glory of France, dare act contrary to these rules. ”

“ It is a rule in marching, that to enable troops to arrive at the end of a long march without stragglers and in an efficient state, ready to go into action at once, they must all march with the slowest. As soon as the slow men are over-paced, they fall out, and the longer the march the more the regiment becomes inefficient. Spirit may carry on an out-paced soldier for a few days, but his heart soon fails, as does the heart of a horse, when put into harness with a quicker and an easier stepper than himself. ”

“ Like all untravelled people he thinks that his country is the most beautiful and the most glorious in all the world; that the natives are the most enlightened and civilised; and that Paris is everything that is attractive, and gay. ”

“ The more courteous men are to each other, the more despotic is the government; and vice versa. Thus, to take two extremes, when the traveller from his window observes the natives pushing and jostling, and grunting salutes with their hands in their pockets, as they do in England and the United States, he may be sure that the institutions of the country are free and enlightened; and he may be sure of the contrary when he sees men wearing out the rims of their hats in courteous salutations. ”

“ A regiment of the hardiest and most active men are but men. They cannot all be of one age and of one constitution. The strongest fall sick, and when they return from hospital and are outpaced in the first march under a hot sun, they fall out and become stragglers.
When I see, or am told by a witness who has seen, a French division march fifteen miles in a broiling sun, in heavy marching order, and then march for three miles more into action at the pas accéléré, and keep their formation to the end, and have no stragglers, I will believe in it,—“Mais il faut le voir pour le croire.” ”

“ However much we may surpass our neighbours in our respect for political order, they show as much, if not more, respect for social order. Though their blood may be boiling at the acts of the police, in its political capacity, their submission is seldom asked twice when the police is employed for the purposes of social order in the streets, at a race-course, or in a theatre. ”

“ I was puzzled for a long time how to account for a genius like Louis Velay failing in anything that he undertook, for he lives in the room next to mine, and reads very hard—until I found out that he had the perversity of giving his whole mind, by fits and starts, to subjects not required in his examination. Music, for instance, on which science he talks very learnedly, though he does not sing or play any instrument. The French not being very strong in modern languages, he is only required to take up a little bit of German ”

“ A Frenchman does not assume it, for he has it naturally, and in the ordinary conversation of daily life he has as much manner as an Englishman assumes on the stage. Without this assumed manner English acting would look bald and cold. Hence it is that the French do not appear to be acting in light or genteel comedy, for nothing more is required of them but their natural manner, whereas our actors always seem to be acting a part. ”

“ A spectator may be amused, but he is not expected to applaud more than he would do in a drawing-room. Those men in front of us, in the first and second rows of the pit, are the claqueurs—that is their chêf with the diamond breastpin—and they do all the applause. They pay nothing for their places, and receive a small allowance from the actors: a curious system, but it saves a deal of confusion. The audience is very well behaved, great courtesy being shown to ladies. ”

“ A dinner at a table d’hôte, even at the best hotels, is a tedious business, and to me not a very pleasing process. It generally struck me that the dinner would be more agreeable, if the dishes were a third less in number, of a little better quality, and not quite so cold. Besides there are few tables d’hôte at less than three francs, without attendance or wine, which last a guest is expected to drink for the good of the house.
This was more than I could afford, so there was nothing left for me but the Restaurants, establishments in which the French can give lessons to all nations. ”

“ Nations are apt to forget their reverses; but the French totally ignore the history of all campaigns in which they have had the worst of it, and their history, as written by themselves, progresses by stepping from one success to the next. ”

“ However, the French are naturally proud of an army that, within the present century, has been to every capital in Europe—except London. And here French vanity—a passion of which we proud islanders have no conception—supplies them with the soothing conviction that the Emperor has nothing to do but to land an army on the English coast and march straight to London. ”

“ When they have to act gentlemen (a difficult part for them, as they have no very clear idea of what we call gentlemen, the word gentilhomme only extending to birth and dress,) they look and play the part as well as Frenchmen can, and it is only now and then that we see a Frenchwoman on the stage that does not look like a lady. Whereas our actresses have left an impression on my mind that they are lady’s-maids promoted.
The French are great play-goers. Being good judges of acting they go to see the play, and to be amused, and therefore make a most attentive audience. ”

“ The first thing that strikes an English officer is the slovenly manner in which French troops march and carry the firelock. Even in the streets of Paris they do not pay the music or drums the compliment of marching in step. Nothing appears to be required of them, but to keep the correct wheeling distance of the formation, and to carry the firelock on the named shoulder. An English militia regiment, after a month’s training, marches more regularly, and has a better parade use of the firelock than the French Infantry. ”

“ We may rest assured that if he ever finds his popularity on the wane, and his throne slipping from under him, he will play the last and greatest card in his hand, and declare war against England. If he fails, he is in statu quo ante bellum, but a great success by sea and then by land makes him in glory second only to his uncle. ”

“ The French army bears another and a great contrast to ours. Their officers are soldiers by profession, and ours too frequently enter the service for amusement and temporary occupation. Many of the former have risen from the ranks, and there are but a few who have any means besides their pay; their hopes in this world are in promotion and glory; when they lose their pay as officers, they become waiters at hotels and cab-drivers. Whereas our officers have generally some private means, and either can or do purchase some, if not all, of their commissions. ”

“ The great object in equipping a soldier is to enable him to maintain himself on his ground. For this purpose, besides his arms, ammunition, and accoutrements, he carries food for two or more days according to the occasion, a great coat or blanket, or both, according to the season, and his knapsack, which with us constitute “heavy marching order.” Thus equipped, he is independent of the commissariat, and though he cannot run fast or far with the weight, he can hold a position, and maintain himself on his ground as long as food and ammunition last. ”

“ As long as a Frenchman does not tumble off, it is a matter of indifference, whether his hands are near his horse’s ears or his own. The last thing he thinks of is a ride into the country for the pleasure of the exercise, and he no more would keep a horse for that purpose, than an Englishman would a camel for his dog-cart. When he does keep a horse, it is for the Bois de Boulogne. ”

“ The French have a fine force of cavalry, there being at Versailles as many as seven thousand horses, which are of a wiry, serviceable description. Great pains have been taken to improve the breed of horses for army purposes. The men look well, and are counted efficient, but for some reason or other, the cavalry is not held in the same estimation as the other branches of the service.
A Frenchman is a poor horseman; he is not made for sitting on a horse; he has no hands, his whole weight is on the curb, and altogether he never seems at home on horseback. ”

“ With their private fortunes, and the value of their commissions to fall back upon, they will not face a disappointment in promotion, or a bad climate, or even a disagreeable quarter. On the breaking out of hostilities, the first impulse of every officer is to rush to the seat of war; the second is to rush back again. After a few weeks of the stern business of real war, and there is nothing so matter-of-fact, and on the spot has so little romance as war, our amateur officers cannot be kept at their posts. ”

“ After dinner we play rampse, a curious game like five-card loo, but at which nobody wins, and the loser puts two or three sous into the pool. A partie takes up as much time as a short rubber at whist, and it will be seen that it requires a great deal of attention to enable any one of us to lose half a franc in an evening. ”

“ A man is naturally afraid of those who have authority over his life and property—a feeling that engenders a courteous, conciliating tone, which is not a little apt to dwindle into a fawning, double-faced manner. Now the best of good manners being to appear impressed with the superiority of any one, either in rank, appearance, or intellect, the transition is easy from courtier to refined gentleman ”

“ So one morning I packed up my things, and was in Paris the same evening. I was driven to an hotel recommended to me by an Englishman during the passage in the steamer; but as the worst room in the house was three francs and a-half a day, without attendance, I started off the following morning in search of a lodging more suited to my finances. I had the choice of either living in a room in an hotel, which in France—and I am speaking more particularly of hotels for the French,—is nothing more than a large lodging-house, with the privilege of dining in the house or not ”